I have been to nursing school twice already. Failed one time and starting again. I'm now in my second semester and I'm doing much better. My grades are at the top of my class. My problem is that I don't want to be a nurse. It's never been my dream to, nor do I plan on staying in nursing. It's all to make my parents happy, and I hate that they say how proud they are of me for doing it, but it makes me feel ugly inside because I'm not proud of myself. I want to become a graphic artist because it's what I've been doing all my life. I LOVE it! It's my passion! I've been working as a freelancer and I don't make a lot of money doing it, but I really don't care.
Unfortunately, my parents won't pay for me to get a degree in that because they say that it's not a practical career. I see what they're talking about because they want what's best for me, but I am miserable doing something I don't love. I've become depressed because of how I've been feeling my life is headed: the wrong direction. I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
What should I do? I feel like my life is going no where. Any advice? Anyone ever quit nursing school? What are you doing now?
...I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
Please talk to a counselor. And trust me when I say, it'll get better. ((hugs))
Could the parents be insisting on the 10:00 curfew because the first time around she failed. Mom and Dad seem overbearing on first glance, but maybe they know their child better than she knows herself. And better than any of us do. Finish school, gets a job, be self-supporting and maybe mom and dad won't NEED to be so overbearing. Just a thought. Or tell your parents you are a grown adult, are going to do what you want to do with your life, and quit accepting their assistance.
Here's my 2 cents from a 36 year old mom of 3... Take it for what it's worth...your parents are providing everything for you, and paying for your education. Finish the course! 1) it will make them see that you are maturing 2) it will provide a good life until your "passion" pans out 3) you just might get into it, find your niche, and actually enjoy it!
My parents passed early so, I didn't have the luxury of mom and dad paying for everything. Savor this opportunity! Mom and dad might be old fashioned but they have a wealth of knowledge and experience. 10:00 on school nights sounds reasonable..weekends could be negotiated..my mom said nothing good happens after midnight, and she was right. If you just can't put up with it...enroll in your dream and figure out a way to pay for it. Move out, get a job, and somehow manage it all because its not fair to your family for you to have it all at their expense.
I have a suspicion that mom and dad provide a pretty comfortable situation for you..nice clothes, car, etc...I will tell you like I tell my own...if you like those comforts, they are yours until you graduate and as long as you reasonably abide by house rules..don't like it? That's cool, but be ready to support your self and turn your car keys in to me because I pay the insurance, and note every month... My teens are currently rethinking their plans to get apartments with roomies right now...I know it's hard to imagine, but parents are actually reasonable people when the case is stated in a mature way...believe it or not, I am willing to bend on curfews when my teen shows me 1) she's trustworthy 2) she asks politely, and reasons where's she's going and who's gonna be there, and 3) she states her case maturally and not in a pouty, entitled way...
Again, just from the perspective of a student who is currently doing it all AND a mom to 2 teens :)
I have been to nursing school twice already. Failed one time and starting again. I'm now in my second semester and I'm doing much better. My grades are at the top of my class. My problem is that I don't want to be a nurse. It's never been my dream to, nor do I plan on staying in nursing. It's all to make my parents happy, and I hate that they say how proud they are of me for doing it, but it makes me feel ugly inside because I'm not proud of myself. I want to become a graphic artist because it's what I've been doing all my life. I LOVE it! It's my passion! I've been working as a freelancer and I don't make a lot of money doing it, but I really don't care.
Unfortunately, my parents won't pay for me to get a degree in that because they say that it's not a practical career. I see what they're talking about because they want what's best for me, but I am miserable doing something I don't love. I've become depressed because of how I've been feeling my life is headed: the wrong direction. I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
What should I do? I feel like my life is going no where. Any advice? Anyone ever quit nursing school? What are you doing now?
GA is FAR more practical today than nursing, are they smoking krak?
1) you a filling a spot of someone who truly wants to be there.
2) You are potentially wasting your parents money by having no plans of practicing nursing or enjoying it.
And most importantly,
3) As a nurse, I am passionate and excited about my career, I feel so blessed to do what I do and I would absolutely hate to see a coworker not have that same passion. I would be horrified as a patient to have somebody provide care who had no emotional connection or passion for such an intimate, emotionally charged career.
