want to cry all the time.... can i make it in this profession?

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hello everyone... this may be a long post, so to those of you that can manage to read it all and be able to give advice, GOD BLESS YA!!!....

Basically, i am a young LPN, working on my Rn, but i am doubting i can survive in this career... it's come to the point that i cry sometimes when i know i have to go in to work.. i get that sick feeling in my stomach and it doesn't leave until my shift is over......

i have underlying anxiety disorder, so that is no help.. plus i have had back surgery, so i can't lift,bend as well as the rest of ya can!!

i just feel that i cannot give the type of care i want to give in the settings i work.... i just got my lpn two years ago.. took job on a tele-med/surg floor and basically hated it.... everytime i asked questions i was looked at as the 'dumb new grad'.... and people just kept saying i ran around all shift aimlessly and didn't get stuff done in a timely manner.... the patients were fairly happy with my care, but it seems the nurses were only looking for my mistakes.... they'd say 'hey don't you care that mr. jones pulled his iv out?'.. and i had just been in that room ten mins. before and it was fine!!!

i just feel it's impoosible to keep up with all the meds and ngt flushes and constant ivpb abxs and patients going to and from tests all day long,,, plus all the new orders and heparin nomogram changes....

honestly, how can u guys do it all? i am not superwoman..

i want to be in a job that i can have time to hold my patient's hand or rub their back or hear about their concerns...

i barely have time to do quickie assessments and get meds passed...then it's off to take one pt to endo.... an other one is walking around with ot/pt so i have to wait to give them their meds...

maybe it's poor time management on my part, but i do not like running around all day long trying just to keep up, and barely having time to listen to my patients before running out the door to comply to the next pt's request for new blankets and ice chips...... plus when there is no aide.. i gotta get all the vitals and accu checks.....help turn/bedpan/wipe patients...

then if i am lucky i can get all my charting done........before finally taking a pee break at the end of the shift...

is this all nursing is anymore? just task-oriented? get the meds done.. do the assessments..... get the lab results/specimens..... get vitals... hurry and pass more meds..... rush a pt to a procedure....... stand and chart.. stand and chart....

i want to be able to do more.... but i feel i am not cut out for nursing..

sometimes i feel like crying when the family is in the room and they see me struggling to thread the ivtubing thru the pump.. or if i go to flush ngt.. and make a mess!!

can there be a place for me in nursing? a place where i won't feel my license is on the line every time i step foot on the floor?

a place whre i can rest my back... and my bladder?

a place where i can actually talk to my patient and care for them?

i am not lazy.. but i feel so disillusioned with what nursing is today.. i dn't know how you all can handle it...... may be i am too weak/sensitive for this field?

i do have good critical thinking skills.. i was top of class in nsg school... but i feel my skills aren't being used.. i feel i am just doing task after task.. and not having enough time with my patients to meet their needs..

i need a lower pt ratio or something....... this is too much work for one nurse to do.....especialy since i am agency and i need the money.. my husband has a low-pay job and i must be the breadwinner:uhoh21:...

i am so stressed about this...... i have to work for my family..

but these conditions are taking their toll on my young body and mind and soul...i am constantly in fear of making a mistake or missing something.. i can't relax on my days off....... i am grumpy towards my family....

someone please help me find what i can do?

i want to stay in this profession.. i only have six months med-surg/tele..

and about a year in agency doing mostly LTC.. and a little med-surg here and there..........i don't want to feel like a slave at my job and risk my back and bladder and dehydration.....i want to be satisfied knowing that i could take care of my patients.. not just say 'here's your pills/shot'....and that's it..

thanks for any advice.... please help this young nurse find a home....

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Well first, correct me if i'm wrong but i'm gathering you work in a hospital. If you are, i'd recommend getting out of that. Im a student so i dont have much experience but just from my point of view, i'd try to switch to a dr. office or maybe a specialty clinic. i dont know if this is an option for you or not, but i would think it would be easier, you have set times patients will come in (for the most part), etc. which i think would be better for you. let us know how it turns out! good luck!:)

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Specializes in OB, M/S, HH, Medical Imaging RN.

Wow I can relate. I've been so burnt out with hospital work. I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I am now doing home health and it is wonderful. I arrange my own schedule, I see one patient at a time, there is no beeper in my pocket, no call lights ringing off and no overhead paging ringing in my ears. I drive between patients and enjoy my CD's. Best of all I can eat, drink and pee whenever my heart desires and all without any interruptions. Continue for your RN. You'll make more in HH. LPN's can't do the high priced things like admits and recerts. Good luck to you sweetie. I know how you feel.

