What do I do now? Transfer or quit?

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

Okay, here's the deal. I have a nurse manager, and since she came on in January of this year, I kid you not, half the staff have left due to this woman. We actually don't have the bodies to staff our floor on some shifts anymore, and have to beg for help from the other floors. Often, the first response is, "SHE's not on the floor, is she?"

Well, my review's coming up. I've worked for this woman for a year, and I've never gotten any feedback good/bad. I mean, NONE. My charge nurses like my work, and I've had charge nurses on other floors actively try to recruit me to work on their unit. The only reason I haven't taken them up on it is feeling guilty about leaving my friends at the mercy of this woman, and our pathetically low headcount. Don't get me wrong, I'm in my 40's and I don't need petting or stroking, but I'm still a new nurse, and it would be nice to know if my managers think I'm doing a good job or a horrible one before I get to my appraisal.

I've been trying to stay out of her way, since I've seen her be rude and demeaning to people who didn't say anything but "good morning" to her, but this morning, I got cornered. I was doing some routine stuff, and she came up and gave me a gift card (hospital gives a 25 dollar gift card to the nurses). I'd heard from others how much she's "enjoying" this -- a couple of dayshift nurses said she practically threw the cards at them, and just acted like she hated to have to interact with any of them. She had a "I just bit a lemon" look on her face, didn't say, "hey, Merry Christmas / seasons's greetings / thanks for the good work this year" -- all she said was "sign here" for me to sign for the card. I asked her if she did the waive testing, or who could sign me off -- my first review cycle, I don't know. She asked me in a really sharp, angry voice why I didn't go to the skills fair, and, idiot me, I try to smile and make the best of it, I said, "well, I could go to the skills fair, or take my midterm, so I didn't go." I said it with a smile, gentle tone. I mean, she know's I'm in school working on my RN.

She snapped back, "There's no need to be smart about it, and you don't have to take that tone." SMART? What on god's green earth was she talking about? I answered her question. I mean now, I know I should have seen her coming, turned and ran. If I couldn't, I should have just never said a word.

Problem is, this woman is getting ready to do my review. I have NO confidence that she is going to give me a good one, she's never given me the first word of feedback all year, but I could see her gut ripping me to get more money for the few nurses that brown nose her. I've already talked to the supervisor on another floor, and she's seeing if they have a spot for me, but...I guess I'm disappointed. I do a good job, my peers like me, and several said they really enjoy working with me because they can ask me questions without me making them "feel stupid" like others do, and I'm sitting here with a knot in my stomach because of this one dysfunctional woman.

*sigh*

[caliotter3]

I gather from your post that you have had enough. No one should be this concerned over their performance and disposed to not even bringing up the subject with the responsible supervisor. Perhaps it is time to take up the offer of one of the other managers who seem to value your work. You've done enough on this floor and shouldn't feel guilty about trying to find a more pleasant work atmosphere.

[AirforceRN, RN]

What until your review and see how it goes...you might be surprised. If its as you expect, be thankful that there are other opportunities in the hospital for you. Remember...even bosses have bosses. Half a floor of nurses leaving in one year won't go unnoticed.

Just my thoughts

[Batman24]

I'd be out of there before the review. It's sweet that you are concerned about your co-workers but they can opt to leave as well if they see fit. It sounds like you are well liked and respected by management on other floors. I'd find the unit that interests you most and see if you can transfer there pronto.

[heartbeat2]

There maybe reasons as to why she is acting this way, sounds unprofessional to me and not a way to be an effective leader. You may want to meet with her prior to your evaluation and ask directly for feedback. A good technique to use is after you listen to what is said, summarize what you understand has been said to decrease miscommunication.

She may feel like she's not been welcomed or may be used to a different style of interaction...

It depends on what your goals are as to how to procede. Your job is stressful enough without the added stress of a negative nurse manager.

Good luck to you and your co-workers.

[lpnflorida]

I have only worked under one person such as you described. The only fortunate part. They only lasted one year before they left. We lost many good nurses during her short time above us.

I often have wondered, did this person ever grow and become an effective leader or is it the same in the lone star where she ended up accepting a different position.

[ILoveRatties]

I totally disagree with Heartbeat2.

This manager is a toxic person. To subject yourself to her verbal/emotional abuse is foolish. If you ask her for feedback, you are just giving her an opportunity to be the way she is. There is no indication that you will get a fair, objective eval from her.

Leave that floor. Go to a non-toxic environment. After you leave that unit, I would ask for an exit interview with both the toxic manager AND HER BOSS. Or maybe just with her boss. You have a right to give them feedback. AND you have a right to do this without her adding anything to your file afterwards.

It sounds like just sticking to the facts will clearly show what type of toxic manager she is. This feedback you give has to be unemotional, rational, factual. If you tell her boss that you are very concerned about what you have seen, to the point that you and others have left the floor, I think her boss will be obligated to listen to you. It's always good to make it a 'patient safety' issue--good to get admins attention!!

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

This manager is a toxic person. To subject yourself to her verbal/emotional abuse is foolish. If you ask her for feedback, you are just giving her an opportunity to be the way she is. !

That's why I haven't approached her. She knows her headcount is in the toilet -- we are actually missing 2.5 DAYS worth of nurses on night shift -- if everybody worked on one particular week, no vacation, no illness, we'd have to beg borrow or steal nurses to staff two and a half days of the week. We're all getting grief if we don't do overtime. With school, my availability is limited to 3 days a week (BTW, when I went to this woman and told her I'd gotten into a RN program, and needed to work specific days, before I could even get another word out, she snapped, "I hope you don't want Baylor. You weren't hired to work Baylor. You'd have to quit and reapply." I told her I just needed to work Th-Fr-Sat nights, but that I'd finish out the current schedule as it was. (I just didn't want her to schedule me to work 12 hours and then drive 42 miles to school, sit in class for 4 hours, and then try to stay awake enough to drive home). Another LPN who's starting her final semester in Spring asked to have a LOA/sabbatical for that quarter, and was told that she either worked full time or had to quit. So she quit.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Transfer.

[nrsang97, BSN, RN]

Save yourself the stress get out now. RUN don't walk.

[SICU Queen]

WOW, get the heck outta there as fast as possible - and be sure to request an exit interview. No one should have to work in that environment.

[meadow85]

I find it frustrating when managers are so behind the scenes and you rarely hear about how your doing until your performance review. And how are they supposed to evaluate you when they dont even see you actually working? And I especially dislike it when they dont communicate with you in person, only through a middle person, especially on things like job performance or changing your schedule around to float on other units w/o your approval ....