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Ugh! Friend is discouraging

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HisTreasure has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Pediatrics.

11,810 Profile Views; 748 Posts

4_2_100.gif My best friend is a CNA. She was somewhat supportive of me going through with the application process for my LPN, but as soon as I was accepted she stopped calling as often. I don't want to jump to conclusions, so I can't pinpoint her reasoning. Anyhow, today we were talking and she began talking about how hard clinicals and med math will be. She was saying book smart people do horribly at skills/clinicals. She said people who aren't great at math will flunk out because med math is hard, math tests are 100% or 0, and you have to pass in order to continue.

I believe her, but I don't know why she would even say that knowing I am not the best mathmatician and I am seriously nervous about clinicals. 4_2_3.gif Someone, please tell me how difficult med math and clinicals really are!

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25 Posts; 1,818 Profile Views

Hello Kiyasmom

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on being accepted into LPN school! Now, just my opinion but...maybe your friend is a little jealous....It takes some initative and self confidence to even APPLY! I know cause if that had not been something I had wanted SO BADLY for so long...and with the support and encouragement of my WONDERFUL HUBBY...I would have never gotten to the applying...

Anyway...I am one of those people that can't even balance a checkbook! and I passed the math!There are just a few formulas that you will need to memorize...and remember "my calculator is my best friend"!

As for clinicals...If you are eager to learn and already have good people skills...it will be a breeze! (nerve racking...yes...but still a breeze)

Attendance is VERY important...so try not to miss for anything!

The grades may be different where you are...but we had to keep an 80 average in all subjects to pass. This in mind...I graduated with a 97.6 in all subjects and was the class Valedictorian (sorry, I promise I am NOT "tooting my own horn") , I just want you to know that "book smart" was a fast track for my dream job of working with my favorite and most trusted Doctor in his office! 8am-whenever, 4 days a week, week ends off, holidays off, great benefits, great pay...and best of all....I LOVE MY JOB!!!!! :balloons:

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mitchsmom specializes in OB, lactation.

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Sounds like your friend is jealous to me too!

I think any average person with motivation and halfway decent study habits will do fine. I was really nervous about the math because it is my weakest subject but like the previous poster wrote, it's really just a few very very basic formulas.

I haven't seen anyone flunk out in my program that is doing their work and putting in a reasonable effort. Go for it, and tell your friend to take a hike if she can't be supportive.

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423 Posts; 4,993 Profile Views

Gabby, remember Phillipians 4:13. You can do ALL things through Christ. HE is the one who gives you strength! I agree with the others, your friend sounds a little jealous. I would guess it's hard for her to watch you move on,school and career wise. It mught be something she wishes she could do, but it's not possible for her at the moment. You know how that is:p Don't worry too much about it.

As far as you being worried about how hard clinicals and med math is...girl, you are well spoken, get good grades, you are motivated, and you care......you WILL do great! That "you can't be book smart AND have common sense" crap gets on my nerves so much. That's just a line ppl throw out there to make themselves look better because they ARE NOT book smart. I'll email you later today:p

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143 Posts; 2,057 Profile Views

I really think the previous posters are right on this one. It really sounds like your friend is jealous. I don't know why it is, but the decision to go to nursing school brings out all kinds of attitude from other people. My dad told me I was too old to go back to college. I'm only 32. My mother was quite discouraging at first. She wanted me to go into education.....as in, elementary education! I could never be a school teacher. I'm just not cut out for it. I have heard different things from different people...a few have been very discouraging telling me that I won't be able to do it or that I won't like it. However, I also have many people who are now behind me and who are really supportive of my decision to go to nursing school. My parents have come around and are quite proud to be able to say that their daughter returned to college last fall and was on the dean's list for both fall and spring semesters and was also named to the national dean's list. I guess I'm not too old to go to college after all?!lol.....I'm not bragging....I'm just saying that you don't need to let others discourage you. You are going to do this and in the end, they'll all be proud of you....they may still be a bit jealous, but they'll be proud of you too :)

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wonderbee is a BSN, RN and specializes in critical care; community health; psych.

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I believe that when those close to us raise the bar higher for themselves, it challenges those of us left behind to stay or follow. This can stir up all kinds of feelings. Her discouragement is not about you, it's about her and her feelings. It might be easier for her to take the low road and be discouraging than to admit that you can do it... or to think about the fact that with ambition, she can too. Secretly, she may be contemplating following in your footsteps. Don't be surprised if she does at some later time.

I'm in RN school and have a very basic algebra background. Definitely not the brightest math lightbulb in the lamp. I passed my last med calc test with a 95%. It's not that bad and besides, the truth is that the pharmacy does most of the calculation for you in the hospital setting. The nurses on my shift couldn't solve the practice problems for my med calc test. Even the charge! They told me that the pharmacy figures all that stuff out. They don't have to.

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483 Posts; 6,999 Profile Views

She was saying book smart people do horribly at skills/clinicals. She said people who aren't great at math will flunk out because med math is hard, math tests are 100% or 0, and you have to pass in order to continue.

