What is it with family members?

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

I had an awful evening at work tonight...not only did I run ragged all night, but a family member who apparently thinks they are a nurse in disguise, kept ranting to me about putting both her parents on antibiotics.

Now, we learned in nursing school about how people can build up tolerances to antibiotics that are prescribed over and over and that is what is happening (I feel) to these 2 patients. But I don't dare say that to this family member without fear of being fired. I basically just charted tonight that family member is requesting these antibiotics. The father has emphysema and COPD and coughs up thick yellow/white sputum...he gets neb tx's qid. I asked the family member what they thought about some Mucinex and she said "No, he NEEDS an antibiotic!" The sputum isn't green it is yellowish-white. Then, her mother has chronic UTI's...I suggested a maintenance antibiotic and this family member says "No, she needs another UA"...ARGH! I mean, really....which of us has an RN behind their name??

Sorry, just had to vent! (I ended up writing 2 separate faxes explaining all this to their doctor who will probably order another round of Z-Pack for both.)

Blessings, Michelle

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.

I had a rough night too. Fortunately, none of it had to do with irritating family members. Believe it or not, they were all quite pleasant. I just had an extremely busy patient load and was nursing by the seat of my pants, thanking all that is good that the JC wasn't there tonight.

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Tell what is the health significance of different colour sputum? Does the green show infection and the yellowish something like flu or pneumonia? Also, not to get off subject but a kid has alot of green nostril fluid (snot). Is this sign of infection?

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Specializes in Geriatrics.
Tell what is the health significance of different colour sputum? Does the green show infection and the yellowish something like flu or pneumonia? Also, not to get off subject but a kid has alot of green nostril fluid (snot). Is this sign of infection?

I was taught that green/thick/blood tinged accompanied usually by fever and abnormal lung sounds is infection. I was also taught that yellowish is usually sinuses and thick white is common in people with chronic upper respiratory conditions or COPD. I'm not sure about the snot question because my normal snot is green too and I'm healthy. If said kid has a fever, cough, green phlegm etc. then it could be infection. Check with your doc to be sure.

Blessings, Michelle

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Specializes in ICU/ER.

I can so relate--I had a family member last week insist on taking husbands bi-pap off and standing him next to bed---so he could regain his strength!!! this was at 0500. His sats would drop to low 70s as soon as mask was removed.

I explained now was not the time to have him regain his strength, now was the time to let him sleep and oxygenate his body.

She eventually started hitting the silence button on the bipap and removed his O2 sensor and actually placed it on her OWN finger so I wouldnt rush in every 15 min when she would try it again.

I told her it was my job to care for her husband tonight, and to please let me do my job and she informed me she has cared for her hubby for 30 years and to trust her she knows what she is doing.

After consulting with the house supervisor all I did was chart chart chart on her crazy behavior. Short of calling security to have her removed, I was not going to win that argument.

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I can so relate--I had a family member last week insist on taking husbands bi-pap off and standing him next to bed---so he could regain his strength!!! this was at 0500. His sats would drop to low 70s as soon as mask was removed.

I explained now was not the time to have him regain his strength, now was the time to let him sleep and oxygenate his body.

She eventually started hitting the silence button on the bipap and removed his O2 sensor and actually placed it on her OWN finger so I wouldnt rush in every 15 min when she would try it again.

I told her it was my job to care for her husband tonight, and to please let me do my job and she informed me she has cared for her hubby for 30 years and to trust her she knows what she is doing.

After consulting with the house supervisor all I did was chart chart chart on her crazy behavior. Short of calling security to have her removed, I was not going to win that argument.

Gosh, you can be arrested for getting in the way of a police investigation, wouldn't it be great if family members could be arrested for getting in the way of someones plan of care? That's absolutely outrageous. Every time I think I've heard or seen it all, obviously I haven't.

