want to cry all the time.... can i make it in this profession?

[LPN2RNmommy]

hello everyone... this may be a long post, so to those of you that can manage to read it all and be able to give advice, GOD BLESS YA!!!....

Basically, i am a young LPN, working on my Rn, but i am doubting i can survive in this career... it's come to the point that i cry sometimes when i know i have to go in to work.. i get that sick feeling in my stomach and it doesn't leave until my shift is over......

i have underlying anxiety disorder, so that is no help.. plus i have had back surgery, so i can't lift,bend as well as the rest of ya can!!

i just feel that i cannot give the type of care i want to give in the settings i work.... i just got my lpn two years ago.. took job on a tele-med/surg floor and basically hated it.... everytime i asked questions i was looked at as the 'dumb new grad'.... and people just kept saying i ran around all shift aimlessly and didn't get stuff done in a timely manner.... the patients were fairly happy with my care, but it seems the nurses were only looking for my mistakes.... they'd say 'hey don't you care that mr. jones pulled his iv out?'.. and i had just been in that room ten mins. before and it was fine!!!

i just feel it's impoosible to keep up with all the meds and ngt flushes and constant ivpb abxs and patients going to and from tests all day long,,, plus all the new orders and heparin nomogram changes....

honestly, how can u guys do it all? i am not superwoman..

i want to be in a job that i can have time to hold my patient's hand or rub their back or hear about their concerns...

i barely have time to do quickie assessments and get meds passed...then it's off to take one pt to endo.... an other one is walking around with ot/pt so i have to wait to give them their meds...

maybe it's poor time management on my part, but i do not like running around all day long trying just to keep up, and barely having time to listen to my patients before running out the door to comply to the next pt's request for new blankets and ice chips...... plus when there is no aide.. i gotta get all the vitals and accu checks.....help turn/bedpan/wipe patients...

then if i am lucky i can get all my charting done........before finally taking a pee break at the end of the shift...

is this all nursing is anymore? just task-oriented? get the meds done.. do the assessments..... get the lab results/specimens..... get vitals... hurry and pass more meds..... rush a pt to a procedure....... stand and chart.. stand and chart....

i want to be able to do more.... but i feel i am not cut out for nursing..

sometimes i feel like crying when the family is in the room and they see me struggling to thread the ivtubing thru the pump.. or if i go to flush ngt.. and make a mess!!

can there be a place for me in nursing? a place where i won't feel my license is on the line every time i step foot on the floor?

a place whre i can rest my back... and my bladder?

a place where i can actually talk to my patient and care for them?

i am not lazy.. but i feel so disillusioned with what nursing is today.. i dn't know how you all can handle it...... may be i am too weak/sensitive for this field?

i do have good critical thinking skills.. i was top of class in nsg school... but i feel my skills aren't being used.. i feel i am just doing task after task.. and not having enough time with my patients to meet their needs..

i need a lower pt ratio or something....... this is too much work for one nurse to do.....especialy since i am agency and i need the money.. my husband has a low-pay job and i must be the breadwinner:uhoh21:...

i am so stressed about this...... i have to work for my family..

but these conditions are taking their toll on my young body and mind and soul...i am constantly in fear of making a mistake or missing something.. i can't relax on my days off....... i am grumpy towards my family....

someone please help me find what i can do?

i want to stay in this profession.. i only have six months med-surg/tele..

and about a year in agency doing mostly LTC.. and a little med-surg here and there..........i don't want to feel like a slave at my job and risk my back and bladder and dehydration.....i want to be satisfied knowing that i could take care of my patients.. not just say 'here's your pills/shot'....and that's it..

thanks for any advice.... please help this young nurse find a home....

[zacsmimi]

First things first, girl. You need to get a handle on your own life - never mind work. I know that sounds crazy, how can we get by without a paycheck, but you are on your way to a breakdown or illness or both and then where will you be? Get into the therapy! Thats a good start. Yes, plan to get out of hospital nursing. It is very stressful. Its not NURSING you dont like, its the environment you are in. Long term care would take you in a heartbeat. Yeah, its a lot of paperwork too, but usually a lot less pressure time-wise. It pays a bit less, but the entire environment is totally different. You DO have time to get to know your patients, and hold their hand. There is a learning curve involved, as always, but you can do it. When you are in the place you are in, wanting to cry on the way to work - nothing works. I know, Ive been there. GET OUT. Good luck.

