want to cry all the time.... can i make it in this profession?

clee1 · Jan 14, 2006

I seriously disagree with any nurse that says you need to get 1-2 years experience in med/surg before trying any specialty.

I am in LPN clinicals now, and my lead instructor is one of those types...

I fail to see WHY I should subject myself to the stress of Med/Surg, and the abuse of staff that is rampant in those units, when I KNOW that my heart is in emergency medicine. I eventually want to be an RN/EMT-P Flight Nurse, but and ER or Trauma Center would be OK by me.

Med/Surg???? Whatever for?

nursekrn · Jan 14, 2006

I know how you feel. I thought that I had type this thread. I have been a LPN (graduated May '03)for two years and graduated last May'05. At first, I like being a nurse in the hospital,but I was tired of feeling like I wasnt making a difference,stress out, and no respect. And then I went flexi because of school demands,and I began to enjoy being a nurse again. I had finish RN school and went back full time and started to feel awful, nothing change just my title. I end up having surgery a tumor removed off my ovaries. And become very anemic also (couldnt get much time off had to return quick,nurse manager calling all the time when am I going to return).I worked a couple more months and having panic attack , began coming to work late, abdomen pain, and taking it out on my poor husband. I just hated it. I last only 6 months as a RN in that Hospital and went to work at the jail now. And I love, but I am always looking for something better. Try something different until you finally find a area in nursing you like, and take it one step at a time you only have one life to live.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jan 14, 2006

To the OP. . .what are you doing to organize yourself at the start of a shift? Do you write down the things you have to accomplish during the shift? Do you have some sort of report sheet to help you organize your time? From what I read of your posts, it sounds like you are having time managment problems that just need a little tweaking.

JVanRN · Jan 14, 2006

I can relate to that feeling. I started out on a telemetry floor as and LVN and worked their for a little while as an RN before I went to NICU.

Just because you're a nurse, doesn't mean you are going to like nursing in any and all settings. While I did well in a med surg and telemetry setting, I hated it with a passion. I felt like I never had time for my patients. I became so wrapped up in getting my meds passed, charting and getting all my tasks done. Because you know if you fall behind, employers will have to pay overtime, then you get griped out for that. At the same time we are being told we have to get our patient satisfaction scores up, so if your patient askes you for a cup of water and a bedtime story, by golly you better do it, just be done with all that in 8 hours. Yeah right!

I knew I was getting burned out when I was groaning inwardly and becoming annoyed when patients were actually trying to have personal conversations with me. Can't they see I was busy?! When I started to see my patients as tasks to complete and not people, I knew I needed a new job. Did this make me a bad person? I don't think so. But if I'd let it continue, it was going to make me hard as a person and possibly a bad nurse. As a nurse you have to learn to distance yourself a little, or you can possibly become an emotional wreck. And sometimes you will get a patient that will want to chat and hold you up for an excessive amount of time. You have to learn a balance.

I didn't hate nursing, I just didn't like that particular floor. Nursing is a great career in ways that it offers many many options. Now I work in NICU and couldn't be happier. It's not easier so much, it's just different. Sometimes the pace is crazy and you feel like you can't catch up. Like every job it's has it's ups and downs. But now I don't dread going to work. It may take you a few jobs before you find one you like. You sound like a caring person, that wants to be the best nurse possible. You already have the right attitude, that alone is a big thing. Also (and this is not a stab at LVN's) as an RN, your options job wise will probably open up. There are LVN's that work in all areas, but often in hospitals they are limited to certain areas. Not saying I agree with this but this is often just the way it is. I understand that some hospitals are different, but I'm just saying in general. I know where I used to work, LVN's were limited to med/surg and telmetry and skilled nursing(even though task wise I did much of what the RN's did...probably wasn't supposed to, but with 38 patients and 1 RN, it was kind of expected...another reason why I was glad to leave that floor)

Alot of the overwhelmingness (is that a word :) ) is probably from being new too. Even though orientation may not be that long, the adjustment period can be a little longer. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Realize that you are only human. I think part of my frustration was I was trying to do everything. I was trying to be the nurse aide (because I didn't want to "bother" them) the nurse and trying to answer every other call light and beeping pump that wasn't mine because I didn't want anyone to have to wait for anything.

I hope you find a job in which you are comfortable in. Good luck! Whew, this is long! Sorry.

URnurse1988 · Jan 14, 2006

I left hospital nursing for the very same reasons that you state. I think you should definitely look into home health nursing where you only have one patient to concentrate on at a time.

Are you getting treatment for your anxiety disorder? Sounds like you may be depressed too. Have you sought out treatment for depression? :) You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of your patients. Good luck and hang in there.

