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Hello all!
I have been to nursing school twice already. Failed one time and starting again. I'm now in my second semester and I'm doing much better. My grades are at the top of my class. My problem is that I don't want to be a nurse. It's never been my dream to, nor do I plan on staying in nursing. It's all to make my parents happy, and I hate that they say how proud they are of me for doing it, but it makes me feel ugly inside because I'm not proud of myself. I want to become a graphic artist because it's what I've been doing all my life. I LOVE it! It's my passion! I've been working as a freelancer and I don't make a lot of money doing it, but I really don't care.
Unfortunately, my parents won't pay for me to get a degree in that because they say that it's not a practical career. I see what they're talking about because they want what's best for me, but I am miserable doing something I don't love. I've become depressed because of how I've been feeling my life is headed: the wrong direction. I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
What should I do? I feel like my life is going no where. Any advice? Anyone ever quit nursing school? What are you doing now?
How would your parents feel about pursuing a degree in business management? That's a practical degree, but one that will also help you in the future as a graphic designer. It can help you learn valuable skills that you can use to start and grow your own business.If you don't want to be a nurse, you should not finish nursing school. In the end, it's a giant waste of your time, and your parent's money if you don't plan on using your degree. Think about it this way- is it fair to your parents for them to pay for an education you know that you aren't going to use?
It's time to have an adult conversation. You're an adult, these are adult decisions that you're making and you and your parents deserve to have them handled as adults. Heck, Since I began nursing school I had to get a job (I worked as a waitress and at Subway- both just to pay the bills, not because I saw a future in them) in addition to going to school full time. I paid my own rent, my food, my expenses. My tuition was paid through scholarships and loans that I am now repaying. You certainly aren't the first person that has to figure out how to make ends meet without the help of Mom and Dad.
Sit them down and explain your feelings. Tell them that you understand they want you to pursue a stable career, but you also need to enjoy that career. Explain that, through nursing school, you've realized that it's not a career that suits your personality, your skills or your future goals and it isn't fair to you or to them that you continue with it. Then suggest another field of study that you may be able to compromise on (like business, that I suggested above).
Maybe even point out that it's really not as easy as they probably think to get a job in nursing right now. New graduates are often waiting a year or more just to get a job. Many hospitals aren't hiring and are even laying off. It's not as stable as you might think.
Finally, going into the real world is scary, but it's something that everyone has to do. I strongly suggest that you take steps to become more financially independent. Get a job- even if it's doing something like waitressing so you can have your own income. Then move into your own place. Your parents are controlling you because you are allowing them to. You are living in their house, going to school for what they want you to, and letting them foot the bill for everything. If you want to make decisions about your life, you need to take control of your life and start becoming more independent.
Good post even if I don't entirely agree with it. Certainly get a job and become more financially independent. No excuse not to be.
Deciding to what to say to your parents and learning to live on your own is not as scary as (select all that apply):1) Your apartment being broken into because you could only afford to move into a bad neighborhood.
2) Getting an eviction notice because you don't have enough money to pay your bills.
3) (Upon being evicted) Living in a trailer next to some guy with a hyphenated first name and owns a meth lab.
4) Waiting in a coin-operated laundromat (because your clothes may get stolen) and sitting next to a guy that has been staring at you silently for the last 35 minutes.
5) Renting an apartment with a room mate that failed to mention his/her heroine problem. Your valuable belongings begin to randomly disappear shortly thereafter.
6) Renting an apartment with a room mate that fails to tell you things in a timely manner. Like "By the way, I forgot to tell you, this stuff we've been drinking is a hallucinogenic."
7) Renting a cheap apartment with paper thin walls. You live above a 46 year old male that somehow enjoys singing to Celine Dion. The bedroom that is adjacent to yours is occupied by a 26 year old female who happens to be "a screamer".
8) You notice the guy that lives in the apartment across from you frequently speaks of business trips to Panama. He works in a vacuum cleaner and sewing machine shop.
9) Sleeping in your car!
