Thanks for taking the time to read this and hopefully providing your input. I am new to this site, and nursing. I have passed my nursing program and will be taking the nclex this summer. Unfortunately, I am at another more confusing/vital crossroad in my life where I need to decide whether I have the courage to be who I always felt I was or resign myself to living out my life in the manner that my family and society thinks that I should. Sadly, right now, all I can see is a great deal of emotional pain with either path I choose.
I was hoping that some of you might have experience either as a person transitioning or as the co-worker of someone who has transitioned while they were working at a hospital. I am particularly interested in male to female experiences since that is my potential situation and also because it so commonly elicits a much stronger negative reaction than female to male. How did the hospital, staff and patients react? How supportive or unsupportive were they?
For those of you that do not have any direct experience, how do you think that you and your team would feel about it if it was one of yours that came out and began transitioning? How would you like the person to go about things to make you feel more comfortable with it? I am looking for a realistic picture, not just reassurances. I really want to know the truth as transitioning while in a job seems like the scariest thing next to explaining this to my religious parents.
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally, I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.
Yep, we are here for our patients, not our personal lives. Your religious convictions and personal prejudices are yours to own and account for (also known as....your personal life). The OPs lifestyle choices are theirs in the same vein. Neither one of you should be anything but professional at work. I can see nothing unprofessional about someone being a woman versus a man when it comes to patient care. Can you?
The question should not be whether or not someone agrees with the OPs decisions. The question should be whether or not the OP can provide good, safe, evidence based patient care in a professional setting and how to minimize this choice disrupting that. Period. The rest of it is none of anyone's business - not yours, not mine, not the patients.
There will be tittering, no doubt about it. Can I understand what the OP is going through? Nope. I am a girl in a girl's body. I humbly submit to my lack of understanding and pray when I am in situations nobody else can understand, when I make choices others struggle with, that I am shown grace. My prayer for this is acted out in my treatment of others whose choices I have no frame of reference for. I can't understand the decision. I can feel compassion for the need to make it. After all, I am a nurse. Perhaps you never make choices that others would question....?
Do you find it hard to work with all those patients and the medical problems their "sinful" lifestyle choices have created? Because that is who you work with every day anyway. Or are you only kind, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing to them because you get paid to be?
It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally, I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.
Thank you for giving me your honest opinion, as I said in my post, I was looking for an accurate picture and not just reassurances. Although all of the reassurances have been much appreciated and very helpful! You say that it bothers you.....If I may ask, what bothers you about it the most? I am not sure where transgender is a sin in the bible, but I gave up worrying about that years ago. Sadly, I lost my religion fairly early in life because of this. I do appreciate as a Christian that you recognize the equality of sin though, so many like to gloss over that fact when it comes to the things that they do. I always find it amusing that the fear of so many is that god will turn his back on this country because they accept a small percentage of the population, and not for the essence of what our country is becoming. Greed is a far worse offense in the bible and is mentioned way more times, as is turning your back on or exploiting the poor.....yet that has kind of become "our thang". Professionally, with regard to patients, I agree completely, and it is part of the reason i made the inquiry to prepare as best as I can. I don't plan on making it an issue for anyone else, but I am pretty sure that people will make it an issue for me at some point.
I have no experience with transgendered co-workers or co-workers in transition that I know of. I just want to wish you peace and good health on your journey.
It seems as though everyone that has posted is very supportive. Me personally, I am not for transgender! As a male nurse, it really bothers me to think that some of the women nurses out there are men by birth. All I can really say is, this may be best kept to yourself at the work place to prevent any unwanted coworker eyeballing or gossip. As far as your religious parents, (I am extremely religious also) and one sin is no greater than another,whether it be murder, pride, stealing etc, (and you will be accused of sinning by the religious community). As stated above, no matter what you do we are here for our patients-not our personal lives.
How does this affect you one way or another? As a male nurse I would think you would have empathy towards the OP. Not too long ago some people didn't want a male as a nurse either....
OP I think as long as you are a competent nurse you shouldn't have a problem. That's not like not wanting to work with someone bc of their ethnicity. Don't get me wrong you might get some people that may gossip or generally don't understand but I believe as long as you are open and honest then you will be okay. Now concerning your parents I hope that they accept you religious or not. I have a soon to be 6 year old and there is nothing in this world that she could ever do to make me not love or accept her. I believe your parents feel the same way although it might take them a while to come around. I wish you well :)
It really isn't your place to judge. While you may have religious beliefs that condemn being transgender, that is not the purpose of this discussion. This thread should be a place of support and encouragement for someone that is arguably going through one of the most stressful times of their lives.
Also, you seem to assume all transgender people are male to female, when there are plenty that are female to male
First, this post is about seeking all sides of issue not just support. REread the initial opening thread. It states "How would you like the person to go about things to make you feel more comfortable with it? I am looking for a realistic picture, not just reassurances. I really want to know the truth"
Second, I am not judging. Neither is it judging to call an apple-an apple or an orange-an orange. People are way too sensitive to the judging topic. It is not judging to call it what it is.
To answer Kaley1's questions, someone has to give an answer as to the opposition. My post was and is not intended to convict or offend. My words are not typed with emotion so please don't attach emotion to them.
