I don't know why but that statement makes my jaw clench up everytime I hear it.
I had a patient the other day ask me how I was going to insert a foley since "the head is down there, wont that hurt the baby?" For the love god, people .... come on .. 2 HOLES! SERIOUSLY!
and my favorite of all time ...
"Does that machine beep everytime I dilate?" .. this one left me speechless
Please share your "omg, no she didn't say/ask that" quotes
Not a nurse. Not in OB either. Peds. MAN, I hate when parents say to their unruly children, "SIT DOWN OR SHE'S GONNA GIVE YOU A NEEDLE!!" Umm... You're playing, right?? But then you're irked when the kids going running the other way when I call them back. Be for real, mom!
Or (its usually dad) when I'm ready to administer a shot and he goes "use the biggest needle you got! *Chuckles*" Umm... shut up, dude!! This kid is already going nuts and man I'm telling ya if I get kicked, I'm ssooo meeting you outside! >=[
Not a nurse. Not in OB either. Peds. MAN, I hate when parents say to their unruly children, "SIT DOWN OR SHE'S GONNA GIVE YOU A NEEDLE!!" Umm... You're playing, right?? But then you're irked when the kids going running the other way when I call them back. Be for real, mom!
I used to work in a community health center where we did a LOT of peds nursing, and this used to twerk me off so much. I got to the point where I responded to the parents - in front of the child - "We absolutely do not give shots to punish kids. Disciplining your child is your job, not mine. I give shots to help them get better or keep them from getting sick." (The PNP I worked with used it once; I heard it, liked it, and borrowed it from then on.)
Takes the wind right out of their sails and puts the responsibility back where it belongs.
When FOB says "put an extra stitch in there doc" (when sewing up perineal tears) grrrrr SHUT UUUUP
I believe I read this on this forum, but I can't remember which thread. The FOB made the same request of the female OB/GYN who was stitching up the mother. The OB replied "Sure thing, pencildick!":yeah:
Part of our role is to educate our patients without judging what we feel they should or should not know. Everyone had to learn what they know at some point, some just learn certain things later than others.
Omgosh for a second there I thought I was back in a nursing school lecture.
One that makes me very nearly makes me want to pack up my stethescope and call it a career is this one:
Pt states "Oh, can I have extra diapers, wipes, pads, bottles, etc so that I can go home and not have to buy some for a while. I'm on Medicaid so it's free." Aaaahhh, no it's not free. I'm paying for it!
*Or*
Giving discharge instructions to mom and telling her to take it easy for now and dad asks "When can she join a gym? She needs to lose some weight."
Specializes in Women's Health, currently mother/infant,.
There are so many great "lines" here, and they are funny to read on the computer, but can be so frustrating when working the second or third 12 hr night shift! The top of the list for me is the breastfeeding mom who wants no pacifier, no supplement and has attitude when you tell here that the baby is crying because he needs to eat and her response is "I'll feed him later, I need to rest", or "it hasn't been 3-4 hours yet". Guess the baby forgot his watch. Another good one.. "take my baby to the nursery; will there be someone in there to watch him?" Seriously!
Specializes in correctional, med/surg, postpartum, L&D,.
I took care of a couple the other night. She had to have a c-section for failure to progress. The dad was talking to me saying how many pregnancy books he'd read to prepare them for anything that might happen. I thought it was great that he was so involved with his wife and their new baby.
When I was doing peri-care on her, I was adjusting her foley and slipped her pad out to wipe her down and put in a clean one. The dad was curiously watching what I was doing and alarmingly said, "Is that blood?" The new c-section mom and I looked at him wondering if he was joking. I wanted to ask him what he was expecting -- maybe flowers?
We could tell he wasn't joking and I had to explain to him that even though she had a c/s, there was still blood in there and it had to come out somewhere.
Specializes in correctional, med/surg, postpartum, L&D,.
Oh... thought of another irky thing that they say.
The hospital that I work at is in a religious private college town. Most of our patients are on medicaid because of this. Most times, both parents are students.
On several different occasions, I hear the dad tell the mom to quick and get over this one because they need to have all their kids while they're still in college so they don't have to pay for the babies or their care. I'm thinking, "Yeah, it's so I can pay for them, Skippy".
Since medicaid has started denying circumcisions, it's amazing how the circ rate dropped from about 99% to about 5%. They complain about it, too.
Since medicaid has started denying circumcisions, it's amazing how the circ rate dropped from about 99% to about 5%. They complain about it, too.
It is amazing, isn't it? How about the novel idea of going out and earning the money for the circ if the parent wants it done so badly? I worked at a Baptist home for unwed mothers. It literally drove me crazy. They all had a closet full of new maternity clothes (and wanted more because they weren't tacky message tees), had their food, rent, diapers, formula taken care of by the Bapt general convention of the state, and they all wanted MORE!!! They got field trips that other kids dream of going on, all paid for by the BGC of our state. They were essentially being taught that if they wanted something, they'd get it on a silver platter. AND, when they wanted something more, they'd get together and say, "We want XYZ, let's see if [a certain church group] will pay for it!" And the administration went along with it. I was thoroughly disgusted.
However, all of the girls were on Medicaid. Although private insurance would pay for circs, Medicaid did not (still doesn't). They were pretty upset if they discovered they were having a boy and if they wanted a circ, THEY would have to pay for it. One of the girls became physically violent about it. She actually said to me, "I think that I'll talk to [the director] and she'll get [a certain church group] to have a fundraiser to pay for for my baby's [circ]." My jaw dropped and said, "Michelle, if you want to have your baby circumsized, then YOU are going to have to pay for it. It's not a necessary surgery." She replied, "But I'm on Medicaid!! Everything's free for me!!" I said, "No, you are going to have to learn that not everything is free, especially when you turn 18 and leave here. How about I talk to your main houseparent about getting a job at Subway to pay for your baby's circ?" With that, she lunged at me and got me to the floor. I called the director immediately who informed me that I was in the wrong for suggesting she needed to work for it. As this was the 2nd time this gal lunged at me and they weren't going to do anything, I told her that I quit. It wasn't worth getting seriously hurt over. Wish I had called the cops, but the director begged me not to a this girl was in enough legal trouble already. She told me I needed to the Christian thing and to forgive and forget. I replied that if this girl seriously hurts or kills me, then my family certainly wasn't going to "forgive and forget."
ImASuckyCMA87
67 Posts
Not a nurse. Not in OB either. Peds. MAN, I hate when parents say to their unruly children, "SIT DOWN OR SHE'S GONNA GIVE YOU A NEEDLE!!" Umm... You're playing, right?? But then you're irked when the kids going running the other way when I call them back. Be for real, mom!
Or (its usually dad) when I'm ready to administer a shot and he goes "use the biggest needle you got! *Chuckles*" Umm... shut up, dude!! This kid is already going nuts and man I'm telling ya if I get kicked, I'm ssooo meeting you outside! >=[