I'm gonna take a stab that you're an only child. Perhaps your parents were somewhat older than your peers' parents. I don't know what to say about your school situation. Personally, I would most definitely finish your degree, even if you never work a day. Like others have mentioned, you have taken up two spots that so many others ( myself included) would LOVE to have had/have! From what I gather, nursing school is stressful for most every student, and since you indicate that you're getting good grades, I would not quit now. Finish the race. As to your parents, (Thankfully, this is anonymous.) you sound like me, only you realized about five years sooner than I did that in the real world, adults. (even young adults) don't put their parents' wishes 1st. From my personal experience, I will say that the controlling behavior (probably more so your Dad than your Mom) will only get worse, not better. I'm 34 years old...I was married for several years, went through a horrible (emotionally devastating--he cheated) divorce. I quickly entered into another relationship that didn't work out and I went through a lot...from someone whom I'd known most of my entire life. I do have one child from my 1st marriage...after I had my child, my Dad insisted that I not get pregnant, that I didn't 'need another baby'. At this time, I'd graduated college, was married, and paid my own house payment and bills! Because I didn't want to disappoint my parents, I never did have another baby. I always wanted two kids. I'm an only child, & as an adult, I feel like I have no one other than my parents. It's sad. I still won't cut my hair 'too short' because it would displease my Mother. When I was just graduating hs and looking into colleges/careers, nursing was my 1st choice. At the time, there weren't too many nursing programs around. Therefore, instead of encouraging me to do what I wanted (I should mention my Grandma was a nurse for over 40 years.) to do (nursing) I was encouraged to 'just do something different and go to the community college so you won't have to drive very far.' They wanted me 'under their thumb and I was clueless!!!! I can totally empathize w/ your situation. I have been w/ the man I'm w/ now for three years...my Dad has NO idea I'm 'in a relationship' because I'd better never get into another relationship again, or he'd be done w/ me...or he had better be dead 1st. I'm in my 30s and I can't communicate at all w/ my Dad!!!! People who don't grow up w/ a controlling, manipulative Dad really do not understand. WE do because we live it. My Dad cannot have a normal, rational conversation about anything that is not in agreement w/ him. There is none of this, just sit down and be honest stuff...doesn't exists in his world. People have told me to just tell him but it isn't that easy. I truly wish you the best and ultimately it is your decision. I have has decisions made for me since birth, and until the last few years, I've struggles severely w/ making even the simplest decisions.
As for the curfew, when I moved back home during my divorce (bad decision) at 30 years old, I was chided for having the tv on so late...it was midnight. My friend (girl) would call late at night on my cell phone and he would hear me talking, would come back into my room, open the door w/o knocking, and while I was still on the phone, he would ask me who I was talking to! Believe me, I could give many more examples, but I jut wanted you to know that there are a few people who understand how hard it is to talk to
Parents. BTW, at work, I'm 99% confident. I walk into my parents' house, and I'm back to being ten years old, having to ask 'permission' and I have about 5% confidence in myself.
Hello all!I have been to nursing school twice already. Failed one time and starting again. I'm now in my second semester and I'm doing much better. My grades are at the top of my class. My problem is that I don't want to be a nurse. It's never been my dream to, nor do I plan on staying in nursing. It's all to make my parents happy, and I hate that they say how proud they are of me for doing it, but it makes me feel ugly inside because I'm not proud of myself. I want to become a graphic artist because it's what I've been doing all my life. I LOVE it! It's my passion! I've been working as a freelancer and I don't make a lot of money doing it, but I really don't care.
Unfortunately, my parents won't pay for me to get a degree in that because they say that it's not a practical career. I see what they're talking about because they want what's best for me, but I am miserable doing something I don't love. I've become depressed because of how I've been feeling my life is headed: the wrong direction. I live at home, my parents control everything that I do, and I have a 10 PM curfew only because they are paying for school. I'm 23 years old. I don't want to live at home anymore, and I definitely don't want to be in nursing school. My other problem is that i'm afraid that if I quit, my parents will throw me out and I will be living in a world that's new to me. They've paid for everything all my life and I don't know what it's like to fend for myself. I also hate myself for not finishing school yet and that's also another reason why I stay in school. I also stay because I feel bad that they've paid for all that schooling. Not only am I depressed, but it's made me lose confidence in myself and made me insecure.
