Were you a bully in high school?

klone, MSN, RN · Oct 2, 2021

10 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

Sure, ignore them and hope they will gain insight before bullying the next person?

And you think bullying them back is going to help them gain insight? Of course not, they’ll just move on to their next target.

Emergent, RN · Oct 2, 2021

A forceful response to unprovoked bullying is NOT bullying. It is a justifiable defensive action.

guest1163268 · Oct 2, 2021

56 minutes ago, klone said:

And you think bullying them back is going to help them gain insight? Of course not, they’ll just move on to their next target.

You miss the fundamentals of bullies.

They are cowards which is why they are followers.

The premise is to scare them that there's a bigger shark that's watching them. It is never a solution to bully anyone which is why I hate bullies. I can't understand why anyone has to impose upon anyone about anything, so when I see it happening to a weaker person, it makes my blood boil and I have to step in. I scare them enough to know that the next time I will really be mad. I have to use my size for something.

Bullying only takes place because an environment allows it. If it's frowned upon with the requisite punishments, it wouldn't happen.

And I want to know in which instance in nature do you see another animal reasoning with a predator for understanding? You have to be realistic. We have a society of laws that only applies to those who can afford to utilize it. If you have the ability to protect the weaker, you have to use it. It's how civilization succeeded.

It's also one of the reasons I actually don't like liberals. You have absolutely no guts. Always keen on spouting ideas and regulating, but you never step up. Do you know why republicans abuse Dems and liberals so much? Because there are no consequences!

Part of my posse of friends are two flamboyantly gay guys. Do you think anyone would dare say anything to them? They would beat you into a coma and yet they are the quietest, most awesome friends. And extremely well educated and florid liberals! I respect that they stand up for themselves. You draw the line!

The British, supposedly civilized, yet ruled with a rod of iron and extreme cruelty!

maggie0, BSN, RN · Oct 4, 2021

On 9/23/2021 at 7:49 PM, Kitiger said:

I was called 4-eyes, but it didn't bother me at all. I started wearing glasses in kindergarten, and was often the only kid in my class, in my early years, who wore glasses. But I could see SO MUCH! ?

Kids look for something different about a person and point it out. I'm not so sure that this is bullying.

Pointing out the difference is not necessarily bullying, but excluding someone because of it, publicly mocking and humiliating them for it, and doing this repeatedly is.

maggie0, BSN, RN · Oct 4, 2021

I was bullied a lot up through high school. However, it would not be possible to bully me now, for some reason. No one dares to mess with me ! ? Wish I could go back in time and teach my younger self how to deal with people better.

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Oct 5, 2021

On 9/22/2021 at 6:43 AM, klone said:

On 9/22/2021 at 8:18 AM, Koalified said:

Some people might be aware that they were bullies now that they are older. Maybe you teased people for their appearance or maybe you tied someone’s shoelaces together or maybe you slandered someone. Fess up!

This is true. My daughter is probably the sweetest child when it comes to being around other kids, but if you upset her she’d get you back. Right before the pandemic her classmate had insulted her by not accepting a handmade gift that she was giving everyone. So, she acted like everything was okay at recess and then asked the girl if she could tie her to the poll. The girl had a dress with long laces fit bows in the back. Well, maybe the child wasn’t the brightest but she said, “OK, as long as you untie me”…we’ll, it got in a not and the bell rang and my child told me she left her there, thought she’d get in trouble, but her 4th grade teaching was dying laughing at the situation. Had to literally cut the girl loose. My jaw dropped when she told me. Then I laughed. Then I told her not to do that again because mommy didn’t raise a bully.

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Oct 5, 2021

I don’t know if nursing is prone to bullies. I’ve seen both types over almost 20 years in the field. I think a lot of us have very strong personalities and opinions and sometimes if they clash crud seems to hit the ceiling fast. I don’t remember too many of the “bullies” of high school. I did remember a few. One still lives with his parents and has never been on his own….only worked for family businesses or dealer drugs in the business back parking lot…..so he can’t be much of a big bully now 40+ and still in his childhood bedroom….

About 12 years ago I was pregnant with my daughter. Had a late night craving fir ice cream….the bully had worked there over 10 years earlier in high school and was still there.

I went to a rich kid high school where kids were given everything-flashy cars for their birthday, endless spending money, usually NO job or work ethic. These kids would bully those who didn’t have what they had. Sadly being given everything they wanted from a young age left them ill prepared for life and they never developed the skills to leave the family nest or get a job that they could not live pay check to pay check or worse. What goes around comes around in life I guess.

guest1163268 · Oct 5, 2021

3 hours ago, NurseSpeedy said:

I don’t know if nursing is prone to bullies. I’ve seen both types over almost 20 years in the field. I think a lot of us have very strong personalities and opinions and sometimes if they clash crud seems to hit the ceiling fast. I don’t remember too many of the “bullies” of high school. I did remember a few. One still lives with his parents and has never been on his own….only worked for family businesses or dealer drugs in the business back parking lot…..so he can’t be much of a big bully now 40+ and still in his childhood bedroom….

About 12 years ago I was pregnant with my daughter. Had a late night craving fir ice cream….the bully had worked there over 10 years earlier in high school and was still there.

I went to a rich kid high school where kids were given everything-flashy cars for their birthday, endless spending money, usually NO job or work ethic. These kids would bully those who didn’t have what they had. Sadly being given everything they wanted from a young age left them ill prepared for life and they never developed the skills to leave the family nest or get a job that they could not live pay check to pay check or worse. What goes around comes around in life I guess.