Your personal determination will determine your success, not book smarts.

Repeat after me, nursing math IS NOT HARD! I waited years to begin school because of my fear of math...what a waste of time! Approach the math without any fear, get extra help if you need further instructions, and review a couple of problems each day until you can do them in your sleep. After a while the math part will be second nature.

My advice to you is to drop any so-called friend who is not being 100% supportive, because you will not have the time to keep rationalizing their attitude.

Now get busy reviewing math. You will do great!!!!

Rachel :kiss

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HisTreasure has 10 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Pediatrics.

748 Posts; 11,810 Profile Views

:kiss Thank you for all the advice everyone. I secretly thought she may be jealous also, but I didn't want to seem catty. :stone Anyhow, thank you for eleviating some of my fears about math. I do feel much better. I have to keep my sights set on the goal despite the negative vibes. Full speed ahead to Nurse-dom!

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mariedoreen has 3 years experience and specializes in Med-Surg.

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Yep, jealous.

I actually lost for a time what I thought was a good friend when I went back to school (she admitted to me later that she had been jealous). And another who was so supportive of me the whole time I was in school (we helped each other study for A & P and Micro) could barely even muster a smile when I told her I'd been accepted into the nursing program, she actually looked shell shocked and her "Congratulations" was somewhat less than sincere. I was very hurt and actually baffled that my being in school could be considered threatening in any way to my friends. It was explained to me that my achievements in this area actually force my friends to come to terms with the choices they have made in life. IE, did they take the easy way out, did they choose not to work so hard... and watching me continue down that path and do well is, in a way, depressing because it's a reminder of what they could have achieved had they made different choices... something they really don't want to have to consider.

Now, I'm not saying all our friends are thinking this. But the ones that are acting jealous, or are not supportive, or are actually shooting us down MAY be facing some of these issues. While I've never said anything to anyone else before this, I also noticed that I did not receive any congratulations from any family either except for my mom and one sister-in-law. The rest completely ignore the achievement ; ) Ah well, my husband and I are both thrilled and that's really all that matters.

Of course it's one thing to be unsupportive (my situation) and it's quite another to have someone actively work to bring you down (which sounds like your situation). I'd take hyperstudent's advice and not surround myself with those who are giving you nothing but anxiety. You don't need that! And re dosage math and anxiety about clinicals, read through some threads on this website... You'll find you're not the only one with anxiety about nursing school. I think we're all scared to death, lol. And reading about how everyone else feels the same as you and I has actually helped a lot of my anxiety to go away!

Good luck to you!

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Tweety has 28 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

4 Followers; 29,036 Posts; 49,678 Profile Views

Don't believe her. Unless she's been there she doesn't really know what nursing school is about. There are so many different nurses from so many different backgrounds, with so many different skills and learning styles that you just can't generalize.

At best she's trying to give you what she perceives as the reality. At worst she's a CNA with bad experiences and opinions of RNs and is finding it hard to be encouraging. Remind her she's your best friend and you really would appreciate her support, knowing that it's going to be tough.

Good luck!

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Altra is a BSN, RN and specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

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:I have to keep my sights set on the goal despite the negative vibes. Full speed ahead to Nurse-dom!

AMEN!!! :)

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39 Posts; 1,246 Profile Views

You know I have a friend who went to RN school and graduated just last year. I don't ever remember being jealous or the least bit threatened by her doing so. It just made me more motivate to go back to school and JUST DO IT. She informed me of all the things she went through while in school and she didn't sugar coat anything but encouraged me to apply and get the ball rolling. I mean she was such a motivation to me and STILL IS. I don't think I would have start this road back up again if it wasn't for the push she gave me. I was hung up on the fact that I have 4 kids and enough bills to pay how was I going to go to school and do anything. She wasn't discouraging then she told me that, I would just have to cut back on somethings and to explain to my kids why we are in a crunch for right now and it will pay off later. My husband is very supportive, Mom, Dad, aunts, uncle, just everybody. And you know we need that support to get through what nursing school has in store for us. I mean I could call my friend any time of the day with questions about the whole process, school, clinicals, teachers, nursing activities, just anything and she just loves to answer my questions.

So to make a long story short. I couldn't imagine discouraging someone to not go to school. I know I have convienced my aunt not to go to LPN school and go straight to RN school and she will start next year and another aunt just listening to me talk about my friend and her experience she has went back to start her pre-reqs for nursing also.

So, I think this thing could be contagious :) . I think maybe you should try to convience her to go to nursing school also and just see if her attitude changes. Encourage her to take on the same challenge that you are about to be faced with and see if she could stand up to the challenge. I think deep down inside she wants to be a nurse herself and just might didn't want you to obtain the dream first.

I will tell you this everytime someone comes with something negative you give them something positive and keep on moving. Eventually they will quit once they see they can't break your spirit and motivation. Never let them see you sweat..... :) :) :)

Rn2b204,

sorry so long and rambling and excuse all the mistakes....... :rolleyes:

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