What should I do? I feel like my life is going no where. Any advice? Anyone ever quit nursing school? What are you doing now?
WOW...
I say to go after your dreams...I suggest to SHOW your parents what artists DO...from the clothes they wear, the house they decided to buy, the streets plans that they drive in to the cars they drive and the TV they look at with the commercials of the bran cereal they may want to eat lol.
A art professor made this declaration when my sister was in art school. We wee discussing this with my mom, who didn't believe that art was a viable profession...she didn't even think I would make it as a nurse...*shrugs*...well, my sister is a brand specialist (think about combining if with graphic design) and I am a nurse in the CC specialty. :)
Parents want what's best, but can never see the forest beyond the trees.
See if you can use that same anology. Graphic design is a career that is worthy just as any other career. I say go for it, be happy and satisfied in a profession that makes YOU happy :)
I hated nursing school and my first 3 jobs as an LPN .... but I found my niche in pediatric home care. And now I am in a LPN to ADN program . I wanted to be a doctor and decided to become an LPN to cushion me as I pursued my passion . Nursing is a great career that you can do even part-time while you pursue your passion . I wouldn't give up on it . My priorities changed with children and I am not willing to invest the time to become a doctor . I am happy with pursuing NP , at my pace . If you can maybe mentally decide nursing can HELP you with your passion I think you will do better . You will be able to get a job ANYWHERE and be able to afford to live in cool cities like LA , MIAMI , NY . .... Don't give up ! Get excited ! It's a great field and just know sometimes priorities change and have nursing as a cushion is something you will NEVER regret .
And seriously , I would give an arm and leg for parents like that . They love you and they are trying to help you succeed in life the best way they know how ! And they are protecting you the best way they know how ........ But honestly you have it made but I know you don't see it or feel that way . Take it from a woman who was a teenage mother , and had some horrible relationships and went through nursing school with a 3 and 4 year old . It's taken me a decade to rebuild my life . Education is gold my dear . Nursing is one of the best professions on the planet . You have parents who are guiding you well . Trust them and know in time you will be thanking them so much . ... And lastly .. I assume you want to be a mother one day .... When that day comes you will want to give your kid the world . Passion is great .... But as a mother you will have a greater passion to provide for your kids as much as you can and be there for them ... Priorities change ... Think of Nursing as a cushion ... Please please don't miss out on such a great opportunity and Hug your parents and THANK THEM .
If your heart isn't in it I wouldn't pursue nursing. Life is to short to not follow your passion. Time for a heart to heart with Mom and Dad.Doing something because someone else is pressuring you to do it is not a good reason.Doing it for the supposed job security is not a good reason either.Nurses are struggling to find work in many areas.
Finish nursing school. There are a million different things you can do with nursing. Let it be your "pay check" until your "passion" starts to turn out money. There are going to be a lot of folks who would tell you, "Don't go into it if your heart isn't in it." In a sense, they have a valid point. Part of the reason I say that is because you're not going to be very happy in nursing if it is not your passion. This is true. However, the way I see it there are only 3 options:1) you can be unhappy as a nurse and have the ability to put a roof over your head while trying to pursue the things you enjoy
2) you can be unhappy living with your parents pursuing the things you enjoy and hope they eventually pay enough money to move out before it's time to collect social security
3) you can change majors to something that will allow you to earn a living, make that "your money maker" until your "passion" starts to turn out $$.
I recommend #1. You can go with #3 but please make sure it is something that will likely land you a job and pay you money. Keep in mind, you can always work on being a graphics artist "on the side". If it is something that there is enough demand and satisfactory pay for then it will prevail as your career in life. If not, then do it as a hobby.
Just my 2 cents. Hope it helps.
edit: Also consider this (and this is really the point of my post): Yeah, you are unhappy now. But you're not nearly as unhappy as you are going to be when you try to live on your own making $25,000 or less because you neglected to learn a trade (that pays reasonably well).
