Ok, so I know I can't be the only one who dreams about just for ONCE saying what's really going through her mind! I love my job, and I do it for the love of my residents, and I always give 100% to make sure they are safe, happy, and cared for. However, I am also extremely sarcastic by nature - and sometimes, well lots of times, I think one thing - but of course say and act completely polite and professional!
Let's see what we all are really thinking in those times of complete stress and chaos we all know too well! I'll start....
To the A&Ax3 perfectly coherent pt who is mean and obnoxious and thinks that he is at the Ritz not a nursing home, and thinks every CNA is his personal assistant / slave::angryfire
DO NOT under any circumstances hit your call light for me to come and pick up your breakfast/lunch/dinner tray - the NANOsecond you finish eating!!!! REALLY! You KNOW that at some point during the 20 other times you call me in there, that I will pick it up on my way out!!!! This drives me absolutely up the wall. Same goes for your urinal (with all 5 cc's of output)!
Stop calling the poor confused residents filthy names. Just because you choose to sit in the hallway all day long doesn't make you the hall monitor! Just because they aimlessly walk or wheel around doesn't mean they are stupid. They are confused. Telling them to get the hell away from you and go back to where "they belong" is nasty and uncalled for. I sometimes secretly hope you will become exactly like them. Soon.
When you ask for an appointment at the barbershop at 8:50 am and they don't open until 9 am, don't hit your call button at 8:55 and ask if I got you a 9 am appointment! I know this may come as a shock to you - but you are not the center of the universe!! You will probably get scheduled sometime later that day, or - GASP - maybe even the next day!
To those wonderful family members we all love so much:
Just because you have an internet connection and access to WebMD, doesn't make you a medical professional. Why the Docs and DON's entertain your completely idiotic and unfounded requests - I will never know. Do you know how hard it is to keep residents properly hydrated? Yet you insist your loved one is over hydrated, and insist he only have one glass of water at every meal. AND you come in during meals and pull a bottle of sea salt out of your purse and dump handfuls onto his food. Hmmmm. OK!
You haven't been to visit grandma in over a year. Grandma is completely contracted, hoyer lift, check and change, with aphasia. When you come and tell me that she told you she has to go to the bathroom and you want me to "take her to the restroom", I am not sure whether I want to giggle or slap you.
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Keep em coming! Just some healthy venting! Thanks a ton!
When the previous shift leaves your residents soaked including the bed. The resident who you have just done peri care after a massive blow out then decides to let more lose. The resident who blows out and plays with the contents and gets it into their finger nails. The resident who has to get up every 15 minutes after having to be put to bed every time to use the bathroom. No offense but can anyone just have a solid bm once in a while that is easy to clean. Having to use those crazy pantie liners for incontinent residents because it is a dignity issue. The resident who is never happy with the meal that they get and make you go to the kitchen to find out what else they have. The resident who drops all their body weight on you in the middle of a pivot transfer. My personal favorite is the new admit that comes in with no clothes. The residents who screams nurse, nurse all the time. The shower aide who does not tell you she or he will not be getting to so and so today, but gets to some one else who was not on the list. Then the resident is mad at you because you did not get them up on time. Getting a total hoyer lift patient on the toilet.
okay if you can pee in a urinal, eat my yourself, stand fairly well and press your call light............PRESS YOUR EFFING CALL LIGHT BEFORE YOU HAVE TO SH** TO ASK FOR A BEDPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T just sh** the bed and then press the call light so you can be cleaned up! i mean come ON! do you LIKE sitting in your own mess???????????
Why is it that you always spill your grape juice at the dinner table when I'm wearing my white pants?? Can't you at least wait until the day I'm wearing my black pants, or better yet, just not knock over the glass at all?? Pretty please??
Seriously? You are mad at me because i wouldn't drop what i was doing with another resident to go adjust your mother's pillow? Heaven forbid I take another resident to the bathroom before she poops herself... I see now that your mother's pillow is infinitely more important... jackass! You're offended because I "won't make time for her?" Meanwhile you are standing here yelling at me and stomping your feet when you COULD be "making time" for your mother by DOING IT YOUR DAMN SELF. You know what lady? You are CRAZY. F you! Better yet, keep on ranting and raving.... maybe you'll stroke out or something and then you and your mother can be "neglected" together!
Specializes in PACU, LTC, Med-Surg, Telemetry, Psych.
Seriously? You are mad at me because i wouldn't drop what i was doing with another resident to go adjust your mother's pillow? Heaven forbid I take another resident to the bathroom before she poops herself... I see now that your mother's pillow is infinitely more important... jackass! You're offended because I "won't make time for her?" Meanwhile you are standing here yelling at me and stomping your feet when you COULD be "making time" for your mother by DOING IT YOUR DAMN SELF. You know what lady? You are CRAZY. F you! Better yet, keep on ranting and raving.... maybe you'll stroke out or something and then you and your mother can be "neglected" together!
