What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

My aunt was working at a regional hospital before she moved back home, they had a man who lived in their break room for weeks.

That's right, they have nowhere to go and when that's the case, faking an illness and putting up with any subsequent tests isn't such a bad deal, and a hospital room, even a shared one, is a pretty nice place to be. It's safe and warm. There's always someone around to talk to ( I imagine being elderly and homeless is pretty lonely), and nice nurses come ask how you're feeling and bring you hot meals 3 times day, as well as the occasional snack. Many elderly folks have a variety of aches and pains, and being out in the elements can't be easy on them. For the duration of their stay, their medicated, even if it's only aspirin, so the aches are gone. They get to rest in the hospital, and not worry about someone stealing the blankets off of them while they sleep. They have access to a bathroom, rather than the bushes.

Last of all, even the homeless have pride, especially the elderly. It is easier for them to call friends and family and say that they're in the hospital than to say they are on the streets.

If only budgets allowed for hiring someone to help the individuals find a more acceptable alternative. You know what they say about an ounce of prevention, and in this case it so very true. So much time and money could be saved if these people were dealt with differently right from the start.

Specializes in ER.

First time mom...brand new baby...CC:"Belly button fell off"

The scab of the remaining umbilical cord fell off...

First time parents in ER at 3am "The baby will not stop crying"... " We changed her and fed her and now she just keeps on crying." Charge Nurse in the ER put the baby on her shoulder, patted its back, baby burped, baby went to sleep.

0230 am middle aged male c/o flu-like symptoms for four years! :rolleyes:

About 0430 am Mom obviously trashed along with friend who drove them to our ER brings in 5 y/o with c/o N&V (dried vomited on child's night shirt). Understand they drove to us from a near by city with plenty of hospitals. The kicker they wanted a prescription yah you heard me for Tylenol. We did a work up on the kid and she was fine PO challenge included. We'll I couldn't let the child get back into a car with a drunks one passed out on the stretcher with the kid. The other passed out in the waiting room. I pressed for time by telling Mom that Tylenol was so strong we couldn't keep it in the ER, and we had to wait for pharmacy to bring it to us. Meanwhile I did the only thing I could and police were on there way. We they arrived they kicked the stretcher several times to wake Mom finally when she woke up very surprised I must add they ran her info. A couple minutes later she was cuffed and heading for jail for several outstanding warrants. They waited outside for the driver to get into his car when they arrested him for DWI. I kept the kid until Grandma arrived to pick her up. All over a prescription for Tylenol. :p

The police had raided a crack house. In the refrigerator they found what they thought was a human fetus. They brought it to the ER. It was an oyster.

This should have gone to the County Medical Examiner/Coroner. NOT the emergency room. Police officers should know that.....or did they think you would actually be able to revive the "fetus"?!?! :uhoh3:

Someone, whose post I read....don't read this stuff if you're queasy when you first get up.

I'm getting kinda sick.

Maggots and tampons gross me out.

This happened just last night and I'm still shaking my head.

64 year old male (let's call him Bert) is brought into ER by ambulance at 0300. It has not been a good night in the little ER and I am really tired and a bit cross that this frequent flyer has come up to the hospital by ambulance once again. He has a psych history and is on a few of the more interesting meds.

EMS can only tell me that Bert won't tell them why he needed an ambulance to come in - he was dressed and standing outside of his residence when they arrived. The crew is female and he said it was too embarassing. When he registers at the front desk with our female clerk - same thing, too embarassing.

As soon as I see him I start feeling just a bit more unhappy.

I take him into a quiet chairs area and ask him why he needed to come in at 0300 by ambulance. He says that he wants a male nurse - :angryfire. I tell him it's me or nobody.

He says that he has been home and felt the urge to masterbate. . The first time he "got no relief" so he called the nursing hot line. He tried again 4 more times, each time without getting relief and each time he called the nursing hot line for help. I can just hear the frustration in their voices as they finally told him to "Seek medical help at the hospital". He even tried putting on Stompin' Tom Connors western music (guess it has a beat) and wasn't able to get any relief, so he came up to emerg for help.

After clarifying that there was no problem with breathing, no loc, no chest pain, no priaprism, no blood, I kinda lost it. I told him that I couldn't help him, that I wasn't a prostitute and that I didn't get paid enough to help him out.

My poor on call doc (also female) was doubled over in laughter as I came back through the door. All night long, through the lacs and the suicidal women and the chest pains and so on you could hear one of us snickering about calling the local radio station for more Stompin' Tom.:chuckle

Specializes in ER.

Brilliant! I wonder if the government would be willing to make up some "how to masturbate" pamphlets to avoid spending $$ on extra ER visits. I betcha it would qualify as a disablility if enough people complained...

Perhaps community health nurses could hold some teaching classes. But they would have to be trained by their administrators-oh the mind boggles..

Brilliant! I wonder if the government would be willing to make up some "how to masturbate" pamphlets to avoid spending $$ on extra ER visits. I betcha it would qualify as a disablility if enough people complained...

Perhaps community health nurses could hold some teaching classes. But they would have to be trained by their administrators-oh the mind boggles..

:rotfl: :rotfl: oh the mental pictures!!!

Last noc when I went to work, the nurse that I was following was giving me report and telling me that he sent a pt to the ER. He said, "I am such a dumba**, I sent her out because I went to replace her foley and all this blood came out. " The ER doc called him back and said that she was having her period. We are so used to taking care of old ladies, we're a little out of sync, I guess, I told him that I probably would have done the same thing! :smackingf :lol_hitti

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