What can i do with my husband?


I am a nursing student ,about to graduate at the end of the year and I would like to work PRN on the ER of the local hospital until then to get more experience.When I told my husband what I am planning to do, he got very nervous about the fact that I will expose myself and our family to all kinds of diseases.Is no way I can convince him that I will be careful. Honestly, I can't promise that I will not stick myself with a needle,or I won't be around pt w/HIV,or other contagiuos illnesses.He said that if I decide to take the risk for myself is fine but that he does't need to take the same risk.Is anybody out there who was in a sililar situation? I don't want to quit my carer when I am so close to make it...but I don't want to live in fear that one day it will happen and he wil say"I told you so...":rolleyes:

twinmommy+2, ADN, BSN, MSN

1 Article; 1,289 Posts

Specializes in ED. Has 18 years experience.

You know what, I get sick more often after my kids come home from school with colds than I do from work. And if I do get sick from work its from what the co-workers have had. Not usually from the patients. I would say go for it except for the simple fact that I think your dh is trying to say that he really doesn't want you doing this job. You guys have to do more talking before taking this step.


170 Posts

From what I understand, the odds of working as a new grad in an ER are very slim. Seems that most places require you to have at least a year of med surg experience. That is not from my own experience (I am not a nurse yet) but what I gather from reading around here. That being said, I think ER experience is great experience for nurses and techs alike. It's good to help you work on thinking on your feet, a variety of problems, etc. As for your husband being concerned about it being a risky line of work? Nursing is. So is being a doctor, a firefighter, a policeman, heck all kinds of stuff. The thing is, the people that come into the ER as sick patients are the same people that are otherwise out in public - behind you in line at the store, checking out your groceries, sitting next to you at a movie theater. Lots of handwashing, common sense, and a willingness to learn will protect you well. Best of luck!


3 Posts

What he really wants me to do , something in a private practice where all I am going to do is take the BP...after all the studying ...I will try to compromise maybe with a job on a easier unit..if is anything like that in a hospital...thanks for the fast response..

Specializes in Neuro/Med-Surg/Oncology.

Why are you compromising at all? He had no problem with you being exposed all through school. Now that you're actually doing something with your education he has a problem with it???? Like another poster said, you guys have underlying issues discuss.

Good-luck . . . . .:)

When I told my husband what I am planning to do, he got very nervous about the fact that I will expose myself and our family to all kinds of diseases

When you say what you are "planning to do" do you mean working in the ER or being a nurse in general? I'm not sure that there is more danger of exposure in the ER versus another area of the hospital, or for that matter the public in general. As long as you take all the proper precautions while at work, and are careful with what you bring home (not wearing your work shoes to walk across your carpet for example) I'm not sure it's much worse than sitting on a crowded airplane or in a movie theater.

If he's concerned about you becoming a nurse in general, why is waiting until right before graduation to voice these concerns? Or has it been an uphill battle the whole way?

Kim :smilecoffeecup:

Specializes in ER. Has 1 years experience.

I've got two points...

First, all those "sick and infected" patients in the ER will get admitted somewhere, and when they're not in the hospital, they are out in the community, going to clinics and doctors offices. You will have contact with contagious people wherever you are. . .

I'm going to preface my second point with a disclaimer...I don't know you, your husband, or your relationship. This is a very general statement, so take it with a grain of salt....

Recently finishing nursing school myself, and being on these boards, I see alot of women whose husbands were initially suportive of them going to school, and then suddenly realize that their spouse is no longer financially dependent on them, no longer running the family 24/7, and the husbands tend to pull a very controlling guilt trip on them. Two marriages in my nursing school of 30 students broke up while we were in school. Really get to the heart of what your husband is concerned about...is it really the job, or is he feeling threatened by your impending independence? Just my :twocents::twocents:

Finally, I do work in the ER, a crazy, county, level 1 trauma center. I started as a new grad, LOVE my job, and have had nothing worse than a cold and cough that took a while to kick. Sure, I've seen scabies, HIV, HepC, TB, and all sorts of other communicable stuff, but I use common sense and universal precautions.

Best of luck to you!


222 Posts

Has 2 years experience.

I work on a med surg floor in a very busy hospital. I have taken care of plenty of pts that had MRSA, HIV, HepC and not to mention many other viral and bacterial infections. I also have taken care of pts with active TB. So no matter where in the hospital you work you are exposed. I do not understand when you went through all those classes and when you did clinicals in hospitals he did not get upset about that. Good luck.


1 Article; 463 Posts

Specializes in MSP, Informatics. Has 17 years experience.

You know your post is an interesting one, and hits home in some ways. My husband is a sort of germ-a-phobe when it comes to my work. he won't touch my uniform if its in the laundry.... I always take my shoes off before I come into the house, and he just thinks what I do is nasy with nasty sick people. I tell him those are the same people that were walking arround the Mall the day before they came into the hospital, and are the same people at the super market the day after they get out of the hospital. With their same set of germs!

Now, the hubby is a Corrections officer. And when he started, I was nervouse about the criminals he would be with. He told Me those are the same type of people you see all over the place in the outside world, that are in the outside world up until they get arrested, and they are back in the world once they do their time. No tag on their forehead to warn you. He said at least in the joint, I know that they are bad and to watch my back...

well, same with the hospital patients. I know what they are in with. I know what precautions to take to protect myself. Once they are out in the world....with no tag on their forehead saying.... I have TB... I have HIV... I am MRSA carrier.... those are the people you come up with face to face in an elevator, or are the ones touching your produce before you buy it....

Unless your husband wants to live in a bubble. He has to deal with germs everywhere. And apreciate the fact that he has an educated wife who can help keep him up on the best ways to stay healthy thrugh handwashing, diet, positive thoughts, exersize, etc.


447 Posts

In a medical/hospital setting, you have the tools to protect yourself. Gloves, mask, gown, scrubs, goggles and very powerful antiseptic agents.

In the community, you have nothing. We spend all day touching doorknobs, shaking hands, coughing and sneezing in each others faces, in confined areas.

When people finally go to the hospital, they are often beyond the contagious stages of the disease. (Depending of course on if it IS contagious or not, of course) Many infectious diseases have been designed over the thousands of years we have suffered them, to be most easily transferred from host to host when the host "still feels good". This ensures the survival and continuity of the disease. This is not every case, but for the sake of the argument that you face, I believe it is valid.

I have no advice for your hubby. He needs to get over it, or you need to have a good talk.

Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC. Has 16 years experience.

what can you do with your husband?

tell him to grow up


5 Posts

Being a "hubby" i can put myself in your shoes. I believe it is more about the fact of the money you will be making. It isn't so much the threat of independance but most of us have grown up in homes where the man was the bread winner and when your wife is making as much or more than you it can seem demasculating to us. All i can say is he needs to get over it like i did and see what contribution you are making to society and how happy it makes you. Once i did that... I went out and became a nurse too.

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