[LPN2RNmommy]

thanks guys.... about the long term care, tho... i've been doing it about 1-2 times a week since last year thru the agency i work for... the residents are on wayyyy tooo many pills.. come on. does a 93 yr old lady really need calcium every day and multiple vitamins? heart medicines, diabetes meds, i understand, but my gosh.. these poor residents..i like the elderly but in long term care, and this may be my opinion, but it's too much work..... too many meds and a.m. bloodsugars/insulins to do... too many dressing changes.. too much charting.... barely get out 1hr after shift ends!! heaven forbid there is a fall, or frequent vs/neuro checks to do!!!

not to mention taking off orders and scheduling appointments and faxing things all day long!!!

it's like you're a nurse, housekeeper, patient transport, nutrition therapist, secretary all in one....

you guys may say i'm just slow or disorganzied, but nurses that are actually staff at the places i go (and they've been there for years) still do not get their morning med runs done till 1100am!! and they end up staying till almost 5 pm to get charting done!!!

i never have time to really get to talk to the resident or give them a backrub.. i'd like to.. but i got 3 foleys to irrigate... 8 blood sugars to check.. several other insulins.... 3 tube feeds and g-tube meds, etc....

why is it that ltc facilities need agency so much? think about it....too much responsibility for one nurse to safely do.... i am not lazy by any means but i want to be able to pee once in 12 hours and have time to drink something so i don't end up with a UTI!! i want to be patient-focused, not task-oriented... sigh.. i'm ramblng again..

so did any of u check out the stories on aboutmytalk.com? some of them are just awful and sad..

nursing should be transformed into a better situation for nurses and patients... i did a report on the nursing shortage for college, and 1 in 3 new nurses is planning to leave the field...!!!

also... 54% of nurses would not recommend their career to anyone!! it's just awful...

i hope the field changes to allow us to provide actual 'care' and practice the ideals we learned in school..... i really hope that can happen..

till then.. i gotta do what i gotta do..

hang in there everyone.. i'm trying to....

[pie123]

thanks guys.... about the long term care, tho... i've been doing it about 1-2 times a week since last year thru the agency i work for... the residents are on wayyyy tooo many pills.. come on. does a 93 yr old lady really need calcium every day and multiple vitamins? heart medicines, diabetes meds, i understand, but my gosh.. these poor residents..i like the elderly but in long term care, and this may be my opinion, but it's too much work..... too many meds and a.m. bloodsugars/insulins to do... too many dressing changes.. too much charting.... barely get out 1hr after shift ends!! heaven forbid there is a fall, or frequent vs/neuro checks to do!!!

not to mention taking off orders and scheduling appointments and faxing things all day long!!!

it's like you're a nurse, housekeeper, patient transport, nutrition therapist, secretary all in one....

you guys may say i'm just slow or disorganzied, but nurses that are actually staff at the places i go (and they've been there for years) still do not get their morning med runs done till 1100am!! and they end up staying till almost 5 pm to get charting done!!!

i never have time to really get to talk to the resident or give them a backrub.. i'd like to.. but i got 3 foleys to irrigate... 8 blood sugars to check.. several other insulins.... 3 tube feeds and g-tube meds, etc....

why is it that ltc facilities need agency so much? think about it....too much responsibility for one nurse to safely do.... i am not lazy by any means but i want to be able to pee once in 12 hours and have time to drink something so i don't end up with a UTI!! i want to be patient-focused, not task-oriented... sigh.. i'm ramblng again..

so did any of u check out the stories on aboutmytalk.com? some of them are just awful and sad..

nursing should be transformed into a better situation for nurses and patients... i did a report on the nursing shortage for college, and 1 in 3 new nurses is planning to leave the field...!!!

also... 54% of nurses would not recommend their career to anyone!! it's just awful...

i hope the field changes to allow us to provide actual 'care' and practice the ideals we learned in school..... i really hope that can happen..

till then.. i gotta do what i gotta do..

hang in there everyone.. i'm trying to....

Did you mean the site aboutmyjob.com? I have read some of those posts. Some of them are heavy. But, did you also read the ones from people who are stressed out with working at McD's, the ones who are stressed out with teaching, etc? I too am trying to hang in there, but it's getting harder and harder to do. I have also noticed on my unit that the nurses with experience are most of the time just as overwhelmed. One nurse even told me she's thinking about asking to go to nightshift so that she can actually have time to breathe. Nights gets busy, but with a lot less interruptions. Good luck with whatever you choose.

[LPN2RNmommy]

yeah people at mcdonald's hate their job and get stressed.. but at least they dont' have anyone's life or license on the line.. and if they quit or get fired they can always find another job makig the same (or more) money per hour..

if i lose my nursing license or quit.. whre else can i go that i can make roughly 20$ hourly with no other training than nursing???

i really dont' mean to sound harsh i am just sad and feel beat-up by the profession (or maybe just by myself?)..

i need to get treatment for my anxiety and depression.. maybe things will be better then, but who knows...

*group hug for all the caring but disillusioned nurses*

[zacsmimi]

i work ltc. i am always out on time. i have plenty of quality time with my residents. skilled floors are more busy, and yeah, they are frequently on too many meds, but you aren't going to find perfection anywhere. i work alzheimers and love it. i have a med tech - i do not have to pass meds - only narcs. out of 35 pts only one of them has insulin and none of them have g tubes.

keep looking... you may just be in the wrong nursing homes. you are right - if they are desperate for staff, they probably have issues... you will have to be willing to do more than just "nurse" but its more manageable than what you described that you do now!

