Treating an ex family member

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I work for a psychiatric crisis center. This is actually my 6th year anniversary

i am contingent now. At the psych facility we receive packets to come in and be psychiatrically evaluated. I was working a midnight shift. We have a pending list of patients to come in and sometimes if we read their charts and we see they could easily be decerted we can call them in.

I happened to see my dads ex wife. We never got along while they were married. Also did haven’t seen her in 16 years. I decided to call her in for being curious and also I knew she would be be a quick decert.

she came in and I had to assess her. We chatted caught up, I explained the process and I said if you ever needed anything here’s my number. My heart was in the right place.

few days later a friend of mine whom I used to be really close with but now she’s a supervisor and doesn’t know how to act so we’re fallen out. Anyways she wrote a recipient rights on me because it’s a conflict of interest which isn’t true because I’ve taken care of many people I know.

needless to say the recipient rights went no where

so today they needed a nurse and I went to work 3 hours into my shift I noticed I couldn’t get into the program. I was inactivated. I asked a supervisor and he looked into it.

he came up to me and told me I was suspended pending investigation but was unable to tell me why. This was news to me

so I blew up my nursing supervisors phone- we are pretty close and I explained to her my file a and I asked if she knew about it and she said yes. WhiCh baffled me as to why she didn’t tell me

well apparently my fathers ex wife came to my job and told them I contacted her. I had sent her a text a week after discharge asking if she was ok and I wanted to know if I did something wrong Because I was being accused oF guiding her what to say. Which I didn’t. If she needed help she needed it. She said she was sleeping and would contact me later. I never contacted her again. This was all via text.

so she went to my work and showed them the text. Per my supervisor she doesn’t know if she can save my job.

I know I was Unprofessional and crossed a boundary but in my defense it was an old family member and my heart was in a good place. But then again I never should’ve contacted her regardless.

I am distraught and so mad at myself for my stupid actions. I kind of want to resign right now just to get it over with. But I would like other people’s opinions. And please don’t be harsh I’m already beating myself up as is.

15 minutes ago, nurse_lime said:

It wasn’t a hippy violation. I Had her number. And she was ok with contact afterwards

Think about this from the perspective of protecting patients' sense of privacy and dignity.

You may not have meant to, but you put your patient in an uncomfortable situation (assuming that you asked if it was okay to contact her). She is a mental health patient and you are a professional. What is she supposed to say, "Absolutely not. I hate your dad and actually I don't care for you, either" --? No. Lots of people will try to be polite. But she shouldn't have been put in the position of needing to grant you permission to call on her socially.

And most times when someone calls on an acquaintance socially, the caller doesn't also possess private health information about the other person unless the two have a close enough relationship that they divulge such things to one another on a friend level, not a patient/nurse level.

Unfortunately what you did really blurs the lines in a manner that is unethical, even if that isn't what you intended.

TBH this may be more of a violation of privacy practices and/or general ethics than strictly HIPAA.

7 Votes

What I did was wrong and I accept responsibility.

the story is a little bit more complex than what I’ve posted

and whomever stated she was only being nice to me because she was in fear I would tell my father is probably true and I fell for it I’m gullible As for their marriage. I’m not my father I never harmed or spoken negatively about her. When she came in I treated her like any other patient with compassion and genuine care. I am a really good nurse I will give myself that much. But I messed up intensely.

I wasn’t trying to be malicious in anyway that’s not who I am When I received her number I did throw it away and found it later because I had no intention on calling her

as for the curiosity that was in the beginning I had not seen her in years, but when she came in I was compassionate And didn’t give her special treatment I did her assessment. We caught up on life. And that was it

what my father did to her was horrible and regardless of what anyone thinks this was a way of getting back at him even if it didn’t hurt him directly you would understand it I told you what my narcissistic father did

but again I take responsibility I shouldn’t of text her. I think that’s human nature but again it was wrong

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
10 minutes ago, nurse_lime said:

and whomever stated she was only being nice to me because she was in fear I would tell my father is probably true and I fell for it I’m gullible

You didn't "fall" for anything, you are not the victim in this scenario. Stop acting as if you are.

