Okay, the closed "Religion and Nursing" thread made 1 thing very clear to me. There are things at work/school you should NOT,NOT,NOT talk about unless you are absolutely sure that everyone else is in the same boat as you and therefore no possibilty that anyone feels threatened.
From the thread, we all know religion (#1 thing NOT to talk about!) is one of these things.
Someone on the thread said something to the likes, "MY mommy told me never to talk about money, politics, religion, or sex" in polite company. "Polite company" meaning, i guess, any group of people who are not close friends. I think this truism is basically true.
My examples:
So, I made a mistake at a first job by taking my co-workers for close buddies and expressing freely my ideas about sex and how it should be. BIG MISTAKE! Led to major misunderstandings and embarrassment... (#2 thing NOT to talk about!)
Then, even though I wanted them to stop and didn't want to hear it, I let co-workers complain, jabber, and gossip to me about the poltics of the company and who was making more $$$ than whom. BIG MISTAKE! I felt uncomfortable and distrusting of my supervisors and personally under a microscope by everyone and felt like I was being dishonest by hearing bad things about people and then going to work with them the whole time while I was there. I felt like spurting out everything that was being said to relieve the tension and distrust. I should have just told them to keep their ramblings to themselves. (#3 and #4 things NOT to talk about!)
CONCLUSION: The best conflict resolution technnique is conflict avoidance. Anyone want to add their own experiences to these examples or better yet, add other things that u think one should NOT to talk about to my list of "THINGS NOT, NOT, NOT to Talk about at Work" ?
I believe in a no gossip rule. It'll save you a lot of heartache in the end. No politics, sex, or religion.
I will add that I've had a few odd ball moments of disclosure when an emergent job requirement conflicted with my faith beliefs. My job requires that I facilitate an appeals board for the public with volunteer MDs. It is one hour in an afternoon, no meals involved. One new MD came in late and said "you, nurse, get me coffee now". I explained where the coffee was and she just shoed me off. I had to pull her aside and let her know that caffeine violates my faith beliefs. She was annoyed but had no rebuttal.
Yeah, one of the registry nurses I work with once bragged about a threesome she'd had with her husband and best friend that weekend while we were preparing for report. Too much info. there and I didn't think that was the most professional thing to discuss at work...
you never ever know what will come back and haunt you. anything you say and do, can and will be held against you, i.e., backstabbers....even you're so-called closest friends. learn to be a good listener and just do your job.
KaciLynn, whats that girl's name that did the threesome?
Just KIDDING..............Personal life details, politics, religions, all that stuff needs to stay at home because someone will cause you grief over it or argue with you. I've even seen doctors tell patient families that there is no reason to call clergy because faith won't do good at this point.....what a looser! It is not his decision!
Sometimes administration and the public see us nurses acting and talking about thier personal lives, foul language, bad habits, etc. and they treat us accordingly when it is payday time. The more professional we act at work, the more we can ask for professional status.
Yeah, one of the registry nurses I work with once bragged about a threesome she'd had with her husband and best friend that weekend while we were preparing for report. Too much info. there and I didn't think that was the most professional thing to discuss at work...
Lord have mercy we had a nurse like that . . . . I don't want to know the sexual details of your life. arrgghh.
It is hard to draw a line . . you can get drawn into gossip and participate in it.
One subject not to talk about at work: KOBE - Got into an argument about Kobe at work . . .one of the male RN's said "if you show up at a guy's door in a little white tank top and tiny shorts and walk in the door, all bets are off and you deserve whatever happens". That ruffled the feathers of the women. He said "there is a point that a man cannot say no and no doesn't mean no to a woman". I'm sorry buddy, shoot it off in the air but NO MEANS NO.
My #1 belief that is getting me through nursing school that I will take with me to the workplace. DO NOT talk about your co-workers or fellow students. If I have something nice to say about somone I will say it, if I don't I keep my mouth shut.
Just think how much better the working/school environment would be if we all had a rule not talk bad about each other. It would truly save so many hurt feelings and make the workplace so much better.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I refrain for gossip.......I really do. If I hear something I usually say I am not comfortable talking about a person who is not there and then walk away. I don't like being the target of it, so why participate? I also find people confide in me things you would only reserve for your closest friend or priest. I guess cause they know it will go no further.
And NO thanks, I don'twant to hear about your sexual escapades or gymnastics. I will quickly turn down that "opportunity" by walking away, and finding something to keep me busy. Call me a prude, but I really don't want to know.
Other than that, I don't think anything is "off limits" if we can all be adults and respect each others' points of view. Fortunately, where I work, we usually do.
Okay, the closed "Religion and Nursing" thread made 1 thing very clear to me. There are things at work/school you should NOT,NOT,NOT talk about unless you are absolutely sure that everyone else is in the same boat as you and therefore no possibilty that anyone feels threatened.
