What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

[Stitchie]

I'll second that!

[mandrews]

We had a mom come in with her infant because the infant had a diaper rash. She called in a complaint because others were seen before her. a code, a fx femur, a broke hip, a decreased loc, and a chestpain. Somehow her babys diaper rash was more important even though there is a sign that says patients are seen based on need.

melissa

[jenn_rn_nj]

chapped lips, approximately 3am - via ambulance

edit: reading the thread as i reply, someone else had this one, too!

edit2: forgot the most famous one that we still talk about "passing these aliens" is exactly what the "reason for visit" field indicated on the sign in slip :)

[Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN]

And I'm sure the pain was killing them, and they needed to be rehydrated and have meds for pain and nausea.

Chapped lips wins. Even my stupid drug test guy (yes he was an idiot, and a needy one at that!) made the chapped lips people look fairly legitimate. At least you wouldn't laugh in their faces. I hope.

But it's so HARD not too!!!!!!!

[charebec65]

These are from my bro-in-law who is an ER doc...

Late teen/early 20's girl, boyfriend dumped her at ER, their sex games had included coke bottle in an orifice in which it didn't belong...a suction formed and she couldn't get it out.

(this one's pathetic) Aphasic elderly man in LTC facility. Brought in d/t incessant crying of a couple of hours duration. Bob figured out that the only fix he needed was being repositioned in his wc. He'd been sitting on his testicles.......

[Kingbandit]

sitting in Taco bell drive tru when hit from behind @ all of 2mph Manager trainee stated well I guess we'll have to pay for this 7admits to ED c neck/back pain 2 MDs half got toradol and vicodin to go home half got vics and Percocets argument insued over why Pt A got vics and Pt B got Percs Security escorted family out that night

[JessicRN]

Just today we got a pt 24 female took 2 motrin instead of one by accident her legs are now shaky. Came by ambulance.

[epiphany]

sitting in Taco bell drive tru when hit from behind @ all of 2mph Manager trainee stated well I guess we'll have to pay for this 7admits to ED c neck/back pain 2 MDs half got toradol and vicodin to go home half got vics and Percocets argument insued over why Pt A got vics and Pt B got Percs Security escorted family out that night

huh?

[Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN]

These are from my bro-in-law who is an ER doc...

Late teen/early 20's girl, boyfriend dumped her at ER, their sex games had included coke bottle in an orifice in which it didn't belong...a suction formed and she couldn't get it out.

(this one's pathetic) Aphasic elderly man in LTC facility. Brought in d/t incessant crying of a couple of hours duration. Bob figured out that the only fix he needed was being repositioned in his wc. He'd been sitting on his testicles.......

story 1.

Story 2. Poor baby.

[2real]

TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!

Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???

A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging member to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a member like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the member is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.

THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .

I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.

[Victoriakem]

TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!

Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???

A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging member to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a member like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the member is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.

THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .

I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.

ewww! What a shift that was!

[Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN]

TNTC...Rectally inserted vibrator , unable to retrieve - spent 4 hrs in ER, surgeon finally called in- tried for another 2 hrs. Pt was finally taken to OR to remove under sedation. Spent 5 hrs in pacu--- ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!! He was too tired to go home -- since he'd BEEN UP ALL NIGHT!! I finally sat hi up - tossed him his clothes and told him to SLEEP AT HOME! I missed my family Holiday celebrationfor this yutz. He was too embarrassed to go home - his family was in the waiting room thinking he had some tragic accident--- nobody told them! HIPPA>>gotta luv it!

Another day- a man with rectal pain-- bic razor in bowel. Looks mighty impressive on xray! He " got a little carried away while masturbating" WITH A RAZOR???

A pt from the mental health institution was sent for PRIAPISM. It seems his favorite passtime is masturbation. This time the blood clotted and it could not drain-- and became excrutiating! The urologist stuck needles into it all over like a pin cushion! What a sight--( nightmare) then he(urologist) began to stroke up on the shaft of this rather large , swollen , bulging member to try to push the clots out todrain thru the needles he inserted. I told him that i didn't want to tell him how to do his job but... in my experience, pumping a member like that is just gonna keep it in the stae it's in! We chuckled,. Finally he decided to remove the needles and wrap with a pressure dressing and coban. All the while the member is still quite erect and enlarged. Now the patient is in restaints, because whenever his hands are free he compulsively wants to masturbate all the time. So he's flat on his back with this large protrusion. Now I have to transport my patient thru the halls to be admitted! The halls are aflutter with visitors, children, administration this time of day. So I throw a sheet over him and there's no disguising THE THING.

THIS IS NO LIE, NO EXXAGERATION-- THIS WAS ONE OF MY MOST MEMORABLE DAYS OF 15 YRS OF WORKING IN THE ER! I still get razzed about it .

I have others but these are some of the most memorable of the top of my head.

:yelclap: :lol_hitti :rotfl: :roll

*tear* whew!!! oh my......my my my.......I'm sure you couldn't help but laugh your a$$ of when you got home!!!