What's it really like to be a nurse?

[OhNatasha]

I am 34, and recently quit my job as a corporate manager. It was a job I stumbled into, and there were things about it I loved - namely the people I worked with - but I found I missed simple human kindness; at the end of the day we were about making money, not about creating care and compassion and a nicer world.

I have thought about nursing since I was around 20 - it's the one profession I can think of that seems like it would best fit many parts of me. The thing I care about most in the world is human relationships; I love music and the out-of-doors and other things, too, but none of that has any meaning without the relationships we build with each other. Nursing just feels like it's calling me.

But I'm 34; to become a nurse I would need to move to the city (about 2.5 hours from where I live now), be in school for several years. It would be a huge commitment - financially, emotionally, physically. I would give up the security and calm I have now from being in a place that feels like home - a small, beautiful town where I've made good friends. Kind of a gamble.

Like I said, I have considered/felt called to nursing for many years. I feel I just wasn't ready until now; I feel like it takes tremendous strength to be a nurse, and confidence, and calm, and emotional resilience, and I don't think I had enough of those things until now. I would like to pursue this dream, but I can't tell if I'm crazy.

Have I really grown enough to have the qualities a good nurse has? And do I have unrealistic ideas about what nursing really is? Is the modern health system so difficult that there isn't much space for tenderness and real human connection? Am I strong enough to learn to hold patients' suffering without suffering myself? And how about the abuses I believe nurses sometimes suffer - at the hands of patients, of families, of the medical hierarchy; are those stresses so big I couldn't handle them, or could I learn how? So my question is this - what's it really like to be a nurse?

[RNikkiF]

I'm not one to squash anyone else's dream. However, unfortunately a lot of what has been said is true. There are so many days that I come home feeling abused by patients, other nurses and management. I start running the minute I get in the door and I don't stop for 12 hrs. I rarely get the time I thought I'd have to sit with a patient and help them on a personal level. Having Sao that though, the moments when I feel I've made a real difference to someone keep me going. They DO happen. Not as often as I'd like, but they're there. If this is something you really want to do, go ahead and shadow several different bourses in different floors, specialties and shifts before you commit. Try to shadow at different facilities too. My first memory of wanting to be an RN was when I was four years old. I finally got the courage to do it when I was 34. It is not too late and you will not be in the minority at all. Make the decision carefully and really try to understand what you're getting into because it is a VERY demanding job that you'll have to learn how to NOT take with you when you leave. Good luck to you!

[OCNRN63, RN]

I am shocked at the negative replies. I went back to school at 38 to become a nurse it is the best thing I ever did. I love my job ( most days) and my coworkers. I find it rewarding and i have met a lot of great people. I have seen people at the worst time of their lives deal with tragedy with grace, humor and wit. I have learned what is really important in life and to not take anything for granted. I have been there to witness recovery and the special joy that comes with that.I have also been privileged to help people on that final journey.I couldn't imagine not being a nurse.

I think some of the negative replies might have been tempered had the OP not stated he/she would be moving far from home to go to school, leaving a place where he/she has stability, friendships, family, etc. It's one thing to decide to change careers and do something else, but with everything the OP has stated and taking into account the downsides previous posters have noted, it might be better for the OP to consider it very carefully.

[JZ_RN]

Pay is crap, patients and management treat you like crap, chance for getting a job are crap, and the schooling itself was crap. I love my job but I know I am getting taken advantage of by patients and bosses and I am underpaid and overworked. No handholding, just running your butt off to please everyone else.

[tokmom, BSN, RN]

It's only a decision that you can make and I do think shadowing would be a good idea.

Nursing is very difficult and can often be thankless. You can work your entire shift without taking a break and management can be totally clueless of what is happening on your floor.

With that being said, I did leave nursing and went back after being out for almost 5 yrs. This time I made sure my workplace wasn't freaking toxic. Is it perfect? No, but I do get those moments to hand hold and laugh with pt's. It's it what makes nursing worthwhile.

I work with an excellent crew. We are always there if someone needs help. We really do well as a team.

It is possible to find the nursing job of your dreams, but you might have to start at the bottom of the ladder and work up.

[Nurse ABC]

I think one of the biggest problems with nursing is that we are under-appreciated and taken advantage of from being short-staffed and over-worked. We are also expected to cater to our pt's and their families as if they are in a 5 star resort to increase pt satifaction surveys. The reality is I do occasionally feel like I've made a difference or helped someone feel better but it's not every day. I do hate working holidays while my extended family is celebrating without me. I don't enjoy not seeing my kids for more than an hour or two the days I work. My feet and back ache the days I work. The first day off after working 12's I am so exhausted and sore I can hardly move so I don't get much caught up that day. However, it's nice to have a couple days off in the middle of the week and it's nice to just lay around one day knowing I've put enough time in to working to deserve it. It's nice to go shopping when everyone else is at work. It's nice to know that while I'm home the work is still getting done unlike office jobs where the work just waits for you. It's nice to feel challenged and get to learn every day. Everyone I work with loves their jobs-we just hate the BS we have to put up with sometimes. There is so much variety available if you get tired of one area or don't like it you can move to a different one. If you have your heart set on it then I'd say go for it. I do think the shadowing a nurse is excellent advice as well as becoming a CNA and working your way towards nursing to really know if it's for you. With your management background you might make a great nurse manager if you find bedside nursing too hard! There are many avenues...

[07302003, ASN, RN]

Think about working as a CNA. Seriously. It's great training for prioritization, and interactions with patients and families.

And these days, it's one of the best ways to get a nursing job in a hospital. You will have the good chance of getting a RN job in the hospital system of your choice if you're already working there as a CNA.

[Dpeterson777]

Many nurses in my area (California) are not finding jobs for up to two years. With that said, I don't want to discourage you, however nursing is VERY different than many expect. The time crunch, long hours, high level of responsibility and vast amount of paper work and liability are are the REALITIES of nursing. There is not a ton of time to spend "building relationships" and teaching and caring for patients as you would probably like. Most nurses find it difficult just to get the tasks completed safely. Remember its your license that needs to be protected and many things that need to be considered. I wish I could say nursing was what I thought it would be, but it is not. BUT, with that said, it is a daily challenge and sometimes struggle, but at the same time a privilege and honor. You do get moments with patients that you will never forget. I'd say overall, the job is physically and emotionally very demanding and difficult for the first year. You must be very resilient and have EXCELLENT critical thinking skills to survive. I'd say try phlebotomy or something where you might have less school time/investment and see how you like patient care. Then do what you feel is right! We had several people in our nursing class in their 40's, most had previous healthcare exp. Wish you the best of luck!

[bagola22]

its great in that you get to help save lives. I did not feel called to become a nurse. I became a nurse because I wanted to do anesthesia. onlyreason. If I fail out of school, I will become something else. long hours, treated like crap, made to feel stupid, but seeing someone come back after they've been on deaths door makes it all worth it sometimes

[pamelalayn]

feel like it takes tremendous strength to be a nurse, and confidence, and calm, and emotional resilience, and I don't think I had enough of those things until now. I would like to pursue this dream, but I can't tell if I'm crazy. Have I really grown enough to have the qualities a good nurse has? And do I have unrealistic ideas about what nursing really is? Is the modern health system so difficult that there isn't much space for tenderness and real human connection? Am I strong enough to learn to hold patients' suffering without suffering myself? And how about the abuses I believe nurses sometimes suffer - at the hands of patients, of families, of the medical hierarchy; are those stresses so big I couldn't handle them, or could I learn how? So my question is this - what's it really like to be a nurse?

You really are romanticising this "idea" of yours. The statements above are over the top and ridiculous. Stick with what you know.

[OhNatasha]

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful, honest replies. It is incredibly helpful to hear your experiences, feelings, ideas, and insight. I am touched, too, that so many would respond to the query of a stranger. Thank you very much. I am saddened - for so many reasons - to hear the stress, the overload, the burden, and the abuse so many of you suffer, and how difficult it is to provide the care you wish within the bounds and [frequently inhuman] demands of the modern healthcare system. It is a terrible shame that it should be so difficult. I am also delighted that there are places where the art and science of nursing can be, on balance, satisfying, manageable, and even joyful; that for some, to be a nurse is a wonderful thing.

I absolutely plan to follow up on the suggestion to shadow; I do not believe there is much opportunity to do so here in my small town, particularly on multiple different services, but I believe I ought be able to find a way through the school I'd be attending. I've actually already worked as a CNA - got certified when I was 19. It is true that were I to pursue nursing I'd sacrifice (at least temporarily) much of the comfort I currently have - a cozy little cabin, good friends, a quiet, gentle pace of life. But that sacrifice wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, for comfort is a funny thing: we all need it, desperately. But we also need room to grow, and explore, and try new things, and that sometimes involves [temporary] discomfort. Much of the loveliness of life in a small town - the gentle pace of life, the familiarity, the coziness - are also the sources of its limitations. It can be difficult to find new experiences, new ideas, new avenues. I do believe I'd like to make life here for good. But I think I might like a bit more adventure in the meantime. I'd like to have something really solid upon which to continue to build a life, something I can really bring to the community. It can be difficult to know which comforts to guard with one's life, one's soul; to my mind connections with loved ones, the greatest source of comfort that there is, are the ones to keep close. How best to keep those - that's complicated, for we must be able to be both close and have room to grow. So really, for me, there are two questions: (1) is what I would sacrifice to move (for training) worth what I might gain? (2) is nursing the right avenue for me? It will take a bit of time to tease through. You have helped tremendously.

Thank you again for all of your thoughts and willingness to share experience. For those struggling - I hope that things can get better, or, that if they can't, that other avenues, with brighter days, can find their way to you.

[amygarside]

Being a nurse is a tough job. You may have some romantic perception about it but it can be a job that requires super mental and emotional strenght. If you are not prepared for it, then might as stay put in your job or become a volunteer at your community hospital and see how the nurses work. Try to feel it out first before making the final step.

[Twinmom06, ASN, APN]

I too am a second degree nursing student (I graduate in May)...I'm also nearly 39 - my situation is a bit different in that I was laid off and took the advantage to go back to school - like yourself the desire has been there for a while but the maturity (and life) took awhile...

you WILL pour blood, sweat and tears into nursing school...you WILL study until you feel like you can study no more...but the greatest compliments come from the smallest places...I've had more than one person tell me that I've had the "personality" to be a nurse...I actually enjoy when my mom calls me and asks me questions about my grandma's treatment, or the new medication they want to put my dad on...enjoy while you're a student and in clinical when you have just one patient to focus all your energy on....the patients (mostly) love the one on one attention, and the thank you's are terrific...

before some accuse me of rose colored glasses, I work as an aide and have seen the nurses run their asses off and have patients that have come from hell - but it still hasn't deterred me....the only deterrent right now is the one local hospital system that has gone for-profit...and they've raised their ratio to 1:9....I won't work there (unless its in a specialized role such as ICU or NICU)....but there are PLENTY of nursing positions where I live - so you may have to move but you sound like the type of person that can make friends wherever you wind up! Good luck!