From the thread, we all know religion (#1 thing NOT to talk about!) is one of these things.
Someone on the thread said something to the likes, "MY mommy told me never to talk about money, politics, religion, or sex" in polite company. "Polite company" meaning, i guess, any group of people who are not close friends. I think this truism is basically true.
My examples:
So, I made a mistake at a first job by taking my co-workers for close buddies and expressing freely my ideas about sex and how it should be. BIG MISTAKE! Led to major misunderstandings and embarrassment... (#2 thing NOT to talk about!)
Then, even though I wanted them to stop and didn't want to hear it, I let co-workers complain, jabber, and gossip to me about the poltics of the company and who was making more $$$ than whom. BIG MISTAKE! I felt uncomfortable and distrusting of my supervisors and personally under a microscope by everyone and felt like I was being dishonest by hearing bad things about people and then going to work with them the whole time while I was there. I felt like spurting out everything that was being said to relieve the tension and distrust. I should have just told them to keep their ramblings to themselves. (#3 and #4 things NOT to talk about!)
CONCLUSION: The best conflict resolution technnique is conflict avoidance. Anyone want to add their own experiences to these examples or better yet, add other things that u think one should NOT to talk about to my list of "THINGS NOT, NOT, NOT to Talk about at Work" ?
Hello there,
What an interesting topic! The last and hopefully only hospital job I ever worked was famous for gossipping about co-workers and I turned out to be their VERY favorite subject. For 18 miserable months I felt sick from the minute I arose anticipating such a hostile work environment. I later found out that the Nurse Manager started the hate campaign and NEVER let up until I quit. I actually ran into my former preceptress who admitted to me, "I sure hated what happened to you on (name of unit)." I knew that had she tried to defend me, or at least not joined in the let's get (my name) game, the nurse manager would have had her for lunch. What a sorry, vindictive, petty person. Believe it, she's still there! I also found out several subjects NOT to discuss: anything you own, anywhere you have ever travelled, if your spouse is from another country, if you child has any type of disability, any marital problems, any financial problems, any purchases made or any thing you have done to improve yourself. These subjects are firestarters. I agree that nursing is a highly stressful job and it's a shame that nurses have to backbite and devour one another. Don't they see they are playing directly into management hands? Doctors, dentists, attorneys and other PROFESSIONALS like we are supposed to be, NEVER knock one another in public. Just never. That's why they are more respected than nurses, and make the kind of money they deserve. They would never stand for the kind of travesty managed care has wreaked upon the medical profession, and upon nursing in particular. Nurses, ladies and men, let's stand together. If we don't stand for something, we'll fall for anything! :uhoh21:
For me personally, at my past jobs I have learned not to let my co-workers know alot about my home life. Sure they know I am a single mother, but that's where it stops. I agree with the other posters...no sex, religion, or politics talk. I do not get involved in gossip of any kind. I feel this is what will make my time in nursing school with the same 30 ppl a little bit easier.
I have found (from experience) that the less you say about your personal life the better. What co-workers dont know cannot be gossiped about with much interest. In the long run I have found this to be the safest way to conduct myself on the job. ( following bad experiencesJ). I do not socialize with any of the staff away from the job. This is a sad but true fact, for myself anyway. I dont feel as though I can ever let down my gaurd, so while I am friendly to everyone, I remain professional in my attitude and also, I never have a bad word to say about anyone else on the job!!
For me personally, at my past jobs I have learned not to let my co-workers know alot about my home life. Sure they know I am a single mother, but that's where it stops. I agree with the other posters...no sex, religion, or politics talk. I do not get involved in gossip of any kind. I feel this is what will make my time in nursing school with the same 30 ppl a little bit easier.
Firstly, congratulations on choosing LPN school instead of BSN. They'll be busting down the doors to hire you! We learned in nursing school that they are going to phase out LPNs eventually, but I've discovered just the opposite. I've actually had interviewers tell me, "too bad you aren't an LPN." Imagine my surprise! At any rate, when you graduate just be sure to reveal nothing about your life. Talk about the weather, fashion, music or whatever and you will be OK. Take care, and good luck.
to Talk about at Work" ?
Quickbeam, BSN, RN
1,011 Posts
I believe in a no gossip rule. It'll save you a lot of heartache in the end. No politics, sex, or religion.
I will add that I've had a few odd ball moments of disclosure when an emergent job requirement conflicted with my faith beliefs. My job requires that I facilitate an appeals board for the public with volunteer MDs. It is one hour in an afternoon, no meals involved. One new MD came in late and said "you, nurse, get me coffee now". I explained where the coffee was and she just shoed me off. I had to pull her aside and let her know that caffeine violates my faith beliefs. She was annoyed but had no rebuttal.