What I don't understand is why everyone cannot just LEAVE people ALONE!!! Seriously! No one is without sin and no one is a saint either - so it is rather hypocritical to judge or talk or whisper about someone else when you are not perfect yourself!! And just leave people alone - they are not bothering you so why bother them!! Clean you own house first before you look at others houses!
I agree. I am not the one who will join the gossip. I am simply stating what I know we as people can expect.
Yep, we are here for our patients, not our personal lives. Your religious convictions and personal prejudices are yours to own and account for (also known as....your personal life). The OPs lifestyle choices are theirs in the same vein. Neither one of you should be anything but professional at work. I can see nothing unprofessional about someone being a woman versus a man when it comes to patient care. Can you?
The question should not be whether or not someone agrees with the OPs decisions. The question should be whether or not the OP can provide good, safe, evidence based patient care in a professional setting and how to minimize this choice disrupting that. Period. The rest of it is none of anyone's business - not yours, not mine, not the patients.
There will be tittering, no doubt about it. Can I understand what the OP is going through? Nope. I am a girl in a girl's body. I humbly submit to my lack of understanding and pray when I am in situations nobody else can understand, when I make choices others struggle with, that I am shown grace. My prayer for this is acted out in my treatment of others whose choices I have no frame of reference for. I can't understand the decision. I can feel compassion for the need to make it. After all, I am a nurse. Perhaps you never make choices that others would question....?
Do you find it hard to work with all those patients and the medical problems their "sinful" lifestyle choices have created? Because that is who you work with every day anyway. Or are you only kind, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing to them because you get paid to be?
I agree with you completely. I could work with Kaley1 just fine and I do pray for those out there that I feel need it. I am not cold or "nasty person".
Thank you for giving me your honest opinion, as I said in my post, I was looking for an accurate picture and not just reassurances. Although all of the reassurances have been much appreciated and very helpful! You say that it bothers you.....If I may ask, what bothers you about it the most? I am not sure where transgender is a sin in the bible, but I gave up worrying about that years ago. Sadly, I lost my religion fairly early in life because of this. I do appreciate as a Christian that you recognize the equality of sin though, so many like to gloss over that fact when it comes to the things that they do. I always find it amusing that the fear of so many is that god will turn his back on this country because they accept a small percentage of the population, and not for the essence of what our country is becoming. Greed is a far worse offense in the bible and is mentioned way more times, as is turning your back on or exploiting the poor.....yet that has kind of become "our thang". Professionally, with regard to patients, I agree completely, and it is part of the reason i made the inquiry to prepare as best as I can. I don't plan on making it an issue for anyone else, but I am pretty sure that people will make it an issue for me at some point.
Thank you! I only intended to answer your posting question not stir up a hornets nest with all the other nurses that disagree with my thoughts and what I believe others will say and do towards what "WE" do not understand. As far as the equality of sin- when a person breaks the law, they are guilty and according to the bible when one breaks even one law it is reckoned as lawless/lawlessness. I do not know you personally, I do not know anything about you other than what you allow us to know. I do not judge you in anyway. Like posted above we must pull the plank from our own eye before helping our brother remove the splinter from his. Everyone in this world must make their stand based on his/her values and beliefs no matter what anyone else thinks.
Specializes in ACNP-BC, Adult Critical Care, Cardiology.
OP, I would have said keep it on the down low and don't tell anyone until you have established yourself in your place of employment if I were still working in the Midwest where you are. Now that I have been living and working in San Francisco, the epicenter of Lesbian, Gay, and Transgender tolerance and acceptance, I will say that it really depends on where you are.
Because here, I work with all flavors of transgender professionals from those who just prefer to dress in the opposite gender's clothes (male nurses coming to work in female style scrubs and hair/make-up, female nurses wearing male style scrubs and short hair, no make up) to those who have made a full transition from male to female or female to male. It's a non-issue and if it is an internal issue to some, they don't express it out in the open.
Nurse SMS, MSN, RN
6,843 Posts
Yep, we are here for our patients, not our personal lives. Your religious convictions and personal prejudices are yours to own and account for (also known as....your personal life). The OPs lifestyle choices are theirs in the same vein. Neither one of you should be anything but professional at work. I can see nothing unprofessional about someone being a woman versus a man when it comes to patient care. Can you?
The question should not be whether or not someone agrees with the OPs decisions. The question should be whether or not the OP can provide good, safe, evidence based patient care in a professional setting and how to minimize this choice disrupting that. Period. The rest of it is none of anyone's business - not yours, not mine, not the patients.
There will be tittering, no doubt about it. Can I understand what the OP is going through? Nope. I am a girl in a girl's body. I humbly submit to my lack of understanding and pray when I am in situations nobody else can understand, when I make choices others struggle with, that I am shown grace. My prayer for this is acted out in my treatment of others whose choices I have no frame of reference for. I can't understand the decision. I can feel compassion for the need to make it. After all, I am a nurse. Perhaps you never make choices that others would question....?
Do you find it hard to work with all those patients and the medical problems their "sinful" lifestyle choices have created? Because that is who you work with every day anyway. Or are you only kind, compassionate, forgiving, nurturing to them because you get paid to be?