Was it verbal abuse? Y/N or maybe?

Nurses General Nursing

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  1. Can what was said be constituted as verbal abuse?

    • 1
      Yes
    • 88
      No
    • 1
      Possibly

90 members have participated

Hello, first time poster here.

I've been at my current job for over a week now. I'm eve shift at an LTC. While administering HS insulin to a resident, she frowned and asked, "Why are you guys always poking me?" I explained that I'm giving a long acting insulin to keep her sugars down. She asked why it was so important as to keep poking her with needles. I told her that, if left untreated, it can lead to poor health and effect eyesight. She nodded her head - I bid her goodnight and left.

I'm wondering if this could be considered verbal abuse.

The next day, this resident approached me and said "I'm going to tell my son you said I'll lose my eyesight." I asked what she meant - she responded, "That's right, I'm gonna tell him," and walked away.

I told my DON what transpired - she asked me to write a statement of what happened - and I did. So far, I've heard nothing from her son - nor that she told anything to anyone but myself.

I've been an LPN for just over a year. Looking back, it was poor judgement to have shared possible disease process consequences to a resident with (supposedly) mild dementia. This resident is fairly independent, and has been described by the faculty as "cantankerous." I'm feeling horrid because I don't remember the exact verbiage I used describing retinopathy. All I know is that I meant to reassure her that she was getting treatment to keep her healthy. Not 'if you don't take insulin - you're going to be blind.' I also know that intent doesn't always matter as much as the effect of words. I'm feeling guilty, and I can't quite place why.

Can it be considered verbal abuse if you describe the consequences of an untreated disease process?

OP, I understand why you might be worried about others' perceptions. I just wanted to mention that you can go too far with second-guessing yourself to the point where, for all practical purposes, you end up inviting others to do the same. I don't think you did anything wrong here, including mentioning it to your DON. Just the same, when you know (cognitively and emotionally) that you've done nothing wrong and yet (if you were to) repeatedly bring even the slightest self-doubt to others' attention, they will begin to believe that you either don't have good judgment or perhaps are emotionally unstable - - which may lead them to ascribe even more negative traits to you. When you know your actions were well-intentioned and correct, it's okay to just kind of pleasantly carry on with things and don't give others the opportunity to twist it.

Don't be afraid to kindly/gently say something like, "Mary, I'm glad you've been thinking about our conversation yesterday, but that's not exactly what I said...." then restate the information.

These things absolutely are part of your role - you did a good job.

Take care ~

JKL33 brought up good points. This is likely where any negativity could affect you.

I'm curious to know what the person who voted "yes" has to say to support their choice.

Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.
Thank you all so much for taking the time to comment. The situation looks more cut and dry upon reflection. It's bizarre, I'm not usually one to make a mountain out of a molehill. This particular situation bothered me because I felt a bite of guilt - and I cannot place why. Ad to it the fact that it happened just before my 3 days off - and I get to stew over it. Oh well, laundry and wine should take care of my overthinking brain.

Skip the laundry part, just go with the wine:happy:

Of course, it is not verbal abuse, but anytime something negative is said, that family members are not ready to hear, it can be twisted and construed.

My sad experience of being too honest.

You do learn to say less, rather than more.

Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.

This is definitely not even close to verbal abuse. It's not even unprofessional. I think you may need to practice the understanding that you can't control how other people react to you. You can tweak what you say for next time and adjust your education methods, but that doesn't mean you were wrong to give her straight up info the first time.

Specializes in Med-Surg/Neuro/Oncology floor nursing..

Definitely NOT verbal abuse. Part of being a nurse is to EDUCATE our patients which is exactly what you did. You didn't say anything that wasn't true and while I wasn't there it doesnt seem like you said anything in an inappropriate manner. Telling people the possibly negative things that can happen if they aren't complaint might motivate them to be more vigilant with their treatment.

Beware, I got the reputation of being a "Debbie Downer" for similar comments.

Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Rather than vote, I'll just say as a fellow evening shift LTC nurse of almost 5 years that you'll have lots of verbal exchanges with residents, some of whom are 'all there', others who are not, and rather than worrying about fine points, my main thing is simply to be as professional and polite as possible, and to not say 'comebacks' to residents, although I can't say I've never done so in highly-stressful situations, but even then, I tone it down as much as possible. (Another way to put it is, I've seen and heard a few other nurses get way more confrontational with residents than I ever do).

I actually saw a presentation on this subject today, coincidentally. In the presentation, there was a scenario where one of the elderly dementia patients kept trying to escape and wander the streets. Out of frustration, the CNA shouted, "If you wander the streets, you'll get hit by a car!" Somehow, this still counted as verbal/mental abuse, even though it was a possibility and was said in an attempt to get the resident to understand the seriousness of the situation because her safety was at a great risk.

The resident in OP's situation *could* have been implying some type of abuse. OP's situation is similar to the one above in the sense that the caretaker noted the negative consequences that would result from partaking in or denying an action. I think, however, you could say that it was taken out of context because part of your job is to inform the resident of the consequences that would result from refusing a prescribed treatment, and the resident also has the right to know why he or she is receiving a particular treatment. You literally answered her question that asked that, in a (presumably) professional and non-offensive manner.

Specializes in Pediatric Critical Care.
I actually saw a presentation on this subject today, coincidentally. In the presentation, there was a scenario where one of the elderly dementia patients kept trying to escape and wander the streets. Out of frustration, the CNA shouted, "If you wander the streets, you'll get hit by a car!" Somehow, this still counted as verbal/mental abuse, even though it was a possibility and was said in an attempt to get the resident to understand the seriousness of the situation because her safety was at a great risk.

Who was giving this presentation?

Who was giving this presentation?

It was part of an online training program that my company provides; I don't know who the particular creator of that software is.

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