[skittlebear]

i usually just sit and read these posts, but i really felt like i needed to reply to this. first of all, i do not think you should just give up on nursing. you are a great nurse...i can tell because you seem to care so much about the clients you care for. no nurse comes out of nursing school knowing exactly what to do in all situations, and that includes time management skills. that comes with experience.

as a new nurse myself, i know exactly what your going through. i just past my lpn boards a couple of months ago. i have a lot of anxiety myself, and being a new nurse stresses me out big time. it seems as though everyone looks at you to know everything once you have license. i just got a new job at a group home for the mentally challanged. i help take care of only eight clients. my job duties include passing out tons of medication, giving breathing treatments, straight catheterizing a few, and whatever else needs to be done for the shift. i am pretty busy, but i have plenty of down time to interact with the clients i care for. maybe this kind of job may be something you may consider. it has it's stressful moments, as every job does...but for the most part it's pretty low key. the pay is great too, better than a lot of the nursing homes around here. i wish the best for you! keep your chin up and have faith in yourself!!!

[synkitty]

Hi, well I understand exactly where you are coming from, it got so bad at one point that I actually had a break down at work, the Director of Nursing had to come in on her night off and fill my shift and they called the doctor to see me as well. It was truly horrible and I felt so worthless:o . I have now been working for a year since my graduation and things are starting to look up. I have moved to where I have family support which instantly alleviated a lot of stress, and I am now working casually. I'm not certain what your situation with the workforce is there but I am able to work less days for the same amount of money if not more, and I am always offered more shifts than I can take. Plus I don't have to put up with any of the inter ward gossiping and bitching that exists, usually based on whether you are in the in-crowd or not, just like at school. I can focus on patient care and really look after the people, ask questions freely, because the nurses never know what experience I have, and they are always helpful. I will say that I am in this situation mainly because I hurt my back last year and so have been unable to manage full time work since, but working nights casually is a break I never expected.

I hope everything works out for you in the future and I know with a bit of confidence you will get better, but it does take time, ignore the people who put you down, because they're not important, it's the people who try to help you knowing your skills that you listen to.

Oh and I suggest leaving medical, because from my experience they normally carry the heaviest workload, both in numbers and the actual weight of the patients, specialty areas tend to be less busy, such as paediatrics, but if you love what you're doing you will always do better at your job.:balloons:

[synkitty]

One more thing, some people do find night's really hard to manage with family and their life, but it really does decrease the extra workload you have to cope with and gives you an amazing amount of time to focus on patients and their actual care, rather than doing paperwork or a hundred other little chores you have to do during the day to keep family and management happy. I know it sound like I'm ranting, but it cheapens the whole reason I wanted to nurse and it frustrates me so much that common sense and basic courtesy has been eliminated from our job. Again I'm sorry for ranting

[bayouredlpn]

I Worked Med-surg At A Charity Hospital For A Year Right After Graduating Lpn School And Wanted To Cry And Quit Everyday For The First 6 Months. I Stuck With It, Wasn't Afraid To Ask For Help Or Ask Questions Although There Were A Few Nurses Who Acted As Though I Was A Pain, Most Were Very Helpful And Wanted Me To Stay And Learn. It Is Very Fast Paced And So Are Most Large Clinics. Now I Work In Group Homes With The Disabled In A Home Environment And Do Contract For An Agency At A Center For The Disabled.i Love Going To Work Now And Even If I'm In A Bad Mood, Just Being There Makes Me Feel Needed And Appreciated. Plus The Envirinment Is Much More Relaxed. Stick It Out And Learn As Much As You Can For As Long As You Can/ Everybody Makes Mistakes.the Experience You Can Gain Will Open Doors For You In Numerous Other Areas. I Can Tell You That It Gets Easier And It Does Take Time For Some Of Us To Find Our Special Place Where We Can Best Utilize Our Skills. I've Been Nursing 14 Years And Tried This 4 Years Ago And Feel That I Have "found My Place" In Nursing. Don't Give Up. It's Worth It When You Find Your Area Of Practice That Suits Your Needs And The Pts.

[flasandy42]

>>>

a month? i felt that way about nursing 30 of the 40 years that i did it. when i was young it was ok. i worked 25 years on the same busy med-surg-ortho-chemo-neuro floor all that time. it got to the point where i got physically sick to my stomach the day before i went back to work after my days off. when they changed to 12-hr shifts i almost couldn't handle it. we had very long hallways and the back and leg pain was terrible because of being on my feet that long but i lasted another 15 years. we always had 7-8 patients, of which 2-4 of them were feeds for three meals a day. we usually had one aide on our 40-patient floor. i thought about changing jobs but people had left and come back and said it was the same everywhere. i decided the best thing about nursing was retirement...which i finally did last year. i've been doing home health for the last 6 months though and it's so much easier for old nurses like me. i would never recommend nursing to anyone the way it is now. corporations like hca suck and they have totally exhausted the nurse out of nursing.

[zacsmimi]

School nursing...doctors office... clinics... home health (although I would think they would want some experience behind you)...I worked for an insurance company once... good pay. no weekends or holidays... Jail...telephone triage... daycare for mildly ill children... I liked ALL those better than hospital.

[hopecandy]

i agree that ltc is prob the way to go for you!!