Trite Management Platitudes

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I have been a nurse for "mumble, mumble" years.

Through out the years there have been trite mangement 'truisms' that have always set my teeth on edge.

For example, once not too long ago, I was working in an ICU with two other nurses, a seven bed unit that has an acquity that can vary widely from next-to-nothing to six vents and/or AMIs, to crashing surgeries, etc.,

That shift in question we were literally drowining, because of the nature of the unit we rarely have a unit secretary, or any aides to transport labs, run errands, and so forth. One of the nurses called the house manager and asked if one of the unit secretaries from the med/surg floor, (they have two), could please come help us, mostly answer lights, and maybe put in an order or two into the computer.

The house manager told her, no...and you "must learn to prioritize your care."

I hate this comment...It implies that the reason a nurse is falling behind, or overwhelmed, is her fault, that if she would just do what is important she would not be behind...Of course if you truly just prioritize, you will be faulted for not doing the things you think are less important, that you didn't update the critical pathway, or care plan...or put the accucheck readings or vitals in the three different places you supposed to.

Another one I hate is the phrase..."Lack of preparation on your part does not constitue an emergency on my part". This only is true if you have some power or ability to set your own workload and or timetable, something that I think most staff nurses do not have.

In actuality what really happens from a staff nurse's point of view is...Lack of preparation on your part has caused an emergency on my part...

The surgeon that wants to do the painful dressing now, and neglected to tell you to give the pre-med one-half hour before his arrival, the one with the complicated supplies and equipment that takes awhile to get together, and he wants to do it NOW!!!

The gastroenterologist, (resident), that wants you to force the elderly pt to chug the gallon of go-lytely in 20 minutes because he forgot to order it earlier and the attending is going to be there in an hour for the colonscopy, of course the pt. won't be clean, but that's you fault...

So I was wondering is there any management or work related platitudes that just send you up the wall?

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On a bad day I think "learn to prioritize care" means- cut corners all you can, but don't get caught. Don't expect support if you get caught.

"Time management" has a loaded meaning to me. On my first job I rarely ate lunch, stayed late, came in early to review, and hit the floor running. There was simply too much work to do in the time alloted. "Time management" implies that not completing the increasing load of patient care and excessive charting is always the nurse's fault. You never saw me sit except to chart. I'm suprised I lasted that year.

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

"Work smarter, not harder."

Which part of the new customer-service based nursing applies to this little gem?

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I am so glad you decided to do this thread, I intend to check back to see what gets written. My head is a little fuzzy right now and I can't think of any but I know I have heard them.

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Specializes in Peri-op/Sub-Acute ANP.

When you are about to get screwed you hear "we need you to be a team player on this one"!

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Specializes in ICU, CCU, Trauma, neuro, Geriatrics.

I was not made aware of this issue soon enough, you just have to deal with it. A staffing issue that was apparant 3 days ago....geeze.

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"I have a challenge for you"---translation: "I'm about to ask you to do something that isn't humanly possible."

I just hate when I hear something out of a manager/charge nurse's mouth that sounds like they learned it at some sort of management seminar.

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I just thought of one and it is one you got to watch out for "do the best that you can". What that actually means "we are throwing you to the wolves and if you screw up it is your neck, TO BAD".

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

The one that really sets my teeth on edge is "You nurses have to learn to think outside the box" Coming from a brand new RN/ADON. And it is usually followed by "When I worked on the floor I always " --fill in the blank. Talk about pouring salt in an open wound-sheesh..We all ARE NOT YOU.I don't work double shifts every day and gobble every OTC speed-vitamin combo and energy drink available.I don't want to save the world-I am content to keep my own little corner of it as orderly as possible-to heck with the rest ......

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
The one that really sets my teeth on edge is "You nurses have to learn to think outside the box" Coming from a brand new RN/ADON. And it is usually followed by "When I worked on the floor I always " --fill in the blank. Talk about pouring salt in an open wound-sheesh..We all ARE NOT YOU.I don't work double shifts every day and gobble every OTC speed-vitamin combo and energy drink available.I don't want to save the world-I am content to keep my own little corner of it as orderly as possible-to heck with the rest ......

You can come work for ME anytime!:yeah:

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.

I don't know that I have a management "truism", but I really hate hearing patients referred to as "clients". That's right when we starting hearing about budgets and the bottom line, and the patient as a consumer. Suddenly, we weren't providing what was being paid for. And consumers (or customers) are always right...

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Manager pops in dressed to the nines on a waaayy understaffed Sunday.

Manager: I have this great new idea for having nurses put discharge dates on the white boards and a new space on the board for the pain management plan and (yack yack yack)... what do you think!

Me: I haven't eaten since 7 this morning.

Manager: But nurse-client communication is the most important part of customer service!

Sorry, I thought dropping an NG in my distended pt. who started projectile vomiting was more important that writing on the white board. How could I make such a silly mistake... :bugeyes: Must be the lack of food...

Nurse-client communication: writing stupid things on the white board that nobody reads. New item added every week.

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