What's wrong with kids today? (and I'm not even that old)

Nursula_rn · Jul 20, 2011

Childhood now extends into the upper 20s. It is no longer the case where you are raised to move out and fend for yourself. Many parents are happy to assist in extending their child's childhood because life is hard, and they want to protect their chidren from the hardships of life- like adulthood. It is no coincidence that helicopter parents and hover mothers coexist with this over-aged children. Many of our offspring will be insulated from the reality that is their adulthood by living at home or greatly subsidized by their parents- if you are not busy being consumed by your adulthood (working, being responsible enough to remain in your chosen occupation on a consistent basis, paying your own rent/cell bill/student loan; having adult relationships with other adults) you are free to spend time being a child. Consumed by yourself. Facebook all about you and yours- your clothes, your makeup, your new car/gadgets. Narcisism, prolonged childhood, and hover parents with boomerang children who keep coming back well into what used to be adulthood. Thats what we have going on, imho.

Always_Learning, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

I agree with flipnsip. Culturally, things have changed drastically in a fairly short period of time. My grandmother tells stories of her generation and how 16 year old girls were expected to marry and take care of the entire family, and boys of the same age were to have a job and support the family, period.

The same age children now are considered just that...children. We don't really think it that odd for a young adult to go to college while living with parents, and maybe not even have a "real job" until age 22-25 or older. Some of the maturity that comes with living on your own, interacting with co-workers, and paying bills just doesn't happen 'til much later on, it seems.

Momfirstalways · Jul 20, 2011

I work labor and delivery and many of these immature 18,19,20,and21 year olds are having kids of their own. They are the worst patients to take care of. Very whiney, don't want to feel anything and extremely demanding and spoiled. Also taking full advantage of Medicaid. These are the people raising the future generation!!!! Heaven help us!

Florence NightinFAIL, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

I don't think you necessaily have to move out. I'm part of a culture that children live with parents until they get married. So I can afford to move out - but I'm still at home.

However....I was cooking, cleaning, and taking care of my siblings since I was 15 - and it was not asked but expected as part of being in the family that you contribute to it. Same for my siblings when they reached around 15 - male or female. When I graduated from nursing - I was expected to contribute to the family financially. I pay some of the bills, for my siblings school fees etc. I don't resent it - I plan on raising my family the same way.

I guess it's about how much responsibility you are willing to give your kids. I have friends who got married in their mid twenties that don't know how to cook or do laundry - really? We have gotten so far as a society that a machine does the work that used to take hours - and you don't know how to turn a simple switch?

butterfly134 · Jul 20, 2011

Im a nursing student studying for my bsn (straight out of highschool) Funny enough I can understand why the 18 year old was crying and upset. Probably WERE scared, at 18/19 and even 20 you are still very young.Its also harder for kids that age if they were protected a lot by their parents/guardians growing up. Really they are just seeing the real world now and hospital is a scary place if you've never been before. You also dont know what stories she might have heard from her friends at school that she took seriously. I know some people might disagree that I think at this age they are still kids? I can understand your frustration with the 21 year old...that just sounds a bit silly. The 24 year old is defo NOT a kid. Like at that stage you really are an adult.

In general Im sure not ALL people in their mid twenties act immaturely. People are very different and some people can't help but cry, its better that than lash out in anger! And im sure after crying they might feel embarrased afterwards. I think its also fair to say that some people also crave attention but if they do...there might be a reason behind it yano! All I suppose we can do as nurses/student nurses is get on with the job even though sometimes it can be hard :) :)

Always_Learning, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

True. Moving out is just an arbitrary thing I threw out there, since that is often considered a rite of passage. I guess what I was trying to say is that modern culture seems to advocate a longer adolescence, where responsibility is deferred and these milestones come later. (This is not universal, obviously, as is illustrated by your story...and mine for that matter. My butt had to get a job right out of high school! :lol2: )

Reese2012 · Jul 20, 2011

I know someone that is around 26yrs old, dependent on their parents their entire life. Just last year, her grandparents passed away and instead of selling the house, the parents gave HER the house to live in. Not only that but furnished it for her, and she does not have a mortgage to pay. It is rediculous to think that that is how she thinks life is supposed to be. While my butt is working full time, going to school, married, and I am doing it all on my own with my OWN money. People nowadays do not realize what it takes to be in the real world. They think that mommy and daddy will support them forever. Seriously GROW UP

Reese2012 · Jul 20, 2011

I work labor and delivery and many of these immature 18,19,20,and21 year olds are having kids of their own. They are the worst patients to take care of. Very whiney, don't want to feel anything and extremely demanding and spoiled. Also taking full advantage of Medicaid. These are the people raising the future generation!!!! Heaven help us!

My question is where are the parents to control their teenagers to make sure they don't end up in that situation. The parents are going to end up raising the kid because the "parents" are not going to have a stable job to support the child.

LouisVRN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

I didn't know how to do laundry until I met my DH. Not because I refused to learn but because there was never a need to learn. I suppose I have the epitome of the "hover mother" although I love her dearly. I am now 27 and work full time and my grandma still send me "spending money" for no reason on occasion. I think it super cute and love that in her 90s she still is able to remember my name, much less keep track of all her own finances. That being said I know when it is time to put on my big girl pants and act like the adult that I am - being a mom, buying a house, going to work. My DH on the other hand is the complete opposite and has been taking care of himself since he was about 5 more or less and moved out I think at 16. The fact is even I can look at some of our patients and be like *** is wrong with you?!?

Zen123 · Jul 20, 2011

Let me know when allnurses starts a forum about-kids- because I have an 18 year old. Who's driving me batty right now! :uhoh3: :mad:

Always_Learning, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

I guess the struggle is to address this as a cultural issue with patients, rather than just chalking it up to brattiness (as I would likely do!) Even if a person is 20+ years old, if they have been in an environment where they are still treated as a child, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that they act that way (crying, seeking reassurance, etc.) But it's a struggle... :cool: