Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!
Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....
To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire
DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!
Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.
When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!
To those wonderful family members we all love so much:
Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK!
You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you.
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Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!
Yes, you are bothersome but only because you have asked me the same question and I have given you the same answer for the past oh, say 15 times that you have called me.
"You need more drugs?!!?" "The nurse told me I was not assigned to get you up this morning. Why is it so freakin' hard for you to wait ten minutes for the next aide to get you washed and dressed?!" "Are you nocturnal or something? Why can't you fall asleep?" "UGH!! What NOW?!" "Can you shut up for now and go answer your call lights?"
What I wanted to say when Mrs. Coworker sat there pretending to fill out I+Os while fixing her hair while three call lights (whom she knows is sick residents with loose stools and vomit on the other end of the call button) are going off right in front of her: Get off your lazy $*@#&% behind before I dump a bedpan full nastiness ALL OVER YOUR PRETTY HAIR.
And of course at the end of my shift I look over to see the I+Os aren't filled out! So guess who has to do it before she punches out? Yah.
What I wanted to say when Mr. Resident gets a hard on after doing pericare and then asks me to sit on his lap and abruptly yanks me over to him: Get your disgusting gross perverted nasty hands off of my waist! Just because you're a resident does not mean that you have permission to ABUSE the staff! If I ever become incontinent and pooped all over myself, I'd be disgusted with myself if I thought that I was attractive to ANYONE at ANYTIME and let it get to a point where I was trying to molest the nursing staff!!
What I wanted to say to Mr. Resident who was trying to report me for taking his shoes off: You JUST asked me to take your #$&@^!&$ shoes off for you, why are you biting my head off? What? NO I can not allow you to take your car home, you're in a locked wing - in a wheelchair - and you're car isn't even here anyways! NO I will not go get it from your daughter! I understand that you don't want to be here but why is that my fault? Fine, go to sleep with your shoes on, YOU'RE going to be uncomfortable, not me!
Of course later on he asked someone else to take his shoes off and blames me not wanting to take his shoes off as the reason why they are still on!! UGH!!
Seriously, I LOVE when people ask me if I work there after I finish some intimate procedure................my sarcastic half wants to say no and smile, but the part of me that likes havig a job refuses to go there.
I just love it when a resident calls you and asks for meds. Then every 5 minutes after they call back requesting the same med. And you can't just ignore the light or the nurse that is responsible for giving the meds will write you up. I just want to break that light and tell the nurse to get off her butt and give the darn meds!
Thank you for this thread! I had the most stressful night at work last night & I just read this entire thread & it made me feel a lot better knowing other people understand.
I had typed out a huge VENT about a nurse I work with, but decided to delete it for privacy reasons. Thankfully, all of the other nurses I work with are AWESOME! I can't wait to become a nurse, but I will never forget what it's like to be an aide.
And honestly, as much as some residents can drive me crazy at times, it's *some* of the family members that make me go nuts!!
When the previous shift leaves your residents soaked including the bed. The resident who you have just done peri care after a massive blow out then decides to let more lose. The resident who blows out and plays with the contents and gets it into their finger nails. The resident who has to get up every 15 minutes after having to be put to bed every time to use the bathroom. No offense but can anyone just have a solid bm once in a while that is easy to clean. Having to use those crazy pantie liners for incontinent residents because it is a dignity issue. The resident who is never happy with the meal that they get and make you go to the kitchen to find out what else they have. The resident who drops all their body weight on you in the middle of a pivot transfer. My personal favorite is the new admit that comes in with no clothes. The residents who screams nurse, nurse all the time. The shower aide who does not tell you she or he will not be getting to so and so today, but gets to some one else who was not on the list. Then the resident is mad at you because you did not get them up on time. Getting a total hoyer lift patient on the toilet.
Jen{NAR}
54 Posts
But...gah...I just put you on the bed pan 20 minutes ago......s**t...........