What can i do with my husband?

Equinox_93 · Feb 28, 2009

I am a nursing student ,about to graduate at the end of the year and I would like to work PRN on the ER of the local hospital until then to get more experience.When I told my husband what I am planning to do, he got very nervous about the fact that I will expose myself and our family to all kinds of diseases.Is no way I can convince him that I will be careful. Honestly, I can't promise that I will not stick myself with a needle,or I won't be around pt w/HIV,or other contagiuos illnesses.He said that if I decide to take the risk for myself is fine but that he does't need to take the same risk.Is anybody out there who was in a sililar situation? I don't want to quit my carer when I am so close to make it...but I don't want to live in fear that one day it will happen and he wil say"I told you so...":rolleyes:

... Did he have no objections before you went into nursing school? That risk is part of nursing- regardless of where one is working...

rita359 · Feb 28, 2009

We all have germs on our hands etc including your husband. Some patients coming into hospitals are having nasal swabs done for mrsa. You can't get away from them and neither can your husband. Have worked 40 years in hospitals, many a year before universal precautions were in existence, and no one in my family has ever been sick because of it. We have no guarentee we will never get sick even if we don't work in a hospital. What does your husband do for a job? I agree that your striking out to be more independent probably has something to do with it. He needs to understand that we are not guaranteed tomorrow will be the same as today. As a couple you will be better off if both of you have a decent income possible. Fortunatly, nursing can be done as much or as little as you want which is not possible in many jobs. Inform him that he could pick up community aquired mrsa and bring it home to you too but you are not shunning him becauseof it. Good luck to you in your new carreer.

allnurses Guide · Feb 28, 2009

Haivng a back up life plan is always good.

I know you said talking didn't seem to help, so I would try having counseling with your pastor, or a trusted mutual friend. If he'll go for professional counseling do it. Schools have support and counseling services available, and since you haven't graduated yet, it should be free.

My beloved husband married a nurse, and was surprised to find I made at least as much as he did, but it was never an issue. He died suddenly of cancer (4 months from diagnosis), it was my insurance that paid for his care. And it was my profession and ability to work that has supported our family, my kids were 6, 9 and 12 at the time. Now two are in college, one in high school, and we have no debt (except of course the ever present mortgage, lol).

I've worked the last 13 or 14 years in the ER, the most I've ever gotten in bronchitis, and who is to say that came from a patient? We do hire new grads as well.

God bless, and hope you and hubby work this out.

allnurses Guide · Mar 15, 2009

Hey Beatrice!

How's it going?

Any updates?

We're still here for you :icon_hug:

nurseforlife · Mar 16, 2009

He needs to be further educated. Most of the points mentioned above are very good. Talk to him about what it is he would expect you to do with a nursing career. He may need to have a reality check if you have your own plans. And your right, you can't make him any promises. Just like he can't promise you he'd never catch anything infection in a cab or elevator or wherever.

good luck

zenman · Mar 16, 2009

When I told my husband what I am planning to do, he got very nervous about the fact that I will expose myself and our family to all kinds of diseases.Is no way I can convince him that I will be careful.

In your job you know who has what and can take the necessary precautions. I think it's more dangerous if you are in a place where you don't know the dangers. Do you understand what I mean? I run around in foreign countries where I know what the risks are and are able to take precautions. When I come to the states, I'm really on high alert, lol!

lovehospital · Mar 16, 2009

In your job you know who has what and can take the necessary precautions. I think it's more dangerous if you are in a place where you don't know the dangers. Do you understand what I mean? I run around in foreign countries where I know what the risks are and are able to take precautions. When I come to the states, I'm really on high alert, lol!

:chuckleYeah,sometimes when I'm in the public restroom or at a store I feel more disgusted than in a hospital...anyway you should explain to your husband that it is not so easy to catch germ unless your immune system is weakened,or otherwise all the nurses would drop dead like flies in their first year of their nursing career.LOL.

Sterren, BSN, RN · Mar 16, 2009

He takes the same risks every single time he steps out of your house. How does he know that his closest coworker isn't HIV+? There's no way for him to know that. The woman who bags his groceries might have Hep C. The bank teller might have MRSA.

At least in the hospital you're wearing gloves and washing your hands like crazy. I feel better protected at work than I do at the grocery store, at least I generally have a decent idea of what my patient might have. Not so for Joe Public who touched that cart or dollar bill or gas pump before me.

I_LOVE_TRAUMA, RN · Mar 16, 2009

you mean you put in all that time, and your gonna let your husband decide what you should do? It may just be me (and my husband is very supportive of all of my years in er) but if my husband ever tried to tell me where to work, I would be laughing so hard while I threw his stuff out. I mean my dad hasn't told me what to do since I was 16, I don't need a new one now. And I agree with the other posters, it seems every other week my kids are bringing home something from school. I have never, nor have any of my co-workers ever gotten sick from a pt, we go out of our way to protect from that. My sister however who is a teacher, contantly has some new virus or rash. Remember, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!

herecomestrouble · Mar 17, 2009

you got some great advice from everybody so I'm not going to give you any more....but I'd like to say this.

quote"He takes the same risks every single time he steps out of your house. How does he know that his closest coworker isn't HIV+? There's no way for him to know that. The woman who bags his groceries might have Hep C. The bank teller might have MRSA."unquote

this is just one example of what I'm talking about,I don't mean to be picking on you.

Why is everyone lumping HIV in with MRSA,c-diff,TB,colds and the flu?HIV can only be spread through blood-OK possible in a hospital setting but that's why we use universal precautions isn't it?-semen,lady partsl fluids and breast milk.While the others can be spread by touching things with dirty hands,coughing etc.It really has no effect on any of us if the woman bagging our groceries has HIV.

Just a reminder from your friendly,neighborhood HIV+ nurse (no I didn't get from my job)

take care

Terry

j_audrey · Mar 17, 2009

This thread scares me. I know my Hubby hates that I am in school and is always making the comment that I am going to leave him once I am financially independent. It bothers me, but I figure his insecurities are his, and he's going to have to deal with them. (Although, having been in my job for 7 years, I make almost what a new grad nurse makes now working on the back end, sooo... he's a little silly) I'm gone a lot now between full time work and school, and he hates that too, and nursing school proper is not any better... so I'm up a not so sweet smelling creek either way. What do you do? LOL

Take him to marriage counseling, but he has to work through his fears eventually. It's going to be no different where ever you work.

Good Luck!

stinger530 · Mar 17, 2009

I ran into some of the same kinds of comments when I was a new nurse working with dying patients. "Aren't you worried about getting HIV from your patients?" was the question. "I don't plan on having unprotected sex with my patients or any other kind!" was my answer. Universal precautions are just that. Universal. I take a flu shot every yearand practice Universal Precautions with every patient every time. When I get home I leave my shoes outside and take a shower. During my work day I wear gloves at the appropriate times and wash my hands before and after each patient encounter. I avoid touching my face at all times because the eyes are the most common place that cold viruses enter the body. I am almost never sick. Can't remember the last time I had a cold. I am healthier now than before I went to nursing school. I really do believe that you are at more risk grocery shopping than you are going to work in the hospital. Your husband, as a police officer is probably exposed to more dangerous people than you are! I also agree that you may have issues in your marriage that need talking about. My husband (now ex) was able to understand and go with safe sex for six months at a time times 3 when I had to deal with dirty needle sticks on three occasions. He was less able to deal with my increased confidence and autonomy once I became a practicing nurse. Keep talking with your husband. His fears may be more complex than either of you realize.