Today after clinical I broke down in Tears!!:(

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I just don't know if I can do this. I am graduating in 6 weeks in the LPN program and I have 5 days of rotation on a Pediatric Floor in a major hospital. This was my 2nd day of clinical for it. I just honestly feel completely lost. I don't know if it's my program or what, but all we did today was pass medication.....that's it. I have never once put in a foley before, I have changed a dressing maybe 2 times, I have maybe given a shot 1 time...... that's it. I don't know nursing at all. Today I was giving meds and my instructor asked me about 3-4 medications that this patient was scheduled to take, and I had no idea, all i knew was that one was for pain and the others were laxatives. She drilled me with more questions and I just didn't know it. Also I'm SO nervous during clinical I am AFRAID. Maybe partly because i'm shy but mainly because i don't feel confident at all! During pre conference in clincal she drills me with more questions and I have no idea. I feel dumb and I don't know if maybe it's because I'm not real strong in science or what, but I can't seem to do this. During clinical she pulled me to the side and said that I should know what these medications were and also how all the labs and everything tie into the patient. I just didn't know nursing is so much science. If I would have known that I wouldn't have gone into it. I would have became an accountant or something because i love math.

I want your honest opinion here, I don't want people to just say "oh you can do it!" when honestly, maybe I should know everything a nurse does by now since I'm practically graduating in 6 weeks. I'm just thinking about quitting I am soooooooooo down right now. What do you think? I'm one inch away from quitting.

Specializes in PeriOperative.

Most, if not all, of the great nurses I know can tell you about the day they cried in nursing school.

Everyone is in the same boat you're in. They're learning. Everyone has a bad day when you can hardly remember your own name. Great nurses cry when these things happen because they care.

I went to my clinical 5 days after having surgery and was told that my attendance that day showed a concerning lack of judgment, and I was probably a danger to my patients. A friend of mine forgot to hook up suction one day after her CI reminded her, and she was told all of the terrible things that could have befallen that patient because she had forgotten. Another girl was trying to clean a bariatric patient by herself and the IV got pulled out. There was blood on the newly changed linens and walls, and she didn't know to call housekeeping, so she tried to clean it with alcohol prep pads, missing lunch.

Feeling overwhelmed as a nursing student is a good thing. You won't start your job with the impression that you already know everything.

Good luck!

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I just cry sometimes because I just feel like this nursing program has brought my self confidence down, i have low self esteem, i'm insecure about things, i've lost touch with some friends because of studying for nursing ALL the time, &&& i feel completely dumb....... I wasn't like this when I did pre-reqs and I wasn't like this during my freshman year of college...

I just don't know. It's not like I don't love my patients, It's just that I'm very unconfident and feel very very very stupid and i've never felt this way...nursing school caused it all.

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It doesn't help any when your instructor pulls you aside and says i should know this already. Even as a nurse, can't one carry a drug book?? or are they expected to learn them all on the top of their head?? I mean really there is absolutely no way I'm gonna learn to know them....some of them are long and weird wording. and as for LAB results, I'm not going to know that unless I look it up in my lab book. Otherwise I can't keep all that info in my head...theres just no way.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, Education.

It sounds like you're really uncomfortable with this situation. Frankly, I don't blame you. However, if you aren't able to obtain patient information like meds, labs, H and P etc the day before, you should probably go in about an hour early in order to be prepared to take care of your patients. In nursing school, I HAD to know all the pharmokinetics behind each and every med I gave. You also may need to be proactive in your learning and look for new experiences, like foley insertion, injections, IV starts, NGT insertion etc. You can't expect all of these skill opportunities for fall into your lap. You have to do the work in order to learn what you need in order to be the safe an competent nurse you worked so hard to become. Best of luck!

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So that would mean that I would have to probably be at the hospital at 5am to prep when my clinical starts at 6am. Therefore, I would have to get up at 330am to get ready and drive an hr to be there at 5am. There is just no possible way that I can prep the day of, unless I want to be a zombie.

ohhh nursing school sucks.

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.
It doesn't help any when your instructor pulls you aside and says i should know this already. Even as a nurse, can't one carry a drug book?? or are they expected to learn them all on the top of their head?? I mean really there is absolutely no way I'm gonna learn to know them....some of them are long and weird wording. and as for LAB results, I'm not going to know that unless I look it up in my lab book. Otherwise I can't keep all that info in my head...theres just no way.

