I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse.
We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as usual for her safety. She was our designated resident nightmare geri from hell, so she was placed near the Nurse's station.
So we are chilling out at the Nurse's station, chatting and trying to get through another night...
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see our lady in question standing in the dimly lit doorway of her room!
I instantly leap out and run to her. As I approach her, she appears to be falling towards me, so I meet her in a bear hug...my arms around her waste, and her arms around my shoulders.
As I catch the lady, I notice a very strong smell of feces, and I feel something warm on my hands, arms and shoulders...
My fellow heroes come in behind me, and as the lights are turned on, my worst fears are instantly realized.
Yes, I caught the poor old lady with a good old bear hung football catch, but I was also covered in the lady's feces.
As I look at her, she has feces smeared all over her arms and hands... (and even her face!)
The worst incident I have dealt with changed my career path. In clinicals I could hear the homeless,double amputee that I was assigned to yelling for me. I went in the room and he had dug out his own impaction! It was everywhere and he was wiping his hands on the blankets. I threw up all over the place, so my poor teacher and fellow students had that to contend with also. I am now a Peds nurse.
When I was but a lowly (but very hardworking) butt scrubber, I had many opportunities to care for a street-walking prostitute. She occasionally (monthly) came in with mild to moderate trauma, and was almost always treated for STI during admission. One time she was admitted w/o trauma, because she had crippling abdominal pains during and after anal sex. It turns out she had 7 feet of ischemic bowel, and the bloated near-septic bowel was not happy with the rough treatment she was [frequently] getting from behind. She was DCed a few weeks later with a new colostomy, a surgically sealed rectum, and strict instructions not to let anyone or anything near her backside.
She was admitted a week later with abdominal pain, and blood & purulent discharge from her stoma. The latest STI had inflamed her intestinal mucosa, and she was well on her way to losing the rest of her digestive tract. An adorable intern (likely from the suburbs) went in to discuss the prognosis with her, and turned white when the patient stated "Honey, I don't suck nothing. I kiss my babies with these lips. My mouth is clean." The entrance point for that STI is a piece of the lore of that place now.
This guy must have worked at a vet hospital. We see all kinds of abscesses on all species of animals (except humans). Abscess popping is an art to some technicians. They can shoot the cheesy, pureulent, mucousy, bloody pus and aim it in any direction. Maggots are also common especially in the summer. Warble maggots are the worse as they are large, yucky, brown and spiney. One of them is the size of a small kitten. I won't go into some of the really necrotic tumors that I have seen over the years. Certain smells certainly bring back memories...not good ones either.
Fuzzy
Havey you seen that "Dirty Jobs" episode where they're at a leather tannery, and Mike Rowe finds a boil on the underside of a hide that's about the size of a golfball, and then squeezes this toothpaste-like substance from it?
I've been nursing for 16 years so I have the usual poop, pee and assortied liquid stories but the funnies thing happened when I was a patient. I had my ileostomy converted to a kpouch at cleveland clinic and got an ileus. About 5 days post-op I and still on liquid only diet I told the nurses I was nausiated. I only had that little bean shaped basin and put my call light on for something more usefull. No answer and when I started to projetile vomit green liquid over the foot of the bed my room mate started yelling "nurse, nurse!" The nice young lady who rushed into the room came to a stop at the end of my bed- and you guessed it- got splatted with about 500ml of green liquid spewing from my mouth. Sorry....but I told you I was nausious.
It's entirely possible that this nurse already told that story earlier in this thread.
Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.
I had a guy come to the triage desk one day covered in stool. He has lost his vibrator up his "private part" and had been trying to dig it out by himself. It was so disgusting, but funny.
i had a guy come to the triage desk one day covered in stool. he has lost his vibrator up his "private part" and had been trying to dig it out by himself. it was so disgusting, but funny.
One day this boy who was very ill and had special needs and had just had an op on his leg well he was being sick all the time when I went to him one day he was sat drinking his own sick:down: I was nearly sick myself but bless him he had special needs
Ok, a few years ago, while working on an Oncology unit I was looking after a former homeless guy who was in with cancer of the tongue. One day I got him in the tub to have a bath, I wasn't convinced he'd give himself a thorough washing so I watched him and then proceeded to to all the bits he'd missed or couldn't reach. Everything was fine until I got to his member -he'd only done a quick wipe down with the wash cloth, which was clean enough but when I pulled back his foreskin (obviously he hadn't been circumcised) I was shocked to find a thick layer of green moldy gunk wrapped around the tip. Luckily it all came off in one piece when I literally peeled it away in the tub, however when it came above the water level it was just one large piece of green slime. I dumped it in the trash before I threw up (but it was a close thing!!). Poor guy didn't really say much - he couldn't as he'd already had most of his tongue removed - but on reflection at least I can look back and know I did a good job in that he was cleaner than he'd been in a long time by the end of my shift!!
Not sure what the grosses is. I have been thinking about this. Probably a pt digging himself out with a spoon and later we found out it went back to the kitchen and used again. Or could be walking a room of a 80+ male masterbating. Still yet it could be the many requests for oral sex. How about the one where a pt took a dump in the dining room. Writing on the wall with stool is another. My stories are not as bad as alot of you guys but I have alot of them.
Speaking of this, that guy-Mike (?) on Dirty Jobs did this on an episode I saw recently. It was the one where the lady had the sewer system for hers and 3 or 4 other houses back up into her basement. I have seen a lot, but that--almost--made me gag!
dsoginer
181 Posts
The worst incident I have dealt with changed my career path. In clinicals I could hear the homeless,double amputee that I was assigned to yelling for me. I went in the room and he had dug out his own impaction! It was everywhere and he was wiping his hands on the blankets. I threw up all over the place, so my poor teacher and fellow students had that to contend with also. I am now a Peds nurse.