I agree 100% with this.
I hated nursing school and my first 3 jobs as an LPN .... but I found my niche in pediatric home care. And now I am in a LPN to ADN program . I wanted to be a doctor and decided to become an LPN to cushion me as I pursued my passion . Nursing is a great career that you can do even part-time while you pursue your passion . I wouldn't give up on it . My priorities changed with children and I am not willing to invest the time to become a doctor . I am happy with pursuing NP at my pace . If you can maybe mentally decide nursing can HELP you with your passion I think you will do better . You will be able to get a job ANYWHERE and be able to afford to live in cool cities like LA , MIAMI , NY . .... Don't give up ! Get excited ! It's a great field and just know sometimes priorities change and have nursing as a cushion is something you will NEVER regret .[/quote']Couldn't agree any more with this!
And seriously I would give an arm and leg for parents like that . They love you and they are trying to help you succeed in life the best way they know how ! And they are protecting you the best way they know how ........ But honestly you have it made but I know you don't see it or feel that way . Take it from a woman who was a teenage mother , and had some horrible relationships and went through nursing school with a 3 and 4 year old . It's taken me a decade to rebuild my life . Education is gold my dear . Nursing is one of the best professions on the planet . You have parents who are guiding you well . Trust them and know in time you will be thanking them so much . ... And lastly .. I assume you want to be a mother one day .... When that day comes you will want to give your kid the world . Passion is great .... But as a mother you will have a greater passion to provide for your kids as much as you can and be there for them ... Priorities change ... Think of Nursing as a cushion ... Please please don't miss out on such a great opportunity and Hug your parents and THANK THEM .[/quote']Whew! Preach!!!!!!! I truly hope the OP reads everything u have to say. I couldn't have said it any better myself. I am a nursing student for the second time. Worked my butt off TEN years ago when I was single living in NY city to get into a nursing program. I quit two months into clinicals. Fast forward 10 years later. I'm now taking my prereqs in Atlanta. Am married with two sons. I WISH I had someone or parents to encourage me to continue. I had a bunch of pacifiers that allowed me to quit and give up when things got a little tough. Of all my decisions in life I only regret one. And quitting nursing school is the one ONLY thing I regret in my life. I'm struggling now financially trying to get by and still have a long road ahead but I'll be damned if I give up this time. There's no way I've got too much to work for now.
Exactly !!!! Lmbo ! Exactly ! If my mom wanted to pay all my bills and help me through nursing school I would be home at 9 instead of ten ! The young women mentioned she has to be home at ten .... I believe in following your dreams but you really do change into so many people before settling into who you are . And maybe right NOW this isn't what she wants but I just wouldn't throw away the opportunity because later she could love it! Hindsight always 20/20 though ... ....
veggie530
249 Posts
My ADVICE:
Finish the mission, soldier.
Use it as a paycheck until your "passion" becomes good enough to pay the bills. Passions often change, by the way.
Too bad you've taken up 2 spots now that others would kill for, but that's life. Finish your stuff and move on with your life. You won't regret having a great career to fall back on, even if you do indeed end up ditching it.
Let me ask, though -- is this program you're in BSN or ADN?
My REALITY:
It's painfully obvious you've probably already made up your mind. You're just looking for someone to make you feel better about a decision you are scared to make. [wo]man up, make the decision and deal with the consequences. You sound like someone who needs to get kicked out of home, to be honest -- you have tuition paid for and a great career to fall back on, but you don't want to spend 2 measly years of your life finishing it because you'd rather do graphic design? It honestly makes me sick. Your impatience is overwhelming me, darn it. Do you even realize the areas of nursing you could go into while augmenting your career in graphic design that are NOTHING like your experience in clinicals? Have you taken two seconds to consider the options here OBJECTIVELY?
You are sitting on a winning lottery ticket. A career, parents helping you out, and a way to fund your passion in life of graphic design... but you are looking for random strangers on the internet to validate your excuse for quitting.
I know I'm being harsh, by God and I mean to. Get your act together and act like a 23 year old young [wo]man! I wish you the best!