What to do when coworkers exclude you?

mindofmidwifery, ADN · Oct 17, 2015

Just approach someone and say "I heard about -outing- and wanted to know if I can join??" Chances are they wouldn't say no.

I'd also be a little more friendlier if you really want to befriend your coworkers. Invite yourself in their conversations, compliment them etc

springchick1, ADN, RN · Oct 17, 2015

I don't know if it's intentional or not but my coworkers go out frequently to brunch, to bars, to football games, and have parties. They invite everyone from the pcnas to the older nurses but I'm always left out.... Lately it's been really bothering me especially since I'm in a newer city so I don't have friends around and I've been here a year - I've tried to be friendly....idk what to do. It hurts and makes me miserable at work too.

Maybe they assume someone else told you or that you had heard about (which obviously you have) and so they don't bother to tell you. Just ask someone.

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Oct 17, 2015

Start working on a Halloween costume, and get in the spirit. Ask someone who is the unit party planner where they go on Halloween night because you need a night out. Have fun with it.

Ozymandia · Oct 18, 2015

Do you small talk with them at work? Are you uptight? Ask them casually what they are up to tonight? It may be because you are new.

Farawyn · Oct 18, 2015

I don't know if it's intentional or not but my coworkers go out frequently to brunch, to bars, to football games, and have parties. They invite everyone from the pcnas to the older nurses but I'm always left out.... Lately it's been really bothering me especially since I'm in a newer city so I don't have friends around and I've been here a year - I've tried to be friendly....idk what to do. It hurts and makes me miserable at work too.

I'm sorry. That must hurt.

I always asked everyone. My co-workers would sometimes get mad at me because they want it to be "just us" My argument was that the new person may BE "us" and we just don't know it yet.

I mean, there are times the groups are going to be smaller and not everyone is invited all the time. This doesn't sound like the case here.

I agree with asking the most receptive person if you can join them.

Good luck!

llg, PhD, RN · Oct 19, 2015

Organize something fun yourself -- and invite a couple of people from your unit. For example, invite someone to lunch, or holiday shopping, or to a movie, etc. Once they find out you are a fun person and interested in doing some things outside of work, you will probably get included more.

e.g. "Does anybody want to see ..... movie this weekend? I'm looking for someone to go with."

guest114 · Oct 20, 2015

I can so relate... I have two per diem jobs and both of them the turn over seems to be pretty quick. No new people stay and its mostly the ones who have been there since the place opens... Even the supervisors are pretty nasty they make looks at me and I can feel them saying things when I turn around. I am very nice and try to make small talk but I am usually turned off by peoples attitudes or how short they are with me. I am looking for something different so I can have one full time job and get to know the people better. It sucks working all the time with people who don't want to talk to you or help you with anything.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2015

That sucks, I'm sorry. I wouldn't try too hard. Ask once, and if you get nothing, don't ask again. Make other friends and foster a sense of independence.

BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN · Oct 22, 2015

Ask a few people if they want to do lunch and holiday shopping...it could become a tradition :) Sometimes you have to put yourself out there. There has to be a few people you talk to, start with them :)

cdsavannah59, CNA · Oct 22, 2015

I am the complete opposite. I have no desire to go on social outings with coworkers. I prefer to keep my work separate from my personal life.

BiotoBSNtoFNP · Oct 23, 2015

Make sure they know you want to join! They likely think otherwise.

Be open about it and just say that sounds like fun and ask if you can come along next outing you hear about!

I know that's hard to do, but it will be worth it!