Published
OK, I am getting sooooo sick and tired of my classmates thinking that just because I don't work, have kids, or a husband..I have no problems. When did having problems only become exclusive to family life. I suffer my fair share of problems that drastically altered my grades first semester and was on the brink of failing..battled severe depression because of my problems and barely passed on...Im not going into detail about my personal life, but its just mind blowing how many of my classmates have this ONE SIDED VIEW ON life, its almost sickening....
Nursing school is difficult and stressful and time consuming for everyone. We ALL worked very hard to get here and we continue to work hard now that we are here. I have done the college thing both ways..single and working full time and now, with a husband and 4 kids and I have to tell you..with kids is harder. I have to juggle school with kids and housework. Soccer games, bills, my husbands work schedule as a firefighter. I am not trying to balance MY life, I am trying to balance the lives of SIX people ..my husband is a big help and we work hard together, but its still hard to squeeze study time when you have planned school activities, not to mention the unplanned things that come up with kids....I say, let it go, everyone is stressed and you have obviously taken it personally..We all have our crosses to bear. You have only experienced life so far as a single woman..we have experienced it both ways..appreciate the fact that you dont have their issues and focus on your own. :)
TrepInCt,One thing you discover when you are married is that very FEW husbands help out at home. In fact, they just increase your workload, because now you have an extra "child" to take care of (the man). Most of my married female classmates tell me their husbands are useless and a source of great strain for them. The single mothers in my class seem much happier.
LOL..I know.my first husband was a nightmare and my second husband is like prince charming, but he is still a man none the less and an extra person for me to deal with at home... :0
TrepInCt,One thing you discover when you are married is that very FEW husbands help out at home. In fact, they just increase your workload, because now you have an extra "child" to take care of (the man). Most of my married female classmates tell me their husbands are useless and a source of great strain for them. The single mothers in my class seem much happier.
I guess I must be lucky. My husband helps me clean, he does almost all of the laundary, and he is the one who always cooks. Now not to say that he is perfect or that I have to get onto him sometimes. But in those areas he is a BIG help. And he will run for me in the middle of the night to get me medicine if need to be so I understand what that poster was talking about.
If my husband was useless and a great strain on me than what is the point of being married? I would hate to think that either spouse would be a strain on the other. My dad is a wonderful man as well and helps out just like my husband so maybe it was because I saw a good role model and what to look for in a husband. LOL (shrugging my shoulders)
I guess I must be lucky. My husband helps me clean, he does almost all of the laundary, and he is the one who always cooks. Now not to say that he is perfect or that I have to get onto him sometimes. But in those areas he is a BIG help. And he will run for me in the middle of the night to get me medicine if need to be so I understand what that poster was talking about.If my husband was useless and a great strain on me than what is the point of being married? I would hate to think that either spouse would be a strain on the other. My dad is a wonderful man as well and helps out just like my husband so maybe it was because I saw a good role model and what to look for in a husband. LOL (shrugging my shoulders)
My husband is also a great help. cooking, cleaning, running kids around..but even with that, as I stated before..its still harder to do this way. Help or not, we cant exactly walk away for 2 years and ignore whats going on in our homes. My awesome husband also has to go to work so he cant always be there to help out. He is a firefighter and his schedule is all over the place, working, many nights and weekends and lots of OT ... Nursing school isint easy for anyone..not trying to make it like a piece of cake for anyone who doesnt have kids. It isint. Its the toughest schooling we have ALL had. But please dont get upset when a mom tells you these things, we dont mean to and someday you will understand. :heartbeat
While I know it is very cliche you don't and won't understand useless you have children. My children are younger and regardless of the attention they get from others (husband, my parents) it is NOT the same as mommy (or daddy) attention. I choose to have my children and they can not and will not be lacking attention while I am in school.
That being said I understand everyone has their own issues to deal with in life. Using anything (kids, husband, job, ect.) for a scapegoat is on you and there have been people who have done it with worse situations then what some are dealing with.
Although all you had to do was look at my name and know how I feel about this subject. :) Although I also NEVER EVER blame anything on my kids I choose to go back to school.
The people who are blaming tardiness, absences, and bad grades on their kids are the same ones who would be late, absent, and failing even without the kids.
