hello everyone... this may be a long post, so to those of you that can manage to read it all and be able to give advice, GOD BLESS YA!!!....
Basically, i am a young LPN, working on my Rn, but i am doubting i can survive in this career... it's come to the point that i cry sometimes when i know i have to go in to work.. i get that sick feeling in my stomach and it doesn't leave until my shift is over......
i have underlying anxiety disorder, so that is no help.. plus i have had back surgery, so i can't lift,bend as well as the rest of ya can!!
i just feel that i cannot give the type of care i want to give in the settings i work.... i just got my lpn two years ago.. took job on a tele-med/surg floor and basically hated it.... everytime i asked questions i was looked at as the 'dumb new grad'.... and people just kept saying i ran around all shift aimlessly and didn't get stuff done in a timely manner.... the patients were fairly happy with my care, but it seems the nurses were only looking for my mistakes.... they'd say 'hey don't you care that mr. jones pulled his iv out?'.. and i had just been in that room ten mins. before and it was fine!!!
i just feel it's impoosible to keep up with all the meds and ngt flushes and constant ivpb abxs and patients going to and from tests all day long,,, plus all the new orders and heparin nomogram changes....
honestly, how can u guys do it all? i am not superwoman..
i want to be in a job that i can have time to hold my patient's hand or rub their back or hear about their concerns...
i barely have time to do quickie assessments and get meds passed...then it's off to take one pt to endo.... an other one is walking around with ot/pt so i have to wait to give them their meds...
maybe it's poor time management on my part, but i do not like running around all day long trying just to keep up, and barely having time to listen to my patients before running out the door to comply to the next pt's request for new blankets and ice chips...... plus when there is no aide.. i gotta get all the vitals and accu checks.....help turn/bedpan/wipe patients...
then if i am lucky i can get all my charting done........before finally taking a pee break at the end of the shift...
is this all nursing is anymore? just task-oriented? get the meds done.. do the assessments..... get the lab results/specimens..... get vitals... hurry and pass more meds..... rush a pt to a procedure....... stand and chart.. stand and chart....
i want to be able to do more.... but i feel i am not cut out for nursing..
sometimes i feel like crying when the family is in the room and they see me struggling to thread the ivtubing thru the pump.. or if i go to flush ngt.. and make a mess!!
can there be a place for me in nursing? a place where i won't feel my license is on the line every time i step foot on the floor?
a place whre i can rest my back... and my bladder?
a place where i can actually talk to my patient and care for them?
i am not lazy.. but i feel so disillusioned with what nursing is today.. i dn't know how you all can handle it...... may be i am too weak/sensitive for this field?
i do have good critical thinking skills.. i was top of class in nsg school... but i feel my skills aren't being used.. i feel i am just doing task after task.. and not having enough time with my patients to meet their needs..
i need a lower pt ratio or something....... this is too much work for one nurse to do.....especialy since i am agency and i need the money.. my husband has a low-pay job and i must be the breadwinner:uhoh21:...
i am so stressed about this...... i have to work for my family..
but these conditions are taking their toll on my young body and mind and soul...i am constantly in fear of making a mistake or missing something.. i can't relax on my days off....... i am grumpy towards my family....
someone please help me find what i can do?
i want to stay in this profession.. i only have six months med-surg/tele..
and about a year in agency doing mostly LTC.. and a little med-surg here and there..........i don't want to feel like a slave at my job and risk my back and bladder and dehydration.....i want to be satisfied knowing that i could take care of my patients.. not just say 'here's your pills/shot'....and that's it..
thanks for any advice.... please help this young nurse find a home....
