I have been to nursing school twice already. Failed one time and starting again. I'm now in my second semester and I'm doing much better. My grades are at the top of my class. My problem is that I don't want to be a nurse. It's never been my dream to, nor do I plan on staying in nursing. It's all to make my parents happy, and I hate that they say how proud they are of me for doing it, but it makes me feel ugly inside because I'm not proud of myself. I want to become a graphic artist because it's what I've been doing all my life. I LOVE it! It's my passion! I've been working as a freelancer and I don't make a lot of money doing it, but I really don't care.
Unfortunately, my parents won't pay for me to get a degree in that because they say that it's not a practical career. I see what they're talking about because they want what's best for me, but I am miserable doing something I don't love. I've become depressed because of how I've been feeling my life is headed: the wrong direction. I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
What should I do? I feel like my life is going no where. Any advice? Anyone ever quit nursing school? What are you doing now?
This is your life, no one else's. do what you want, money is NOTHING in this life. Our parents are from a different time where money was really important, now? It's not.
FLY GIRL!!! Do what you love!
LOL.
Are you a parent yet? You may one day find yourself in that "different time" when money is really, really important. Especially when you don't have anyone else to bail you out.
Does your school offer counseling ? Do you have a place of worship ? Someone you can talk to or trust ? Maybe a family member or someone you could move in with while you think things through ? I get the whole cultural aspect and it may sound harsh, but its YOUR life, take control. If you don't know how, counseling or therapy may help. Good luck and do what you love regardless of who it upsets.
Don't quit! Please, don't listen to people who say you should quit to "follow your passion" or whatever. You're still soooo young, use this time wisely before you regret not finishing what you started. Finish nursing school, not because you love it or enjoy it, but because you started it and you should at least finish what you started especially if your parents paid. If you quit, they will probably never let you forget it for as long as they live. You don't want any regrets that will haunt you.
You may end up only working as a nurse for a few years, or even longer, or maybe only part-time, who knows. But at least you will have not let it go to waste! And you will have accomplished something successfully and you will reap the benefits financially.
Then you will be able to move out obviously, and do as you please. Continue with school, or pursue your true passion for graphic arts, etc.
We can't always just expect to do what we please in life, sometimes the more difficult or displeasurable path will ultimately be the most rewarding.
Your parents are smart in pushing you to finish nursing, it will allow you to earn the income you otherwise most likely would not be able to accrue as a young graphic artist. They are just trying to give you that fighting chance. And I believe they are right in doing so. Just stick it out for the next several years, the time will fly, and when you are done you will be glad you did it, and have the option to put your nursing profession to use.
Consider your life long goal to be that artist, or whatever that may be. Your nursing career can be the financial means. Unless you would be happy living pay check to pay check? You may be very talented as an artist and eventually make a very lucrative career from it, but that is a huge risk. Nursing can provide a "back up plan" if you will. You can finish the nursing degree as something to always be able to fall back on. You started it (twice), and I'm sorry to say this but I really think you should finish. That's what I would do.
By the way, the same thing happened to me. My parents forced me into a pre-law degree, and I hated it beyond words. I was close to quitting and running away at times, but I kept at it and finished the degree. I worked for 5 years or so until I realized I should find that career that "makes me happy". That's when I discovered I wanted nursing, and here I am at 29 years of age back in school. I'm still fairly young, and boy am I glad I finished my first degree. Despite not even using it anymore, I'm glad I finished what I started. It's a notch under the belt, I learned A LOT and grew personally from the experience. It makes my credentials unique to others, and I now appreciate the stories I can tell from my experiences that most other nurses/students don't have. But the catch is, I did not understand or realize this when I was going through it all at 23-24. Years later, I was able to have the foresight to create a plan to pursue a new direction in life (nursing), and I would not be able to live with myself if I had not finished my first degree, which I had started and invested so much time and money into.
I would say finish your degree too. I got my first degree because my parents thought I would be good at it. But I have never worked in that field. But having a degree opened some doors easier. I personally hope you never work as an rn. Follow your dream. Finish school. Get a marketing job. Learn the business side of graphic design while leaning the technical side.
