Once upon a time, I ran into a nurse who was with a woman who was crying because she recently lost a child. The woman was obviously in some desperate need of compassion and care. I said to this nurse, outside of a room and away from the patient, that she could probably use a hug.
The nurse shocked me by saying she would not hug this person, because she has no idea what she is feeling. She told me that she "couldn't relate" to this woman's pain and therefore, didn't feel like her compassion or hug would make a difference. As soon as this nurse left the area (and once I was able to lift my jaw from the floor), I went into the room, held this woman's hand, listened to her talk about her beloved son and then, ended our conversation with a warm hug.
I lost a child 14 years ago. A son. Perhaps that made me feel better connected to this person and perhaps, more empathetic than my co-worker.
This same nurse refused to hug or nurture a woman who had a termination of pregnancy performed. Again, this nurse stated that not only could she not relate...but she was pro-life and would feel like a hypocrit if she told her that everything would be "okay". I was a little taken aback quite honestly. It negated everything I had ever learned in nursing school.
I suppose my question is...are you able to offer a hug, a hand to hold, a warm and kind word to a patient, even if you are unable to relate to their situation? Or, if you are disagree with their life choice, could you still show compassion?