15 Votes

Shouldn't you try to get someone else to deal with a patient if you personally know them? It seems it is just asking for trouble the way the laws are today.

9 Votes

There is only one nurse per shift

1 hour ago, JadedCPN said:

You didn't "fall" for anything, you are not the victim in this scenario. Stop acting as if you are.

You don’t know me that well then. So your opinion doesn’t mean that much to me. Im

noy acting like a victim. I genuinely thought she was being nice. She even had th audacity to tell me I was her favorite. If I were her favorite she wouldn’t of reported me. She could’ve simply said I don’t think I want you to contact me instead of being a malicious person.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
10 minutes ago, nurse_lime said:

There is only one nurse per shift

You don’t know me that well then. So your opinion doesn’t mean that much to me. Im

noy acting like a victim. I genuinely thought she was being nice. She even had th audacity to tell me I was her favorite. If I were her favorite she wouldn’t of reported me. She could’ve simply said I don’t think I want you to contact me instead of being a malicious person.

Maybe there's a better way of wording it than using the word victim to help you understand.

You are not the one who is innocent in this scenario and she did something wrong/malicious. YOU are the one who is wrong in this scenario and she is the one who is innocent.

3 Votes
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
17 minutes ago, nurse_lime said:

There is only one nurse per shift

Again, I'm sorry for your predicament bit it is what it is, nurse_lime. Red flags and fireworks should have been going off.

A couple of years ago, I came onto the geriatric psych unit to find (someone's) name on the patient list and immediately contacted the House Sup to work another unit. He gave me grief, but I stood my ground and told him I felt uncomfortable, and if push came to shove, I would refuse to work.

I got my way and refused to discuss (someone) with any other staff member.

In 1979, while I was going through the EMT program, 15 years before HIPAA, confidentiality was drilled into our heads.

I won't even discuss some patients at all with my wonderful medical nurse wife who I trust with my life.

10 Votes
Specializes in Gerontology.

From what I understand, you looked at the list and deliberately chose her. You should have picked someone else and left her to the next shift

10 Votes
Specializes in retired LTC.

To OP - 'Conflict of interest' here.

To Davey - kudos re your last post. Truly professional.

To OP - the activity that Davey undertook should have been the one you should have taken.

5 Votes

I feel a mistake was made.

However, some of the above mentioned remarks are mean spirited. "Hippy" was probably auto correct. Just as an example. And "...no skin off my nose."

And none of us can read in between the lines.

This nurse was reaching out perhaps feeling desperate and some are acting like they never used bad judgment. Or made any mistake?

Be honest with your employer, and admit your mistakes. Definitely, do not focus on your perception of the patient's role in this.

I do agree that it is best to be upfront and move forward, what else can be done?

1 Votes
Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.

What else must be done ASAP:

- getting and retaining legal consult from a lawyer well familiar with HIPAA and other legal issues as pertaining to nursing practice in the state of the event;

- CV updated;

- copies of all possible and pertaining documents, texts, etc. (for example, that night's schedule showing that the OP was only one available RN on duty) made and placed in safe storage;

- clear strictly factual description of what happened with times, dates and names of everyone involved but without any judgements like "I was just curious" and "I just wanted to" should be written and placed in a safe storage without showing it to anyone but the attorney, period;

- quick decision made about attempting to save the current job vs. resigning immediately before being terminated on bad terms;

- and praying so that will be the end of it.

Quote

I do agree that it is best to be upfront and move forward, what else can be done.

6 Votes

I'm not judging you, honest. In fact, my heart goes out to you. I know you will learn from this. When you meet with your employer, ask them if you should resign, that will help you decide.

3 Votes
+ Add a Comment