RachelleM · Jan 19, 2006

If you get anything out of my reply it's this ... WE ALL GO THRU IT!!!!! Trust me, you're just starting out! I'm not sure i agree with all these nurses who are telling you to give up so quick! As a fairly new nurse as well i totally know where you are coming from. I am in my 4th year now and i can honestly say it WILL get easier! You did mention a very important key, time management. It is very important that you decide what is most critical/important during your shift. Unfortunatly a drsg change it more important than a blanket or ice chips, but that's the way it goes. You must tell your patients that you will be a few minutes before you get to their minor need ie: water refills. They are poeple too and will undertand if you just let them know you'll be back in x amount of time, and when they don't then they need to know they are not the only pt you are taking care of!

It's true you're only human, not super woman. But in due time you will develope the skills it takes to get through your shifts and still have your sanity! Don't give up! Hang in there and ask for help! We were all new grads at one time, just ask your fellow staff members for a hand.

ps i have done home care and worked in a clinic/office , they have their stressors too! You have to face your fears not run from them because they will catch up to you!

Good luck and hang in there, nursing is a very rewarding proffesion. U'll see!:)

smarkley · Jan 19, 2006

I was like that too...I worked on a busy ortho unit and I ended up crying all the time. I tried every shift on that unit because I liked the pts so much...but then I eventually decided I had to quit. I went to a counselor and got some anxiety issues straightened out, and started working in the OR. I loved the OR! The pace is entirely different. There is not so much one on one with the pt but you are the last person they see before they go to sleep, so you have to make them feel comforted. Now I am a private scrub nurse for a surgeon, and it's so hard for me to think back to the times that I cried on the job. I can't believe I let myself get so frustrated. I love my job now and it was the best career move I could have made. Stick in there!! :)

NaomieRN · Jan 19, 2006

I would get out of the current environment if I were you. It is not worth you losing your license. Look for another job during home care, even if it is less money than you are currently making. Stress is not good for your health in the long run. Stress is the main cause of many diseases. I hope you sit down and think about your license. Good Luck to you.

mtngrl, ASN, RN · Jan 20, 2006

well i am doing LTC now thru agency... but it seems i am a pill pusher and butt cream applyer.. notihing else.. there is too much work and too many meds to be able to give safely, IMHO.... i am a somewhat nervous person and don't like emergency situations too much and i am not big on colostomy/wound/goopy gross stuff a whole lot..... do u think someone like me could handle ICU... maybe i could do L&D.. or do lactation consultant eventually? i dunno.. i wanna stay a nurse i think.. but i don't want to feel sick and cry everytime knowing i have to go to work.... and scared to death for my license...
thanks for all your guys' input!!!! i hope i can find sanity... lol

You sound just like how I feel about nursing. Sometimes I just want to get out of it altogether. Yes, hospital work is awful...I did it for a month and had such horrible anxiety and depression with it that I couldn't stay any longer. And my husband had a low-paying job, and we had just bought a new house, and still hadn't sold the old one...but I'd rather be stressed about bills then hurt a patient! Please find a job you think you would like...don't just keep taking job after job....think about if you'd REALLY want it. I found a job doing contract work for an agency for mentally retarded. I go to the homes and such. I pick what days I work. No one is really sick, they just need meds or something minor looked at. It is not full time though. But I won't even apply for full time somehwere unless I really think I will like it, because I don't want to have a bunch of jobs for just a little bit of time. The right job will come along eventually. Good luck.:)

