Troll co-worker

I don't ignore, I work on building relationships. Not necessarily becoming compadres but I'm not going to ignore people as a way to deal.

I'm trying to soften my directness but I remain direct, with everyone. That comes with experience and confidence and I can't teach that in a post but I would encourage you to learn how to deal with difficult people without ignoring them.

I didn't mean to literally ignore. I meant to ignore the attempts at an argument. When someone believes that what you said is wrong, it could take a lengthy conversation to correct them or come to an agreement. Add that this would be in the middle of a workday. Correcting them might also not go over well with someone who is older and wants to believe they are smarter than you. It's tricky.

This person is trouble. Don't feed the troll. Don't listen to it and don't participate in it. Say "I don't like to talk about people." Repeat as needed.

You are going to have to confront her when she insults you directly. Say "well that's very nice but I am following the policy. "

or say sarcastically "thanks, ms troll, for correcting me, yet again."

Consider managing her negative behavior just another part of the job.

I also meant don't ignore her negative comments. "I don't agree," and then wait and repeat can go a long way to ending diatribes.

If your performance is strong, no one will believe you are dumb.

I am sorry I did not mention that I did not ignore her statements regarding the procedure. I answered them briefly. She didn't respond. She seemed like she wanted to...but she did not. I guess, in reality, I did not ignore her.

It's taken me a lot of years to get to the point where I say "I feel like there's a little hostility in our conversation here." and try to redirect the conversation with a positive tone. I'm not always successful.

I once told a coworker that I don't have to like you to work with you. I have gotten to the point where I am able to let a lot of things go and roll off my back. I find that these types usually end up hanging themselves in the long run.

Reading what you wrote, my first thought is she sounds like an insecure person. If that is the case, she will be a drain by trying to drag you down to make herself feel better. Once I realize someone is insecure, it is always much easier for me to smile at their antics and move on.

Reading what you wrote, my first thought is she sounds like an insecure person. If that is the case, she will be a drain by trying to drag you down to make herself feel better. Once I realize someone is insecure, it is always much easier for me to smile at their antics and move on.

Exactly, I guess by ignore, I actually meant "move on"....not let it effect me as much. She is insecure. You nailed that. She wants to put me down to make herself feel better is my estimation.

I didn't mean to literally ignore. I meant to ignore the attempts at an argument. When someone believes that what you said is wrong, it could take a lengthy conversation to correct them or come to an agreement. Add that this would be in the middle of a workday. Correcting them might also not go over well with someone who is older and wants to believe they are smarter than you. It's tricky.

"Perhaps I communicated that incorrectly. I will take it under advisement. Otherwise, this is not a conversation I am willing to have at present. If you will excuse me..." And walk away.

This person's self esteem issues are not your gig.

And when the "nurse such and so is soooo dumb" conversations come up, again, a "I am uncomfortable with the tone of this conversation. However, I will try to support her/him any way that I can in their practice, as that is a team goal, no? If you will excuse me...." and walk away.

"I make it a point to not discuss other coworkers" "This is an inappropriate conversation, I am not willing to participate in"

And if she asks you what you are doing "patient care. If you will excuse me..."

You are more than likely not the only one who is onto her issues. You can only control your practice. Otherwise, not worth your energy.

Best wishes.

People like this coworker are actually quite easy to 'tame'. It can be a bit distasteful, but it's worth the effort.

You know for a fact her head is seething with negativity, nasty judgments, and all . . . because she basically loathes herself. Not that she's even got Clue Number One that her self image is so bottomed out. Just know this about her. And with a person like this, what do you think she 'wants' more than anything?

To be accepted exactly as she is. To be safe. To be free of suffering. Her whole schtick is just a really obnoxious method to avoid feeling badly about herself. Most folks are a lot more mature about it, that's the only difference.

The trouble is by being extra encouraging and supportive and complimentary of her is that she could suddenly start thinking you are her BESTESTEST friend in the whole world. I had a really obnoxious coworker at my last job practically FOLLOW ME AROUND, like she got a crush on me or something. She wanted to ***** and moan and harp to me instead of work. But at least she wasn't starting rumors or drama about me.

Everyone is different, and you have to find your own personal way of coping with such a person. I 'befriend' them, and they stop the bullcrap with me and maybe with others if they are capable of respecting my feedback. I don't get bullied. Other people like Libby don't get bullied because bullies don't dare. I don't get bullied because bullies don't want to bully me . I've had a couple coworkers I had to get very assertive with, but for the most part I 'tamed' them.