Some of those families make me wish I was back waiting tables. At least I would walk out with cash in my pocket nightly for having to put up with jerks rather than wait on a check.
When I was a waiter and you where obviously demanding and not going to tip me, I would just stay away from your table other than do give you food/drink or the check. I would be unseen.
I cannot say what I want to say to them, because what I REALLY want to say is nothing. I just want to give them the min. amount I have to give them without losing my job and disappear, preferably taking care of the real customers.
But a CNA must be seen when family is there, and must interact. There is no disappearing. And there are many more things they can gripe about than in restaurants.
Seriously? You are mad at me because i wouldn't drop what i was doing with another resident to go adjust your mother's pillow? Heaven forbid I take another resident to the bathroom before she poops herself... I see now that your mother's pillow is infinitely more important... jackass! You're offended because I "won't make time for her?" Meanwhile you are standing here yelling at me and stomping your feet when you COULD be "making time" for your mother by DOING IT YOUR DAMN SELF. You know what lady? You are CRAZY. F you! Better yet, keep on ranting and raving.... maybe you'll stroke out or something and then you and your mother can be "neglected" together!
If she plays her cards right, maybe a pressure ulcer will even set in!!
I bet she won't be able to contain her excitement at her freshly-pureed hot dog with a side of liquified macaroni -- my personal favorite!
I cannot say what I want to say to them, because what I REALLY want to say is nothing. I just want to give them the min. amount I have to give them without losing my job and disappear, preferably taking care of the real customers.
That's pretty much what I do. Sucking up is not my forte. NO ONE likes this woman but most of the other CNAs are able to fake it. I can't. I barely look at her and I don't make small talk. Just go in, do what i have to do, and leave quickly. If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all, right? It's gotten to the point where this basketcase of a family member won't even approach me for her inane requests because she can tell I dislike her. Not being chased down the hallway is fine with me though.
The doctors & resident wanted to find Ms. X because she wasn't in her room and they wanted to meet with her. Of course they ask the nurse, who then proceeds to ask me while I'm desperately trying to finish my toileting & pass out snacks so that I can cover my coworker's break in time. Apparently the receptionist downstairs says Ms. Ex is sitting out in the sun.
Well, I have to leave my unit and find Ms. X outside. After convincing her to go up, I ride the elevator up & see doctor and resident sitting on their butts in the office chatting. As I approach, the resident asks in a rude voice, "So ... did you EVER find Ms. Ex?"
I just wanted to say, "You lazy woman! I'm here running my *** off and you're sitting there in the office chatting. You're a RESIDENT, not a DOCTOR. Next time, you go down and get Ms. Ex, huh? Don't treat me like I'm a slave or the dirt on the sole of your shoe." But I guess these sorts of petty jobs are above them MDs.
The doctors & resident wanted to find Ms. X because she wasn't in her room and they wanted to meet with her. Of course they ask the nurse, who then proceeds to ask me while I'm desperately trying to finish my toileting & pass out snacks so that I can cover my coworker's break in time. Apparently the receptionist downstairs says Ms. Ex is sitting out in the sun.
Well, I have to leave my unit and find Ms. X outside. After convincing her to go up, I ride the elevator up & see doctor and resident sitting on their butts in the office chatting. As I approach, the resident asks in a rude voice, "So ... did you EVER find Ms. Ex?"
I just wanted to say, "You lazy woman! I'm here running my *** off and you're sitting there in the office chatting. You're a RESIDENT, not a DOCTOR. Next time, you go down and get Ms. Ex, huh? Don't treat me like I'm a slave or the dirt on the sole of your shoe." But I guess these sorts of petty jobs are above them MDs.
Sounds like the Resident needs a little bit of midnight "potty-training" by the nursing staff. Ex: call at 2:00 am saying you can't read their writing and would like to confirm such-and-such order. Or ask if it's OK to put a cool rag on someone's face. If the staff plays their cards right, you all can "break them in."
:yeah:Omg, CoffeMate, I would LOVE to see that happen with a few of the higher-ups at my facility! They drop off these insane requests and expect them to be done RIGHTNOW and it would be sooooo delightful to call with follow-up questions in the middle of the night! LOL
Por favor, please do not act like you speak absolutely not a word of english when i ask you for help transferring someone. You understand the word break and take the liberty of going on two...what a miracle.
PhoenixTech, LPN
279 Posts
Daaaaaannggg!