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thanks for the advice.. i haven't found any openings for clinical/office work but i hope they'd take me with my minimal experience...

i think i need a job with a steady pace.... not chaotic running around with 5-6 seriously needy ill patients and running to/from tests and not to mention dealing with irate family members!! i hate having to pass on work to the next shift cuz i didn't have time to do it (such as dressing changes on wounds,etc)... i just don't like giving that kind of care when the patients deserve better...

maybe i am weak, but i can't handle more than 2 pts at a time..... it's too much on the line, i think..

although i do like L&D.. but they only hire RNs.. (i have a year to go for RN!).. but i want a job with decent stability... no mandatory overtime.. i want to be able to like what i do.. and not spend my day off dreading going in to work the next day!!!!!!! i don't want to feel my career is on the line if i make a mistake because of being so busy with 5 or 6 critical patients, ya know?

what i want to know is..... do any of you outher young/new nurses feel sick when u have to go in to work? do u feel u are trapped in your career and odn't know how to get out cuz u need the job (to support family)?

do u feel other nurses cut you down and criticize you all the time?do u feel like you are nothing more than a highly paid servant at the patients and doctors beck and call.... only for them to criticize you for the one thing u missed and not praise u for the things u did right?

i hate hate hate feeling this way!!!!! i want to be a good nurse.. i want to feel happy that i did my best.. i want to rest at night not worrying if i forgot to sign off something on the mar or if i documented every little bm smear my pts had......i want to feel proud of what i do...... and not scared to step on the floor every time i go in to work....

thanks for the advice....... i'm keeping looking for a job.. but with my minimal experience... who kn ows?

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I also work in home health. The pay is a little lower, but there is no stress. Look into it !

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okay well i did do home health but it was more private duty.. and the child weighed 100#.... very hard to lift and it was too much on my back.. plus i din't get along with his mother.. but that's a whole other story (alcoholic-type/different man every nite, etc...) i only could handle it for one month... like i said.. with my jumpy work history.. i hope i can find something decent and steady.. and a chance to have holidays/weekends off... and not feeling miserable on days off knowing i have to go back to that 'job' the next day.....plus, being able to pee and get a drink within 12 hours would be a good perk ;)

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Maybe you should try LTC..the pace is a little slower and the residents need extra tlc and love.

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Specializes in Cardiac/Telemetry.

I'm sure that you can make it in this profession, because YOU CARE! You care about the patients and you care about the job. Look into clinics, LTC, and other things that may help your nerves and your state of mind. Don't kill yourself over this, there are other opportunities (a whole lot!) that would be happy to have someone like you. Good luck and God bless.

Mave.

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My advice would be similar to nurses above - get out of Med/Surg. I have been an RN for 16 months, working nights in Neuro/Medical ICU, and I couldn't be happier! 1:2 or 1:1 ratios are great. This was my first job out of Nursing School. I seriously disagree with any nurse that says you need to get 1-2 years experience in med/surg before trying any specialty.

Also, remember that nursing is a 24/7 job. There WILL be days that you don't get everything done, and it's OK. Don't let the nurse you report off to make you feel bad because they are bitter and unhappy. The tasks WILL get done. (Just don't make it a habit of it!)

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I have heard from many nurses who work in med-surg that it is very stressful, and that they never have time to get a drink of water or go to the bathroom. My good friend worked in med-surg, and she said that all the nurses she worked with were on medication for anxiety. My friend switched to L&D before she needed meds herself, and she is much happier there.

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well i am doing LTC now thru agency... but it seems i am a pill pusher and butt cream applyer.. notihing else.. there is too much work and too many meds to be able to give safely, IMHO.... i am a somewhat nervous person and don't like emergency situations too much and i am not big on colostomy/wound/goopy gross stuff a whole lot..... do u think someone like me could handle ICU... maybe i could do L&D.. or do lactation consultant eventually? i dunno.. i wanna stay a nurse i think.. but i don't want to feel sick and cry everytime knowing i have to go to work.... and scared to death for my license...

thanks for all your guys' input!!!! i hope i can find sanity... lol

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Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
Maybe you should try LTC..the pace is a little slower and the residents need extra tlc and love.

Long-term care requires you to be quick on the draw, but in a different way. I'm an LPN in LTC. I have 40 patients to take care of and 5-6 UAPs to supervise. The patients are, as a rule, not as high acuity as at a hospital, but when something goes wrong, I'm all they've got, so I have to be able to act quickly when the situation calls for it. The doctor is at least a phone call away (and usually an answering service away), and on 3-11, I'm it. The DON has gone home.

When things are going OK, which believe it or not does actually happen once in awhile, really and truly:chuckle, it isn't bad. I have routine treatments (butt creams, FSBS and the odd IM injection here and there) but if I get them squared away, I'm ready for anything and can even sit down with a patient when they're having an especially rotten day.

There are some godawful days in LTC. In our facility, our new admits usually come at 4:30-5:00 PM, right when I'm supposed to be serving dinner. During they day we have 9 nurses, so naturally the doc admits the new residents during the evenings, when it's just us two charge nurses. That really sucks, and sometimes treatments do get sidelined. Or the patients suddenly decide that today is a perfect day to practice their swan dives head-first onto the floor. Gotta love those incident reports!

LTC is a different ballgame. It's no less challenging, and you do have to learn to pace yourself if you want things to go smoothly. You've got to develop those leadership skills (still working on those after 3-4 years). The doctors I work with here are mostly OK, occasionally I get into it with one of them, but they usually forget to be mad later, and you only have to deal with them in 2-minute bites usually, or 3-4 hours if they're in on rounds.

But, that's just me. I never wanted to do hospitals anyway. And the pay is better in LTC, at least here. I earn more than most RNs at the local hospital do.

With apologies to Janis Ian, "When we're older, things may change. But for now, this is the way they must remain."

Good luck. Shop around. Get an office job. I would, except that I'm male and there's zero market for male nurses in office jobs. So you've got an option I don't. :rolleyes:

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