-emerjensee
^This...Definitely this...
Sorry those who tell her to go to finish...there are FAR more people who keep trying year after year to be a nurse and want to be invest in this career, and the are starting to be FAR TOO many whose heart isn't in it, "they didn't sign up for this" etc, etc.
OP wants to he a Graphic Designer...OP needs to make the career path that is most satisfying.
Could the parents be insisting on the 10:00 curfew because the first time around she failed. Mom and Dad seem overbearing on first glance but maybe they know their child better than she knows herself. And better than any of us do. Finish school, gets a job, be self-supporting and maybe mom and dad won't NEED to be so overbearing. Just a thought. Or tell your parents you are a grown adult, are going to do what you want to do with your life, and quit accepting their assistance.[/quote']
^Um...OP is the age if consent...sounds a little on the attachment syndrome side...just my opinion.
I think what was said above is, by far, the best advice I've seen so far regarding this issue.
I'd like to add the following for the OP: please consider seeking advice from professional counselors - one that can help you decide what career path you should follow (based on your abilities AND interests), and another to help you deal with personal/emotional issues. What I'm seeing as the root cause for your stress and anxiety is your current relationship with your parents. A lot of folks here are saying how lucky you are to have parents that care - because they're providing a roof over your head and paying your tuition; but what I'm seeing (please correct me if I'm wrong) is controlling behavior on the part of your folks... especially with them imposing a 10pm curfew on their ADULT child. You have anxiety about discussing your future with them, and you're afraid to go out into the world on your own and start making real, adult decisions. It sounds like you (and/or your parents) have created a situation where you're just a dependent on them as you were when you were a young child or teenager.
It's great to have the support of family (side note: I wouldn't be where I am today had it not been for mine. They were there for me when I suddenly had to move back home 3 years after graduated from college, and had to start over; I'm now married, living with my husband on our own, and embarking on a new career.). But there's a fine line between SUPPORT and CONTROL. A professional counselor will help you sort through these issues - without the bias of they're own personal experiences/issue (e.g. "Oh, if I can do it, you can do it!"; "Suck it up!").
If you don't mind me asking, what's your cultural/ethnic background? Sometimes, this can reveal a lot about family dynamics.
OP I went to nursing school with a girl who was always into graphics and drawing. She graduated and got her RN and started working. After being a nurse for a couple years she found herself unemployed and decided to try her hand at art. She now makes her living out of art full-time (and is completely self taught even!), but has kept her nursing license active, in the event she ever does decide to go back into the nursing workforce.
Im curious to know more about the OPs family life. Have you ever told them that this is not what you want to do? What was the conversation like when you were graduating HS and looking into colleges? Also, (there's no way to say this without potentially offending someone), is there anything we should know about you either culturally or behaviorally that would help here? Have you given them reason to not trust you, or to doubt your ability to make sound decisions? We're you not at all involved in the decision to go to nursing school? And what has gone on with you between your HS graduation and now ((that you are not finished with college)? I know you said you failed once, but what else has gone on?
As a professor, I'm inclined to side with "team quit nursing school". If you were my student, and I knew that you had no desire to be there, I'd say "then stop wasting everyone's time". It is a great deal of work to do for something you don't have the passion for.
As a parent (of a young teen) I'd say "this is our offer to you, take it or leave it" (and by leaving, I'd mean if you don't like what were willing to give you, there's the door. See if you can do better on your own.
As a person (who is no longer 23 though), I'd go with the old cliche "life is too short to be unhappy." That is a very age-appropriate way of thinking, when it comes to careers. I was there, at around 21-22. I was not happy with nursing, I was not in the specialty I wanted to be in (yet). My father basically to,d me to suck it up, and that it's called work for a reason, and about how unhappy he was for most of his career, but he had a wife and two kids to feed. So I sucked it up, and I have absolutely no regrets. It all fell into place.
As for those who say her parents are controlling her: it sounds like they are. Parents are doing that more and more these days. But are you doing anything to stop it? Have you done anything to show them that you are acting like an adult, making good decisions?
SaleishaRN
58 Posts
Please talk to a counselor. And trust me when I say, it'll get better. ((hugs))