Transgender Nurses - experiences/opinions

Nurses Relations

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Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully providing your input. I am new to this site, and nursing. I have passed my nursing program and will be taking the nclex this summer. Unfortunately, I am at another more confusing/vital crossroad in my life where I need to decide whether I have the courage to be who I always felt I was or resign myself to living out my life in the manner that my family and society thinks that I should. Sadly, right now, all I can see is a great deal of emotional pain with either path I choose.

I was hoping that some of you might have experience either as a person transitioning or as the co-worker of someone who has transitioned while they were working at a hospital. I am particularly interested in male to female experiences since that is my potential situation and also because it so commonly elicits a much stronger negative reaction than female to male. How did the hospital, staff and patients react? How supportive or unsupportive were they?

For those of you that do not have any direct experience, how do you think that you and your team would feel about it if it was one of yours that came out and began transitioning? How would you like the person to go about things to make you feel more comfortable with it? I am looking for a realistic picture, not just reassurances. I really want to know the truth as transitioning while in a job seems like the scariest thing next to explaining this to my religious parents.

BluegrassRN,

I just wanted to thank you for being such an open minded and wonderful parent. I break out in tears every time I read an article or a post about a parent who has fully accepted their trans child for who they are and not who they want them to be. I am so thankful that kids have people like you as parents because I know what it is like to have the opposite of that. In your acceptance, you have spared your kid so much pain and loneliness that I can't even begin to describe. Trans kids are one of the highest risk groups for suicide if not the highest, and you have spared your kid the isolation and self hatred that leads to those thoughts. You have given them someone safe to turn to. My parents were great parents in every way except for that one important part, and it is that part that has kept a wedge between us for my entire life. I know they felt like they were doing the right thing or protecting me from something that I didn't understand at such a young age, but really all it did was severely limit my future dreams and opportunites. I don't think a person can really feel loved without acceptance because for all of the love that I know that they technically have for me, I can honestly say, I have never felt it. They love someone else, not me. I do love them though, and I love parents like you for being so open for your child. Your greatest reward will be in the relationship that you are able to have with your child especially once they are old enough to realize how lucky they are, and the ramifications of what their life would have been like without your support. Thank you so much!

To everyone else, I apologize, I know that conversatinal posts are frowned upon, but being new, I cannot send personal messages and I had to let Bluegrass know the way I felt.

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I think that is the best plan. Get your reputation and experience. I ahve not worked with any transitioned nurses but I worked with a Cardiovascular Surgeon who did and it was very public at a large medical center. The staff were fine with it and so were the patients that I know of...I never heard a patient not want that MD. However I live in MA and they are progressive about these things. Where you live might have a larger impact so I would navigate to those states.

I never had an issue with her and I think once transitioned she was a better physician living her true self.

Thanks for the post, I live in the Midwest and am currently searching for new, more hospitable places to begin my career and I had not considered Mass. That makes sense and is good to know! Also, I think I saw a similar comment about a doctor's practice improving on a really old thread...I can completely see how that would be the case. I can't imagine what finally being free of such a difficult, daily internal struggle must feel like or do for a person. I hope I am able to feel that one day soon.

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Kaley, I don't know firsthand what you're going through, but I have a friend who is transgender and know what a long road it was for her. I agree with Esme and would also add that CT is a very progressive state as well :) I hope that soon you no longer will feel that internal struggle. Best to you.

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Depends on what area you live in

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BluegrassRN,

To everyone else, I apologize, I know that conversatinal posts are frowned upon, but being new, I cannot send personal messages and I had to let Bluegrass know the way I felt.

No need apologize. Your response was beautiful, and brought me to tears!

About 15 years ago, I worked inpatient hospice with a nurse who transitioned (male to female). Of course there was some whispered discussion among some staff, but the nurse was always quite open and willing to share information with the curious, even though I saw situations when "the curious" became quite tongue tied in response to her willingness to discuss her transition !

She was and is a wonderful, compassionate nurse (as I suspect you will be)......even 15 years ago I just didn't see negative responses from patients or from the families of patients.

I sincerely wish you luck in your nursing career, and wish you love in your life. You are very brave and will likely be a true inspiration to others you will encounter in the future.

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Specializes in Critical care.

To further some of what's already been touched on, I'm thinking the best reception from otherwise detractors is molded by you by approaching questions in a matter-of-fact, open and confident manner. Your acceptance models theirs, it seems. Getting flustered or defensive seems to "feed the trolls". I've had three patients that were M to F. Their physicians (foreign-born and from socially conservative countries) seemed to have the most negative reactions in my observations.

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Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.

It's all going to depend on where you live. Where I'm from it wouldn't be first page news to say the least. Here, no one cares as long as your real. I thought all this bull about LBGT went out a long time ago. Be who you want to be and that's it. You say either way your going to have a long hurtful road...if I were you I would move to an area of the country more welcoming to the trans community then where you are or situate yourself with resources you can depend on where you are.

Who cares what others think. Transition is stressful, but you should be happy at the same time. I don't agree it's OK to wait to appease others and all that ****. You need to be true to yourself...not anyone else. A good counselor will guide you.

Keep the faith :up:

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Specializes in ER.

It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally, I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.

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Specializes in Pediatric/Adolescent, Med-Surg.
It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.[/quote']

It really isn't your place to judge. While you may have religious beliefs that condemn being transgender, that is not the purpose of this discussion. This thread should be a place of support and encouragement for someone that is arguably going through one of the most stressful times of their lives.

Also, you seem to assume all transgender people are male to female, when there are plenty that are female to male

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What I don't understand is why everyone cannot just LEAVE people ALONE!!! Seriously! No one is without sin and no one is a saint either - so it is rather hypocritical to judge or talk or whisper about someone else when you are not perfect yourself!! And just leave people alone - they are not bothering you so why bother them!! Clean you own house first before you look at others houses!

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It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally, I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.

Me personally, I am not for bigots! As a nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the nurses out there are bigots by choice. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent anyone realising what a judgemental, nasty person you are.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

I could care less, unless it brings a lot of outside drama into the workplace (ie: nasty divorce bleeding over into work). That part I want nothing to do with. If you are professional, remain emotionally stable, are happy and a good team member, I really don't care if you are a girl, a boy, a frog or a robot. If you are nice, respectful and helpful to me, I will be nice, respectful and helpful to you and happy to relate to you as one of the girls and as a nurse. If you still provide excellent patient care, are still accountable for your actions, are still able to deal with the stress of nursing along with the stress of your transition, then I am not going to add to that stress.

Not glossing over. It will be hard. I promise not to add to the difficulty. I think you are prepared that not everyone will be that way, but hopefully you are seeing perhaps more of them will be than you thought.

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