Hello all! Thank you for the great replies. I've been thinking about it these past few weeks and it's a hard decision leaving home because I've grown very dependent on my parents. A lot of what I do now is based on my parents' decisions and not mine. I'm fiilipino/chinese and they are very adamant about comparing me to other filipino children who are getting their master's in nursing and why am i still in school when I should be there. They wanted me to go to pre-med at first and didn't want to because I never wanted to be a doctor so they suggested nursing and that's what I did even when I told them I wanted to be a graphic designer. That's when they told me that if I did they'd kick me out. I have a 10PM curfew because they don't want me partying or anything of that sort. I don't party, nor do I drink or smoke, nor do I have many friends. I'm almost always at home and when I do leave the house, it's every other week to once a month because they even chose my friends for me because they didn't like mine. I also never had a real boyfriend because whenever I try to, they nag about it until I break it up. I know that my parents are doing what's best for me, but it's been a rough 5 years since I started college. A lot of tears and sucking it up. I came here because I am scared of making a mistake and wanted to ask people who have gone through the same thing or close what their advice would be. I also want to try to better myself by taking control of my life, but I'm also scared that I wouldn't know what to do. I still haven't made up my decision and I am still in nursing school.[/quote']
Just wanted to say that I totally 'feel u'. I am also Chinese and I can honestly say my parents did (and still do) the same to me. I was treated like a baby well into my twenties. But it's not ALL bad. With their help I feel I have accomplished so much more than I would not have been able to without their support.
To this day, I have 0 debt. I have a 4-year degree, which let me have a successful career that enriched my life financially and personally. And because of my 0 debt I was able to pay for my own home, and have income property. I am now able to change directions in life, and nursing will be a 2nd career. I was also able to pay for a wedding, pre-nursing school, a car, and I will also earn my MSN. My point is there's no way in Hell I could have done this if I did not have parental support to save me from debt and bad decisions. I lived under my parents' wing at least until about 26-27. I live in California, and if I had to leave the nest much earlier then I'd probably still be working at the mall trying to make ends meet and in a huge load of debt. My point is, parental support is a HUGE benefit, even if you have to live at home a while, it is something to be grateful for. You are going to school, so it's not like you're some bum living in Mom's basement. Count your blessings. You are lucky. Don't feel bad. Don't let their complaints get to you. It's all about perspective.
My advice is, finish your nursing degree, then move out once you find a job. You are still young, you have time, just keep the patience. You will be fine.
Sounds like you could just use a break too. Maybe take a trip this summer. Take a deep breath and clear your head!
You are an adult now. You can apply for scholarships/loans. You need to pick a career that you want and will enjoy, or you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
Your parents are there to guide you, be your support system, but not dictate your life when you've become an adult. Although some will bow down and kiss the feet of their parents dictatorship skills they invoked in their lives, many of us are equally grateful to our parents/guardians who didn't parent in that way. Some of us who aren't debt-free from student loans are still able to buy a house, pay for a car, and work in successful careers of our choice.
If nursing isn't what you want to do, then don't do it. There was someone in my nursing program who realized more than half-way through the program that nursing wasn't for him. However, out of pride he refused to quit the program and instead graduated. Is he a nurse today? No, he didn't bother taking the NCLEX and never plans to take it. He chose a different degree and works in a different field. If you intend to stick with the program, will you even dedicate the few additional weeks to months to even take the license? If you can't even say "yes" to that you may want to direct your studies to something different.
Every parent wants their children to become productive members of society, so we all get why your parents are pushing you into nursing. But, I want to add one more thing...I personally know someone who is Filipino and was forced into nursing by her parents (she wanted to be a graphics artist). She hates being a nurse to this day! She's been a nurse for 2+ years and do you think it'll get better for her in 5 years, maybe 10 years? Although she's a working nurse, she still doesn't have the courage to change her career in being a graphics artist. She feels stuck in a career she doesn't like and doesn't know how to get out of.
