First off, a disclaimer: I am not attempting to condone any activity as described herein. However....
I had a 90 year old patient when asking the "usual" triage questions "Do you use illegal (street) drugs" answer wholeheartedly...."why yes I do young lady. I will not give up my bong". When attempting to hide my slight grin, patient states "do you find that shocking young lady?" To which I replied, "the only thing I am shocked at is that you called me a young lady, twice. THAT made my day, thank you!"
Another one that comes to mind is the couple came in as apparently, certain medical insurances only pay for one Viagra a week. That was just not cutting it....and do we give them out in the ED? (
People are just really, really humorous!! Got any to share?
Specializes in Addictions, psych, corrections, transfers.
Tonight I just had an mentally unstable African Americam gentleman respond to the question, "Do you have any allergies to food or medication?" The answer, "Yeah, I'm allergic racist white people like you." So, does that count as a food allergy or a drug allergy?
This is more of a gripe, but when I'm doing intake on a new pt and it goes like this:
Me: are you allergic to any medications?
Pt: No. Just penicillin, aspirin, and codeine.
Me (internally): then why did you say no?
I had a new pt last month, and getting to social history I ask if they smoke. One new pt answered yes, when I asked how many cigarettes they said they don't smoke cigarettes, I asked how many cigars, they said they don't smoke cigars but they do smoke marijuana every day. We're in a state where it's illegal, so I wasn't expecting such an honest answer!
Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
This is more of a gripe, but when I'm doing intake on a new pt and it goes like this:
Me: are you allergic to any medications?
Pt: No. Just penicillin, aspirin, and codeine.
Me (internally): then why did you say no?
I had a new pt last month, and getting to social history I ask if they smoke. One new pt answered yes, when I asked how many cigarettes they said they don't smoke cigarettes, I asked how many cigars, they said they don't smoke cigars but they do smoke marijuana every day. We're in a state where it's illegal, so I wasn't expecting such an honest answer!
Or how about on their admission screen, they say they are only allergic to PCN (or Sulfa) but when you go to give them their Lortab, they say "oh, i'm allergic to that" So, you call the doc and get a new order and they are allergic to "percocet, demerol, toradol, and morphine" Never mind that the list of home meds includes oxycontin. NO, they are allergic to everything except dilaudid.
I recently had a pt (young person) who admitted to smoking pot, and proudly proclaimed that she smoked with her parents. And they nodded that "yep, that's right". Too bad we couldn't drug test the parents, because she tested positive for a whole helluva lot more than pot.
I had a bariatric pt. who used the bedside commode for the first time in days after surgery. He tries to get up with his walker afterwards and proceeded to yell, "I am stuck in the potty chair! It is suctioning my butt." We proceeded to grab four people to get him out of it.
angeloublue22, BSN, RN
255 Posts
Tonight I just had an mentally unstable African Americam gentleman respond to the question, "Do you have any allergies to food or medication?" The answer, "Yeah, I'm allergic racist white people like you." So, does that count as a food allergy or a drug allergy?