Carry the med book with you during clinical if you must. That is what I did when I could not look up my patient's meds the day before. I use a med book almost daily now as a nurse. Just let the instructor know that you would not give a med you did not know without looking it up first. Instructors just want to know that you will be safe. They are not expecting you to know all of these meds. Nobody does.

I agree that the instructor should not be saying that you should know this by now though. Just take it one clinical at a time.

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You don't learn many skills in school these days. You have to learn them on the job. Nursing isn't "the skills" as much as "the why" of doing the skills. They come with practice. And there will always be a skill you have to figure out for the first time or the first time in years. (It's really rare I give an IM injection. I always go online and review my IM spots before I give one because I do them so rarely.) And if you remember "the why" of everything, or at least enough to be able to review it really quickly when it's time to do it, then you'll be ok.

Carry a med book around with you. When you get a job, there's going to be standard drugs given in your facility. For my floor, I know seizure meds and I know respiratory meds out the yin-yang, but when I get a weird GI med (and by weird I mean anything other than reglan, zofran or a probiotic), I have to look it up. There will come a time when you don't have to look up everything, just occasionally look it up. But until that time, have a med book. And when you go home, try to learn about the meds you gave, the diagnoses you had that day a bit more in depth, and that way you'll be prepared for the next time.

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So that would mean that I would have to probably be at the hospital at 5am to prep when my clinical starts at 6am. Therefore, I would have to get up at 330am to get ready and drive an hr to be there at 5am. There is just no possible way that I can prep the day of, unless I want to be a zombie.

ohhh nursing school sucks.

is there any way you can schedule yourself not to work the night before clinical? This way you could get to bed by 830/900 and get up at 330 and get to the hospital at 5. maybe even a half-hour of prep, get up at 4.

I think you should embrace the suck and get through these next six weeks however you can. A previous poster mentioned office jobs and I think that is great idea. Medical offices hire LPNs to work as medical assistants sometimes, and what they do is what you mentioned what you wanted to do. The pay will not be as good as LTC or hospital, but I am sure it will be better than what you could get if you did not finish.

work for a while, then decide if you want to change careers. You may just be having some "real world is almost here" jitters.

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Specializes in ER OR LTC Code Blue Trauma Dog.
It doesn't help any when your instructor pulls you aside and says i should know this already. Even as a nurse, can't one carry a drug book?? or are they expected to learn them all on the top of their head??.

Yes, I have often observed well seasoned nurses, nurse practitioners and even MD's refer to drug books on many, many occasions and long after they finished school so you will not be alone.

There is no shame using reference materials on the job. However, there is issues in making serious med errors.

I have come to realize many years later, (and you will too:) ) that the real intention behind any nursing instructors actions is not actually intended to make your life miserable. Contrary to this popular belief, they merely intend to serve the best interests of yourself and your patient at the end of the day.

Obviously.., and even you have to openly admit..., we can't be going around giving the wrong meds to our patients or have absolutely no idea what meds they are getting or have any idea what meds do harm to them. Trust me, that is the only intention behind your nursing instructors actions.

We have all been there in your nursing shoes... I remember feeling like a complete dolt at times in similar situations. I think I would have preferred to have paraded myself around with a bedpan on my head in the hallway for the remainder of my shift, rather than face the wrath of my unit drill sargent.. oops, I mean my nursing instructor. :)

I understand the enormous stress on your shoulders must be like right now. Hmmm.. Six weeks away, everything being crammed in your head at the last minute, nursing instructors patrolling around at every turn trying to catch everyone making even the slightest mistakes and constantly nitpicking everyone about how the linen on the pillowcases is particularly arranged just to drive everyone absolutely nuts and out of their minds, big NCLEX exam coming up...probobly 2 hours of sleep a night for the last 8 weeks Sooooo. yeah...:) I have absolutely no doubt in my mind you are probably wound up tighter than a guitar string on the verge of snapping itself . Yup, I would say there is just a teeny weeny little bit of anxiety going on there right now huh? :o

Hey there.... Take a little time to clear your head and take a little break... Do some deep breathing exercises, unwind a bit and do something nice for yourself. You will get through this OK?

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Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.