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Specializes in ICU.
i can so relate--i had a family member last week insist on taking husbands bi-pap off and standing him next to bed---so he could regain his strength!!! this was at 0500. his sats would drop to low 70s as soon as mask was removed.

i told her it was my job to care for her husband tonight, and to please let me do my job and she informed me she has cared for her hubby for 30 years and to trust her she knows what she is doing.

ask her if she'll be kind enough to intubate him too - no doubt he'll need that soon enough if she keeps up this crazy behavior.

sounds like both you and the op had a very challenging night - hope the next shift is better:up:

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Specializes in tele, oncology.

Whoo-eee, racing-mom, I'd have been one of those people to open up my big mouth and tell her that "If you insist on deoxygenating your husband and interfering with care to this extent, I'm going to need some clarification on his code status. Would you like us to intubate and vent him or just let him go when we are unable to recover respiratory function thanks to your care?"

Then again, my manager already doesn't like me b/c I'm a loudmouth who won't put up with bs...so maybe I'd have managed to keep my mouth shut.

There are many many times when I'm sure I need to go to the ED to get stitches in my tongue from biting it so hard.

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

i usually hate hate hate having patients with a nurse as a family member. but i have a pt now with a dtr thats been an RN for 35 yrs and she's a joy to talk to believe it or not.

her mom had surgery and has post surgical delerium that has made her dementia more pronounced. she's started crying, having delusions that people are trying to hurt "the children". poor thing, it's sad.

her daughter is trying to be realistic with herself but also being a normal dtr thats in denial a little bit.

she will ask me to let her look at the chart. she just wants to read the therapy notes and the psychology notes and look for med changes trying to be involved in her care. for once, i dont mind letting her have the chart at all. never once has she even bothered to look at the nursing notes.

she called me last night and asked me to have the NP and psychologist eval her antidepressant because the confusion has gotten worse since starting that med. i hadnt thought of that. she then apologized for "driving me crazy" and she felt she was trying to tell me how to do my job.

for once i was able to tell someone that i didnt think that at all...and i meant it! she's been a nurse twice as long as me and i told her i appreciated her helping.

it's just so nice to finally meet a not crazy nurse family member!!

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Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg.

Ugh...don't get me started on some of the family member's behavior that I've encountered!

I feel for you.....

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Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

I had a rough night too. Took care of my GSW patient who is doing much better. Anyhow, he had a CT SCAN at 8pm and I was running around trying to get ready so while waiting for transport I decided to change the a-line tubing. I had to peel off some silk tape from his arm and I guess his sister thought I was being "rough". (insert rolling my eyes). Anyhow, she vents about the tape issue to her aunt who vents it to my charge nurse. I'm like "Hey, i've been more that accomodating with visiting hours and I feel that I've provided very good care, she can get over the tape issue". The girl was also upset that I didn't allow her to go to CT scan with me. No, honey, you are not my priority the patient is who irritated me by throwing gang signs to his buddies in the waiting room. Yes, you genius, your GSWs are badges of honor. Anyhow, the sister apologized to my charge nurse and said she didn't want me to get in trouble. I told the patient that I'm not trying to be rough with him, just want him to get better. Never mind that when he first came in, I worked my orifice off to save his orifice. Anyhow, I'm not taking him back tonight.

Virgo I feel your pain.

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As frustrating as families can be and as annoying as it is to have them in the room while you're working, I fear we'll see much more of this. Considering the publicity about hospitals that make mistakes and harm patients to hospital specific patient outcomes being available on the internet, the customer is much more aware, nervous and demanding. They may see themselves as the only advocate that their family member truly has....unless, you can change that perception. Being proactive in building relationships with patients and families, involving the family in small things related to the patient's care and showing that you respect their concerns will be more helpful, in the long run. You can't control every situation but you have total control in how you react to it. You can take the power or give your power away. When you get angry and sarcastic with families, you are making the issue personal and you have given them your power. Kindness and tolerance are great attributes....even when your tongue is bleeding from biting it so hard. :)

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