Want to be a nurse, just no butt wiping or other yucky stuff please

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Just a heads up to inquiring people who read this site. Nursing involves butt wiping, blood, snot, urine, etc. An RN by your name doesn't mean others deal with yucky realities of patient care.

Also, you will likely have to pay your dues job wise. You probably won't waltz into your dream job straight out of school. And, whatever job you get, you WILL work your rear end off.

Specializes in Emergency Room.
To the above poster: was the narc count correct when you left?

Yup, done every 4 hours!

days like today DO exist ...kinda like those M&M people and the tooth fairy.

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It's good of you to share this stuff. I would hate to get into the career without a reality check in the beginning!

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Yup, done every 4 hours!

days like today DO exist ...kinda like those M&M people and the tooth fairy.

"Santa...?"

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Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.
One of my long-gone repulsive fears was digitally assisting a constipated person. Naturally, in every patient group I was assigned (while I worked acute care after 17 years in psych and chemical dependency) was obstipated or constipated.

That first time I really got someone CLEANED OUT, with a bed pan full of steaming poop and half a box of medium sized gloves poking out of the poop like sad flags -- I FELT GOOOOOOD.

I didn't want to stop! Wait, just let me get that one wayyyy up there . . .

Now I always 'dreaded' disimpaction but once I got going . . . I had a dam fine routine. Just ask me. And those 6H enemas to get rid of bloating and gas? I was a natural at that, too. I loved raising that enema bucket and then -- insert dramatic music of your choice -- dropping it to the floor and watching those fart bubbles come roaring out. The patients' relief was nearly as profound as my own.

Another situation that I displayed innate talent for handling poop in all forms came when I was in charge a few years ago and was called into a room by one of the RNs. Her patient, an ambulatory man in his 50s was working through his gallon of GoLytely and made it into his bathroom just in time to bend over and shoot bloody liquid poop straight backward to splash the wall, the back of the toilet before he could get his rear end on the bowl. The bloody liquid poo was very foul, and the RN was heaving (and trying not to) and the amount of it that missed the bowl was considerable. I sent her to clean up the patient and comfort him, he was humiliated, and I set about to managing the mess in the bathroom. I felt like a G.D'd hero, people!

There is great potential in poop, facing it with courage; you don't know what you are made of, as a nurse, until you conquer poop.

Keep going. You're doing God's work.

...seriously this post had me rolling. My friends call me the Poop Whisperer because when I come to work, and have a constipated patient, I'll be darn tootin' (no pun intended) if we don't have oceans of poo by shift change. A moment of solidarity for Poop Whisperers everywhere!

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Nah, it'd just get tuned out, LOL...but seriously, what IS it that you do? I mean, in your REAL job? If you have one...?

LTC - charge nurse

Even if I am paid marginally less than what my acute care counterparts are getting paid, I can guarantee that I am doing a lot less work.

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Specializes in hospice.
LTC - charge nurse

Even if I am paid marginally less than what my acute care counterparts are getting paid, I can guarantee that I am doing a lot less work.

I completely believe you.

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Oh, I'm going to guess LTC.

It it may seem counter-intuitive, but RNs and LPNs in nursing homes probably go for longer stretches without doing direct care than our counterparts in the hospital floors. Likely because the nurse-to-aide ratios are reversed.

A nurse with a "no ADLs" attitude would not last long in acute care, but she might be okay in LTC.

She/he does claim to work in a SNF. I just don't personally believe it at this point. Too many inconsistencies and posts that just don't "sound" like someone who has completed nursing school and found nursing employment, if you know what I mean. But hey, whatever floats your boat, right? ;)

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LTC - charge nurse

Even if I am paid marginally less than what my acute care counterparts are getting paid, I can guarantee that I am doing a lot less work.

According to your own boasts of lazy shifts in which you don't move any more than what is required to get to a desk from the parking lot and play Candy Crush....it sounds like you do a lot less work than anyone who is actually a working nurse--anywhere. I don't care if it's acute or LTC; you are unique, if you are actually a nurse. I've never known anyone to be so proud of the fact that they routinely order CNAs and other nurses to do whatever he/she doesn't "feel like" doing...and laughs about it.

Do you find the same joy in sharing your work ethic on the Student Doctor Forums?

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I completely believe you.

I completely believe the "a lot less work" part. I disbelieve.....everything else. Because if it was TRUE, the embarrassment should keep anyone with any level of humility from bragging about it on an online forum, as though it were something to be respected and/or admired.

REALLY isn't.

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According to your own boasts of lazy shifts in which you don't move any more than what is required to get to a desk from the parking lot and play Candy Crush....it sounds like you do a lot less work than anyone who is actually a working nurse--anywhere. I don't care if it's acute or LTC; you are unique, if you are actually a nurse. I've never known anyone to be so proud of the fact that they routinely order CNAs and other nurses to do whatever he/she doesn't "feel like" doing...and laughs about it.

Do you find the same joy in sharing your work ethic on the Student Doctor Forums?

I am actually very helpful to the nurses working on the floor. They get to give medications uninterrupted when I am present. I tell them that during their med passes that if any assessments or any urgent interventions are required then I will do them. 2-4 years of education translates to being rewarded with easier work. I don't believe it is a good idea to go to school for a prolonged amount of time to end up working below your own level of education.

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Specializes in hospice.
I am actually very helpful to the nurses working on the floor. They get to give medications uninterrupted when I am present. I tell them that during their med passes that if any assessments or any urgent interventions are required then I will do them. 2-4 years of education translates to being rewarded with easier work. I don't believe it is a good idea to go to school for a prolonged amount of time to end up working below your own level of education.

Urgent interventions not including brief changes or other toileting needs, apparently, which to the patient, ARE urgent. And which, as a nurse, are NOT below your level of education as care tasks.

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Urgent interventions not including brief changes or other toileting needs, apparently, which to the patient, ARE urgent. And which, as a nurse, are NOT below your level of education as care tasks.

That's the CNA's job. Definitely below me or any other nurse to be doing that.

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