VERY difficult but happy decision

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Specializes in ER, NICU.

Have been offered job by three different hospitals.

Pay is not enough to choose one over the other. I have one year NICU III experience and plan to be NNP asap.

One is a dream NICU(world class education dept, good equipment, etc) non-profit but I'd have to move (spouse totally against moving). This dream NICU would look best on my resume and they pay my NNP school, which is very close to the facility. It is the best choice for my career. The cost of living is 19% higher; pay is adjusted for that. If I took this NICU I could stay there the next year for more experience and then just "roll over" into the NNP program at the same facility. It has a dozen NNPS and neonatologists....BIG medical community.

Other is also a good NICU, union shop. It is a Dept of Defense position. They do not offer NNP opportunity nor have they indicated much formal training experience. Very relaxed, good people to work for. Cheap living. If I took this I'd be moving on in the next 12-18 months, they have 1NNP on staff.

I am older, have sacrificed my career over my spouse for 20 years, but he says no go. We have an 8th grader that wants to go wherever I go. My spouse does not have to worry about work, he works out of the house and his work is not dependent on being where we are for "customers". We could live in anyplace and he'd make just as much money.

He says I am being selfish. I left my GREAT career 20 years ago to stop and have three children....I think it is my turn and I am not being selfish.

Am losing ALOT of sleep over this!

Please don't say it is a personal choice....have half a mind to stay where job is "safe" and easy; and does not upset spouse. My other half keeps saying DO IT - go for the BIG time NICU opportunity. I had a 3.6 in nursing school and have another degree and my overall GPA is about a 3.7. I want to spend the next 20 years soaring on my new career....but spouse is being wet blanket. He has to retire in 2-4 years and I am going to be sole income plus his retirement income.

Ideas, comments, encouragement? I MUST make this decision by Thursday 9/13.

There is no turning back, because am afraid if I don't take the BIG opportunity they will never consider me(again) down the road (1 year from now).

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Specializes in IM/Critical Care/Cardiology.

You come off sooooooo excited about the great opportunity roll over awaiting your future. I'd tell my husband I gave you 3 beautiful children, have stood by yourside as u work in house and now close to retirement, can 't you see it's time for me to SOAR! Communication is either going to make it or break it, and you don't have alot of time. My thought is to go for it. It sounds meant to be. Talk, talk, talk!

Much luck and prayers.:redbeathe

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Specializes in Assisted Living Nurse Manager.

All I can say if it were me, I would go for it. This sounds like a very good opportunity and one that you really want. I am sure this is a very difficult decision for you to say the least. Maybe hubby will come to understand just how important this is to you. If he can work from any where, what makes him want to stay where he is at? Some people get comftorable with how thier lives are going and have a hard time when it comes to change. Maybe he will give it some thought and change his mind. Just keep talking to him and telling him how important this is to you. A compromise is in order in my opinion.

I wish you the best and I truly hope you get to make your dreams come true.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

Jericho,

I say look after your own butt for a change! He's the one who's selfish, especially if he's getting ready to retire, your child supports you, and this opportunity is in your lap! You'll be the sole support? PLEASE... He can get over it or I'd move on!

I've had an apple out of this bag before and am so glad I chose for once to achieve what I wanted! Go for it, girl!

ebear:angryfire

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I'd try to go to a counselor with my husband and have both of you able to talk about your concerns.

Your husband isn't an ogre . . . you guys are partners and he does have some rights as to how this move would effect him. Not veto rights but still.

Best wishes!

steph

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Specializes in Pediatrics Only.

I can tell by the tone of your post which job you want, so nobody here needs to tell you which to choose.

I just think you need to have a heart to heart with the hubby,and take that first job! You know you want it, the experiences will be out of this world, and your schooling would be paid for. Thats a huge benefit in itself.

Talk about it, heart to heart, and good luck! You deserve that job!

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Is it doable as a long-distance thing for now? My husband and I have been married for 27 years and have endured separations of up to one year and have survived - lol!

Would having two households upset things too much?

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Is it doable as a long-distance thing for now? My husband and I have been married for 27 years and have endured separations of up to one year and have survived - lol!

Would having two households upset things too much?

They have at least an 8th grader . .. . kids going into high school need the love and vigilance of two parents who are around. I know, I've seen three through high school and it is scary. ;):uhoh3:

steph

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Because of my husband's career (military), we moved a lot and were separated often so I do totally understand about the kids - our last move involved our sons at ages 16 and 11 and it was very hard. I don't say what I said lightly - believe me.

However, if this is truly her dream opportunity, I think that if she doesn't make an attempt to make it work, she may regret it and resent her husband later on down the line.

Its going to be hard to decide what to do.

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

However, if this is truly her dream opportunity, I think that if she doesn't make an attempt to make it work, she may regret it and resent her husband later on down the line.

I agree with this, and I wonder just how much he is aware of it.

To the OP: Is there some third party, like a pastor or close friend, who can sit down with the two of you to talk this through?

Maybe he does not quite understand what this really means to you, and someone else can help him grasp that better.

Good luck to you!

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Because of my husband's career (military), we moved a lot and were separated often so I do totally understand about the kids - our last move involved our sons at ages 16 and 11 and it was very hard. I don't say what I said lightly - believe me.

However, if this is truly her dream opportunity, I think that if she doesn't make an attempt to make it work, she may regret it and resent her husband later on down the line.

Its going to be hard to decide what to do.

Yes, it is . . . you are right.

I just know right now my dd is late getting home. She was supposed to have driven to Rite Aid (which is in the next town, 17 miles away) to get covers for her books. It has been two hours. I called her. No answer. She just called me back and told me this detailed story and come to find out she took two male friends with her. I'm tired - my head hurts. I'm handing this one to my dear husband. ;) And I'm glad he is here.

steph

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Specializes in Hospice, Med/Surg, ICU, ER.

Ask God for His will, then listen to the Spirit.

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