NoCrumping · Jan 22, 2006

hello everyone... this may be a long post, so to those of you that can manage to read it all and be able to give advice, GOD BLESS YA!!!....
Basically, i am a young LPN, working on my Rn, but i am doubting i can survive in this career... it's come to the point that i cry sometimes when i know i have to go in to work.. i get that sick feeling in my stomach and it doesn't leave until my shift is over......
i have underlying anxiety disorder, so that is no help.. plus i have had back surgery, so i can't lift,bend as well as the rest of ya can!!
i just feel that i cannot give the type of care i want to give in the settings i work.... i just got my lpn two years ago.. took job on a tele-med/surg floor and basically hated it.... everytime i asked questions i was looked at as the 'dumb new grad'.... and people just kept saying i ran around all shift aimlessly and didn't get stuff done in a timely manner.... the patients were fairly happy with my care, but it seems the nurses were only looking for my mistakes.... they'd say 'hey don't you care that mr. jones pulled his iv out?'.. and i had just been in that room ten mins. before and it was fine!!!
i just feel it's impoosible to keep up with all the meds and ngt flushes and constant ivpb abxs and patients going to and from tests all day long,,, plus all the new orders and heparin nomogram changes....
honestly, how can u guys do it all? i am not superwoman..
i want to be in a job that i can have time to hold my patient's hand or rub their back or hear about their concerns...
i barely have time to do quickie assessments and get meds passed...then it's off to take one pt to endo.... an other one is walking around with ot/pt so i have to wait to give them their meds...
maybe it's poor time management on my part, but i do not like running around all day long trying just to keep up, and barely having time to listen to my patients before running out the door to comply to the next pt's request for new blankets and ice chips...... plus when there is no aide.. i gotta get all the vitals and accu checks.....help turn/bedpan/wipe patients...
then if i am lucky i can get all my charting done........before finally taking a pee break at the end of the shift...
is this all nursing is anymore? just task-oriented? get the meds done.. do the assessments..... get the lab results/specimens..... get vitals... hurry and pass more meds..... rush a pt to a procedure....... stand and chart.. stand and chart....
i want to be able to do more.... but i feel i am not cut out for nursing..
sometimes i feel like crying when the family is in the room and they see me struggling to thread the ivtubing thru the pump.. or if i go to flush ngt.. and make a mess!!
can there be a place for me in nursing? a place where i won't feel my license is on the line every time i step foot on the floor?
a place whre i can rest my back... and my bladder?
a place where i can actually talk to my patient and care for them?
i am not lazy.. but i feel so disillusioned with what nursing is today.. i dn't know how you all can handle it...... may be i am too weak/sensitive for this field?
i do have good critical thinking skills.. i was top of class in nsg school... but i feel my skills aren't being used.. i feel i am just doing task after task.. and not having enough time with my patients to meet their needs..
i need a lower pt ratio or something....... this is too much work for one nurse to do.....especialy since i am agency and i need the money.. my husband has a low-pay job and i must be the breadwinner:uhoh21:...
i am so stressed about this...... i have to work for my family..
but these conditions are taking their toll on my young body and mind and soul...i am constantly in fear of making a mistake or missing something.. i can't relax on my days off....... i am grumpy towards my family....
someone please help me find what i can do?
i want to stay in this profession.. i only have six months med-surg/tele..
and about a year in agency doing mostly LTC.. and a little med-surg here and there..........i don't want to feel like a slave at my job and risk my back and bladder and dehydration.....i want to be satisfied knowing that i could take care of my patients.. not just say 'here's your pills/shot'....and that's it..
thanks for any advice.... please help this young nurse find a home....

This is my advice, and take on your situation......you simply dont like med/surge or any other type of medical floor. And there is nothing wrong with that. I knew from my first yr at nsg school I needed to specialize, and those floors was no the right place for me, simply because I *hated* it, and because of that, I was not good at it. I dont want to be busy. I want to be using my mind, skills. There are areas where you can do this. You will still be busy in most, but a different busy. A manageable busy. PM me if you want to talk, I am an *expert* in this area, so to speak!!!:rotfl: You can do neonatal , or, labor and delivery, icu, tons of things. You just have to decide what you can andle doing, and then dive yourself into learning that area. Dont worry, pm me, I *was* you!!!!!:chuckle

wincha · Jan 22, 2006

you have an anxiety disorder? have you had therapy for this or any medicines? anxiety disorder can also look like add ie poor organizational skills ect... possibly if you can get therapy and meds for this it might help. also you might consider getting a job in a less acute area. newborn? office work ect.... good luck. my daughter takes buspar for her anxiety

LPN2RNmommy · Jan 23, 2006

hey guys thanks for all your advice...i cannot afford therapy for the anxiety but i do take ativan prn on occassion..right now, with watching the kids during the day (or working, with them at the baby-sitter) and going to school during eves and working on weekends(if i'm not cancelled)... i am just feeling so frustrated... my husband isn't making enough to pay the bills, and i would love to just be home with the kids and concentrate on school without feeling pressured to work oh well that's my life....

there aren't any office jobs available, and i'm really getting tired of the nursing home setting (thru agency).. that is too much work for one person.. i'd like to actually talk to my patients, ya know? plus i also do the med-surg setting thru this agency.. and with not knowing the floors that well..it gets stressful. i don't want it anymore.... but like i said, there aren't any other openings.. L&D is for RNs only around here... so i gotta wait till i'm done with school to get my 'dream job'...... where else can i go as an LPN? no long-term care or hospital..... and home health is questionable.... due to me having a bad back and hx of back surgery.....

i guess i should quit being a nurse and go back to drawing portraits... lol.. as if i could make a living off that......