What Baffles You?

allnurses Guide · Oct 25, 2013

The guy who was in a rollover accident and ejected from his vehicle, sustaining multiple spinal and rib fractures and a small intracranial hemorrhage, ambulating the halls with PT about 4 weeks later and started berating her for the fact that the ER cut his jeans off him....and those were his favorite jeans. The physical therapist cracked me up. Her response was a very droll "This is the part where you start saying Thank You...."

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Oct 25, 2013

So I have come across this a few times. I am holding a straw to a persons lips and they drink and drink and drink and pretty soon they are waving their hands for me to stop. Stop what?! You don't have to keep sucking on the straw just because it is in your mouth. I think the universal sign of I'm done please remove the straw should be to stop sucking on it and open your mouth! I have had a few people have to catch their breath and make comments about me giving them too much! What? I don't get it.

It's the unspoken word here. The patient assumes you want her/him to drink the whole thing.

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Oct 25, 2013

So the hiccups kind of jar the turd into position and then it doesn't move at all?[/quote']
Which can also lead to TFS (trapped fart syndrome).

lilaclover6984 · Oct 25, 2013

When a pt makes absolutely no effort to sit themselves up in bed when getting up for the bathroom and expect you to lift them and grab and pull on you. Or they just lay there in bed saying I need to be up higher and make no effort to wiggle up and just lay there saying "pull me up". Or when getting back in bed after going to bathroom just stare at you waiting for you to lift their legs.

But then you see the same pt. getting out of bed independently and going to the kitchen. Ugggg

Or the 50 year old morbidly obese pt who lays there pretending she can't lift the water glass to take her pills and makes you pour the water in her mouth but has no problem whatsoever eating her stash if chips , pop and chocolate that she has hidden in her bedside table.

R!XTER · Oct 25, 2013

The visitors who expect all staff to know what is going on with their family member. Like this lady last night who wandered into fast track where I was covering and says "hi, I'm looking for my son John Doe" me- "ok sure I'll look him up for you. He's at room 26, if you walk out of this area and out those doors and aaaalll the way down that hall he'll be on the right" her - "ok thank you. And he is he allowed to eat?" SERIOUSLY???

Also the ones who give minimal info and expect you to know what they want. Like they guy who walks up to the front desk of the department and says "hi. I'm Jane doe's pastor." I'm like "ok and?????" (There are 150 active patients in this department right now, could you maybe tell me what you need??!!!)

SaoirseRN · Oct 25, 2013

The "how's my dad?" thing happens ALL the time. Well, I'd be happy to tell you how your dad is, but you need to tell me *which* dad he is, because we have a few dozen of those here.

FineAgain · Oct 25, 2013

When I was a swamped, over stimulated by work secretary...the families that would come out to the desk and say "my mom needs...". Who is your Mom? "Joan". Joan who, we have 40 patients on this end alone! These are the same people who come to the desk, not ringing the call bell because "I didn't want to bother anyone". You're out here bothering ME! Am I no one? Bahaha

Fiona59 · Oct 26, 2013

Hiccups can be a sign of an imminent bowel obstruction.

I've asked around and nobody I've work with (combined 653 years nursing experience) have ever heard this one before.

martymoose, BSN, RN · Oct 26, 2013

Ive had a pt have hiccup feelings from a pacer wire not in the right place or right mA's. Stimulates the diaphragm.

UnbrokenRN09, BSN · Oct 26, 2013

OMG I could go on and on with these haha....

1. People who can push a call light but can't operate any other buttons on the bed/remote, etc.

2. Independent prior to surgery, completely dependent after surgery (even when pain is controlled)

3. Family/patients who ask "when is the doctor coming by?", every single shift multiple times and will ask every single person who comes in the room as if the answer is going to be any different. Let's see....let me pull out my doctor-tracking device and crystal ball and I'll get back with you on that....

4. Family members who insist that the pt needs pain medication. You ask the patient if they need pain meds, the patient says no. Then family gets ****** off and gives you dirty looks and then tries to tell you that the pt really does need it but won't admit it.....really??

5. Sign in room says: "Your nurse will be in change of shift report at 7am and 7pm. Please refrain from using call light during these times unless it is urgent. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated." Pt hits call light at 7 and asks for a blanket/kleenex/coke/etc. Then is ****** off because "I called for that 20 minutes ago and nobody ever came in here!"

6. Family volunteers to stay with confused patient all night to "watch" them. Goes to sleep, pt gets out of bed & falls. Family member: I can't believe the nurses weren't watching him/her!! (Which is why i always use bed alarm & strongly encourage all family to LEAVE at night.)

7. Pt with NO veins writes on satisfaction survey "nurses weren't good at drawing blood, very incompetent"

8. Pt gets stents placed in heart and has history of COPD. Gets angy and belligerent when staff will not permit them to go outside and smoke.

9. Pt comes to hospital because they need medical attention. Gripes at nursing staff for doing vital signs, lab work, etc. Does this look like the Hilton to you?

10. Pt NPO for procedure. Continually asks for food/water and gets angry at you because you tell them they can't have it. Really? You might have to miss 1 meal today....don't think you're going to starve!

That's my top 10 list!

Oh wait, 1 more!

11. Pt rates pain at a 10/10....asks for pain meds and also food. When you come back with the pain med, they are asleep. Oh, and "the only thing that works for my pain is dilaudid". (Like I didn't see that coming)

bostonrnbsn · Oct 26, 2013

When a patient does 3 lines of coke and then comes to the ED with chest pain... What did you think would happen??

synjmom · Oct 26, 2013

Hey Ever Buddy! I have been a lurker and decided to join to have a place to talk about nursing because my husband said "Please find someone else to tell this **** to." This is going to be a long one, but bear with me. I will work at staying focused.

Several years ago I was working night shift at a Children's hospital. That night, as I recall, was one of those nights you wonder who you ticked off and want to know who you can give special treatment to in order for the hell to stop. Around midnight I accepted my 3rd or 4th admission to go with my 6 originals. It was a general med floor and because of that we got challenged all the time.

Mother informed me that when she was asleep I was not to wake her under any circumstance. She informed me that she was a smoker and would be leaving frequently to indulge herself. After more pleasant conversation, which included her telling me that I needed to get her some food and bring in a rocking chair, she left the room, perhaps to paralyze her cilia, or maybe just to spread her good mood.

It probably took 30-45 minutes for the pharmacy to send up the IVF the doc had ordered. I gathered my goodies and went in the room to start the IV and fluids. When I entered the room Mother was sitting awkwardly in one of the sleeping chairs, with a blanket covering her, but not hiding the fact that there was someone else under that blanket. And that someone was doing private things to my patient's mother.

I didn't say a word. Just went over to the crib to started setting up to start the IV. The mother was incredulous.

"Excuse me," she said in a testy, nasty tone of voice. "Could we get some privacy?"

For some reason this flew all over me and not in a good way. Perhaps I over-reacted. I turned around to face my patient's mother so that I would know for sure she heard and understood what I was saying.

"No, Ma'am, you cannot have privacy to enjoy your sexual interlude. I am your baby's nurse and I can't do what I need for your baby if I leave the room to give your some privacy. May I suggest you take your friend home and entertain him there while I take care of your sick baby."

She sat up straighter in the chair, and I knew I was about to get dumped on big time. Instead, she surprised me. She rolled her eyes like I was dumb as wet cornbread and in her haughtiest voice informed me that she DID NOT take strangers home.

I maintained eye contact and said, "Good for you." What else could I say?

They both left the room while I had my back to them doing patient care.

I've got more to tell you about this special parent, but I'll post those later.