I earned my bachelor's degree while raising a chronically ill toddler by myself (we were on a first name basis with the nightshift in the ED) taking care of my sick mother, and working full time as a CNA. In that time I missed one day of classes (there was a blizzard) and one night of work (influenza). I did it by working very hard and being organized.
There were probably days when I complained about being up all night in the emergency room...it was tiring and stressful. There were also plenty of young singles compaining about being sooo tired because there was such a great party last night. Did I have any sympathy for the 19 year olds with hangovers? No. Did I expect any sympathy from them for my problems? No. As someone pointed out I CHOSE to have a child.
i help the wife clean up, but she does it mostly d/t time constraints, otherwise, i'm neurotically clean.and yes, people with children who use them as scapegoats for bad grades, well, you made em, deal with em
it's all about time management and prioritization. it has been my dream to become a nurse since i was a child. and now that i finally have the opportunity and the support to do so, i am not allowing my responsibilities at home as a "wife & mother" hinder my dream!
i study religiously for at least 3+ hours a day, and manage to take care of my toddler by myself most of the time (husband works long hours).
i wake up at 5am get ready, study for an hour, get the little one up and ready for school. by 8pm he is knocked out, and i make the most of my study time until 12am. totally exhausted at the end of the week but i'm at the top of my class it's well worth it.
when i feel tired and discouraged, i keep reminding myself that i can't let myself fail or get behind. i will simply not accept defeat without putting up with a struggle or fight.
if nursing was easy, i'm sure everyone would be doing it,
but it's not.
this is my one chance in life where i just have to prove to myself that success is within reach.
I went through nursing school with a woman who had two small children, a husband, worked full-time as a Patient Care Technitian, and never ever once complained that she couldn't get her homework done because of her job or family. She busted her behind, got excellent grades, turned in all her homework and set a great example. I don't know how she did it! I do know that she has a very supportive and helpful husband, so that was a huge plus.
I am married, with a wonderful husband, one child (grown on her own) but have a mother-in-law who has had a variety of serious health problems that impacted my ability to study properly. I helped take constant care of her and never complained. I was determined to make it and graduated with honors. Attitude and determination are everything while you're in nursing school.
I think the original poster is just pointing something out. I agree that nursing school is hard regardless, and...as someone said before, having children and getting married are choices, not obligations. No one can complain that they got the short end of the stick in this situation. I agree that school can be just as difficult for a single traditional student, as it can for a married woman with kids, it just depends on other circumstances.
I have not read all of the thread so forgive me if I am redundant.
I am a single male Registered Nurse. From my perspective, it often seems that the married people I work with expect me to sacrifice for them. The obvious one is covering for them at work. Hey you don't have family so you can work for me. Well. I do have family, they are called parents and siblings, I just don't happen to be married.
The other irritating thing, and I am sure that I am going to catch hell for this, is that I get constantly shaken down for "monetary donations." So and so is having a baby so give money. So and so's kid is having a fund raiser so please buy cookies. Married people with children automatically assume I have nothing better to do with my money than give it to their kids. I might be a little more understanding if I had kids, then there would be reciprocity. I buy from your kids and you buy from my kids. As it is, it turns out that I buy from your kids and then I keep buying from your kids or someone else's kids.
To be quite honest, the last thing that I want to her at work is that another nurse is pregnant. I know that it is a happy occasion for HER, but look at it from the perspective of a single man. When that nurse goes on maternity, my scheduling becomes less flexible because the holes have to be covered. Basically I get crappier schedules.
These days, when I am asked to give or "donate," I usually just say that I don't do that. I get so much crap for that as you can imagine. My dog of 16 years recently died. Nobody took up a collection for me to help defray the cost of cremation. And yes, she is just a dog. Not a human, but the point is married people expect singles to sacrifice/be flexible for them, but are often completely insensitive to the needs of the single person.
EscapeTheDungeon
6 Posts
TrepInCt,
One thing you discover when you are married is that very FEW husbands help out at home. In fact, they just increase your workload, because now you have an extra "child" to take care of (the man). Most of my married female classmates tell me their husbands are useless and a source of great strain for them. The single mothers in my class seem much happier.