Your parents are there to guide you, be your support system, but not dictate your life when you've become an adult. Although some will bow down and kiss the feet of their parents dictatorship skills they invoked in their lives, many of us are equally grateful to our parents/guardians who didn't parent in that way. Some of us who aren't debt-free from student loans are still able to buy a house, pay for a car, and work in successful careers of our choice.
If nursing isn't what you want to do, then don't do it. There was someone in my nursing program who realized more than half-way through the program that nursing wasn't for him. However, out of pride he refused to quit the program and instead graduated. Is he a nurse today? No, he didn't bother taking the NCLEX and never plans to take it. He chose a different degree and works in a different field. If you intend to stick with the program, will you even dedicate the few additional weeks to months to even take the license? If you can't even say "yes" to that you may want to direct your studies to something different.
Every parent wants their children to become productive members of society, so we all get why your parents are pushing you into nursing. But, I want to add one more thing...I personally know someone who is Filipino and was forced into nursing by her parents (she wanted to be a graphics artist). She hates being a nurse to this day! She's been a nurse for 2+ years and do you think it'll get better for her in 5 years, maybe 10 years? Although she's a working nurse, she still doesn't have the courage to change her career in being a graphics artist. She feels stuck in a career she doesn't like and doesn't know how to get out of.
[ I know that my parents are doing what's best for me...]
No they're not. Controlling your life to the point of making you miserable, denying you friends and a normal social life and making you follow a path that you don't want is not an example of doing the best thing for you.You are an adult. You need to start lving your own life.
Like I said before: there's support, and there's control. This is control... of a grown adult.
I'm surprised at the number of people in this thread who have seemed to completely overlook this aspect in the OP's life. Honestly, do folks actually believe this type of "support" is healthy? Any basic course in psychology (or Developmental Psychology/ Life-Span Development) would reveal otherwise. It's parental monitoring that's been taken to an extreme level, and has unfortunately spilled over into the OP's adulthood.
The OP mentioned feeling depressed about school, home life, and personal life... those a red flags. Please seek counseling.
You are an adult who can live your life on your own terms. Stop using your parents as an excuse to not follow your dream. Take out a student loan, get a job and a roommate & see what it's like to make your own rules. Follow your dream - you only get this one life - live it. Just don't have kids until you have 1 of some kind of degree - it makes everything more complicated. Best of luck - make sure to tell your parents thank you for their wonderful support.
Let me say to you what I *wish* someone had said to me when I was your age: this is your life & you are ultimately responsible for creating your own happiness. Yes, your parents will probably be angry but you know what? They'll get it over it. Please don't do what I did and waste years & years of trying to fulfill someone else's vision of your life.
Beyond that, if you have no interest in taking care of sick people, please do not be a nurse. Don't even try it. Having been both a patient & a loved one of someone who was critically ill, it is a terrible thing to be stuck with a nurse who clearly doesn't want to help.
Finally, your parents are straight up wrong about the career prospects for graphic designers. Graphic Designers : Occupational Outlook Handbook : U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics The Federal Bureau of Labor Statistics projects a steady growth in this field (as of this 2010 study) and subsequent reports by sites like Careerbuilder & Monster show that graphic design is a top 20 leader in growth over the next 10 years.
Follow your dream - live your life. Everything will be fine.
Whatever your reasons for hating nursing are, I too agree with many comments you have received here telling you to continue and then peruse your dream career.
You are 23 and need to seriously consider your future options. You need to figure out what it would take financially to live on your own to fulfill your ambitions in life.
You have stated clearly that you do not want to be a nurse and because of what I have read from your post and replies, I would not want you to become a nurse either; I would be ****** to see you trying to provide nursing care to me or any member of my family, or to have you as my coworker.
I do not sugar coat my words so I would simply state that you do not understand that you are blessed by having such parents.
No, please do not become a nurse; you are not happy here and are likely to make many other people unhappy in the future if you become a nurse.
My last suggestion is to have your parents read these comments and replies so they would speak for you.
JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP
1 Article; 1,863 Posts
LOL.
Are you a parent yet? You may one day find yourself in that "different time" when money is really, really important. Especially when you don't have anyone else to bail you out.