Not all of us were given fancy cars in high school. I worked for mine cleaning my father's office after hours and picked up a few contracts in the same building through networking and hired a few people.

You would be surprised that the same skills, vacuum cleaner and cleaning supplies work in so many different places ?? if you just drag it behind you or get a shopping trolley to put them in about a week later. It was like picking up money!

The parents did put me under their car insurance though.

kbrn2002, ADN, RN · Oct 5, 2021

I don't think nursing attracts bullies anymore than any other profession. I've run into a couple of true bullies in 25+ years of nursing so considering the number of nurses I've worked with that's not very many.

To get to your topic though, no I wasn't a bully in high school. Met a few of course and for the most part just avoided them and the group that followed them. There are more bullies in school than out in the adult world though, kids can be real jerks!

I live fairly close to a community going through a "student misconduct" situation right now that caused the football program to be suspended for the year. Nobody is officially saying anything about it yet as the incident is under investigation and there are minors involved but from what the other students are saying on social media the situation rises well above your standard bullying/hazing and I fully expect charges to be filed when the investigation is complete.

That's the kind of bullying that can and does change a person for life. Both for the unfortunate victim and for the bullies who have potentially ruined any chance at the normal productive adulthood they could have otherwise expected through their stupid actions as a teen. These are normal, middle class kids from a small middle class town who for some unknown reason decided to do something horrible to another student that will have repercussions that last well beyond their high school years.

LibraNurse27, BSN, RN · Oct 5, 2021

1 hour ago, kbrn2002 said:

the situation rises well above your standard bullying/hazing and I fully expect charges to be filed when the investigation is complete.

I'm glad things have changed and severe incidents are sometimes even being prosecuted. At the senior prom in my high school a drunk/unconscious girl was raped by 5 different boys, and they filmed it. She was traumatized and never returned to school, I think finished online or at the continuation school. Nothing happened to the boys. All wealthy, white, from high powered families who did everything to make sure they could still go to good colleges. My high school had a great reputation, in a wealthy area, many students went to the Ivy leagues, blah blah.

Turns out so many things were swept under the rug. My Spanish teacher (female) is being investigated for sleeping with multiple 15-17 year old boys. It's a messy investigation because while there is a lot of evidence, some of the boys say it was consensual and they are not harmed. Others say they were too young to know what they were consenting to and now they feel regrets. The school knew about the allegations years ago, but their response was to promote her to vice principal, then a district administrator!

NurseSpeedy, ADN, LPN, RN · Oct 5, 2021

12 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

Not all of us were given fancy cars in high school. I worked for mine cleaning my father's office after hours and picked up a few contracts in the same building through networking and hired a few people.

You would be surprised that the same skills, vacuum cleaner and cleaning supplies work in so many different places ?? if you just drag it behind you or get a shopping trolley to put them in about a week later. It was like picking up money!

The parents did put me under their car insurance though.

Heck I know my car wasn’t fancy. I had to spend 15 minutes preheating then engine on cold mornings-which I wouldn’t call my are cold-ever….or the engine would stall. Then in the heat I would have to start using the heat to cool the engine. I bought myself the car from hell. Then it’s transmission decided to crap out on the highway. No cell phone back then. Luckily I found a pay phone not far away. The thing never went over 50 mph. Then it was dead. Cost $200 a month for insurance back then. And that was just for liability.
Then I bought a new, cheaper gas efficient car of that time when I turned 18. Since I was working two jobs in high school to beat the labor laws I had a down payment and my dad saw I could definitely hold a job so he co-signed for the loan. I needed a reliable vehicle for college and the only way I was getting there was by car so I needed it because public transport here is practically nonexistent. It kept my interest rate low rather than be crucified by it just because I was too young to have a credit history. I wasn’t going with another junker after the last one. That think was the worst.

guest1163268 · Oct 5, 2021

26 minutes ago, NurseSpeedy said:

Heck I know my car wasn’t fancy. I had to spend 15 minutes preheating then engine on cold mornings-which I wouldn’t call my are cold-ever….or the engine would stall. Then in the heat I would have to start using the heat to cool the engine. I bought myself the car from hell. Then it’s transmission decided to crap out on the highway. No cell phone back then. Luckily I found a pay phone not far away. The thing never went over 50 mph. Then it was dead. Cost $200 a month for insurance back then. And that was just for liability.
Then I bought a new, cheaper gas efficient car of that time when I turned 18. Since I was working two jobs in high school to beat the labor laws I had a down payment and my dad saw I could definitely hold a job so he co-signed for the loan. I needed a reliable vehicle for college and the only way I was getting there was by car so I needed it because public transport here is practically nonexistent. It kept my interest rate low rather than be crucified by it just because I was too young to have a credit history. I wasn’t going with another junker after the last one. That think was the worst.

I have always bought stick shift cars so there never was a problem with reliability or fuel economy. And I always stuck to Hondas, Nissans and Toyotas. Plus I learned early how to fix them because my Dad was pretty handy.

Everyone was taught how to drive stick shift before being allowed into an automatic.

I also always tried to negotiate payments for cash. I had six contracts in that building and only my Dad insisted on paying by check and doing it all legal. He was afraid of doing anything wrong because of his law license. Yeah, my parents were really uptight except for their mercenary oldest daughter. Seriously man, something has to be done about fathers and daughters and their being able to get away with murder!