I graduated in 2008 with my ADN from a community college. I am an extremely nervous person who has self esteem issues. I wanted to quit so many times in those 2 years. Especially during the last semester. I would shake when I seen my instructor coming. I was in tears at least weekly during clinicals. She would pull me aside to a private room and say some of the most horrible things to me. I will never forget the day she said, "Would you like someone like you taking care of your mother"? I was stuck with this non supportive, lazy ass instructor for 15 weeks. I gained 12 lbs and nearly had a nervous breakdown. To this day I cannot drive past that hospital I had those clinicals in. I also was so beat down by this instructor that I felt I would never be able to cope in a hospital setting. By the time I graduated I had never inserted a foley, had only done one sterile dressing, and had barely hung any IV meds. Of course all of these things had been done in lab but it is different when you are doing them on a real person. 2 weeks before graduating I had told this instructor that I was going to drop out and would repeat the semester next year and work as an LPN. The instructor was agreeable to this. My other instructors when hearing about this would not allow me to drop out and had me come back to school. They told my current instructor that she had to work with me and that they never had any problems with me. I only knew this because a classmate of mine heard this through the grapevine.

I know how you feel. It does feel overwhelming. Being a nurse is much better than being a student. Those skills will come once you are on the floor. Find a supportive nurse who will help you through these skills. They are just skills and can be learned through practice. Critical thinking will also take time. Nobody comes out of nursing school knowing everything. When you become a nurse I would write down things you don't know or are unfamiliar with and research them at home. I do it all of the time as there is not a whole lot of time on the floor for this.

I would definitely know your meds. If you don't know what they are just tell the instructor you have to look it up. Carry a med book with you. I would rather give the meds later than make a potential error that may harm a patient.Also, focus on what you do well with the patients. I am not the best person with skills and I learn things everysingle day. I still get nervous when talking with Drs and I still use the old med book almost daily. I have a good bedside manner that makes my people feel they are truly cared about and I listen to them. Kindness and compassion go a long way with patients. I feel it takes a whole lot of nurses with different strengths to make a good team on any floor.

And then again, some instructors and students are just not a good fit. Another nursing student sent me this while I was going through my ordeal with this instructor's bullying ways. It made me feel better at the time.

"Many nurse educators thrive on the feeling of superiority that comes from controlling students and junior faculty and their futures. This abuse of power is related to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, discontent, and personal envy, often with a “Jekyll and Hyde” component. Individual educators are only part of the quandary. Some academic centers subscribe to the steadfast education philosophy that students need to suffer in order to learn. Nursing curricula, testing, and grading are exhausting and often based on minutiae. Clinical paperwork can be monumental, and unrealistic expectations of both students and junior faculty abound. A number of education institutions merely give “lip service” to adult learning principles and place minimal value on students’ past experiences or their right to be treated as an adult. Some educators even go as far as to brag about their program’s attrition rate as a correlation to the program's rigor and superiority."

Please finish your degree. There are so many possibilities in nursing.

This is an amazing story and you are obviously very kind and compassionate, not only to your patients but to your fellow nurses. I am so glad that you were not lost to an abusive educational system. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I think you have inspired many people today, not just the OP.

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Specializes in Gerontology, nursing education.
I just cry sometimes because I just feel like this nursing program has brought my self confidence down, i have low self esteem, i'm insecure about things, i've lost touch with some friends because of studying for nursing ALL the time, &&& i feel completely dumb....... I wasn't like this when I did pre-reqs and I wasn't like this during my freshman year of college...

I just don't know. It's not like I don't love my patients, It's just that I'm very unconfident and feel very very very stupid and i've never felt this way...nursing school caused it all.

I can't really add much to what has already been said except I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. Nursing school at every level is challenging and you are far from being the only person whose self-esteem has taken a hit during this time. Please don't call yourself "dumb". You were smart enough to get this far in your program and right now, your anxiety is making it more difficult for you to learn and retain what you've learned. I will be rooting for you to get through this and make the best decision for you and your future career. But please don't call yourself "stupid" or put yourself down. You sound like a caring person and I think you may have a lot to offer to the patients who will be in your care. Look at your screen name and live by your words. I wish you the best! :hug:

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Specializes in Operating Room.

I'm going to be blunt and sorry if it sounds negative..I think you can do this. The question is, do you want to? While certain stressors go away after graduation, new ones pop up. If your heart really isn't in this, then you will be in way over your head.

Nursing is all about science and critical thinking. Yes, we assess patients, take vitals etc. But seeing as we are patient advocates first and foremost, we have to know when things are "off". We are expected to catch mistakes before they can harm a patient and to do this we have to understand the "why" behind everything. Or at the very least, know how to utilize various resources to find out the answer.

Like I said, I think you can do this but it sounds like you pretty much dread everything about nursing. There is no shame in realizing that nursing isn't for you. You are young. Take stock of what really interests you, where your strengths are, and go from there..Best of luck.:)

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