Today after clinical I broke down in Tears!!:(

[believeallispossible]

I just don't know if I can do this. I am graduating in 6 weeks in the LPN program and I have 5 days of rotation on a Pediatric Floor in a major hospital. This was my 2nd day of clinical for it. I just honestly feel completely lost. I don't know if it's my program or what, but all we did today was pass medication.....that's it. I have never once put in a foley before, I have changed a dressing maybe 2 times, I have maybe given a shot 1 time...... that's it. I don't know nursing at all. Today I was giving meds and my instructor asked me about 3-4 medications that this patient was scheduled to take, and I had no idea, all i knew was that one was for pain and the others were laxatives. She drilled me with more questions and I just didn't know it. Also I'm SO nervous during clinical I am AFRAID. Maybe partly because i'm shy but mainly because i don't feel confident at all! During pre conference in clincal she drills me with more questions and I have no idea. I feel dumb and I don't know if maybe it's because I'm not real strong in science or what, but I can't seem to do this. During clinical she pulled me to the side and said that I should know what these medications were and also how all the labs and everything tie into the patient. I just didn't know nursing is so much science. If I would have known that I wouldn't have gone into it. I would have became an accountant or something because i love math.

I want your honest opinion here, I don't want people to just say "oh you can do it!" when honestly, maybe I should know everything a nurse does by now since I'm practically graduating in 6 weeks. I'm just thinking about quitting I am soooooooooo down right now. What do you think? I'm one inch away from quitting.

[JudithRN24]

I understand how you feel. I had those same feelings during nursing school. I totally agree that before you give a patient medication you should know why your giving the medication (and all the pertinent lab values). You say you feel like a dumbie, but I seriously doubt your a dumbie. I had friends in nursing school that were getting A's in theory but they failed clinicals. My opinion is that some of us get flustered during clinical. It doesn't mean that you aren't clinically competent. However, some of us are very nervous around instructors and it hinders our performance.

My recommendation is that if you finish the program and then decide if nursing is for you. Perhaps you can search for a job in a clinic setting. Sometimes the busy hospital setting can be very overwhelming. Regardless of where you decide to work remember that patient safety is number one. If you ever aren't 100% sure of why your giving meds then you shouldn't administer it. You should always have a drug book and should use the facility's drug information manuals ie..micromedix, etc. I wish you the best.

[LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN]

I don't know you guys, I guess I just figured that nursing was when the nurse brings you into the room and gets your weight, height, blood pressure, eye chart, assesses you....just like what they do in the clinic setting. ...

What your describing there is a MA (medical assistant) as a LPN you could get similar office MA type jobs. The MA do some skills like draw blood give injections and take vitals before the MD sees the patient.

My opinion MAs know the how (of some skills) but not the why, and that is what makes a nurse. Nurses not only know the how but the why things are done so that you can always be thinking what is best for the patient and not blindly following MD orders.

I think that with 6 weeks left push yourself through school and then apply to office jobs.

I had a clinical rotation through a childrens hospital where we didn't know what patients we were getting untill the morning of, so we had an hour before meds were due to research our patients

We also had a list of common pediatric meds and disease to be familiar with prior to starting the clinical, then once at clinical and there was down time use the resources there, I have yet to be at a clinical site where the unit did not have a med book somewhere and medical resources on the computer for staff use.

It is always okay to say "I don't know the answer to that yet, but I will find out and get back to you" and then get back to your instructor

One of my first year teachers would "ball and wall" us or so she said, basically completly drill us untill we were on the verge of tears or untill we didn't remeber our own name. I hated it, but the content that I was drilled on happened to show up on the test the next week and she wanted us to really know our stuff and for us to know that we knew it.

[Lizzy88]

I think you don't really want to be a nurse, perhaps something or someone "push" you to do it? Reading all your posts here, I have the feeling you really dread working as a CNA and feel you will dread being a nurse, perhaps you don't have it in your heart. A lot of posts here are giving you good vibes and still you are dreading becoming a nurse. Not to be mean, but why go further when you know what you are getting into and you know you won't like it? or I may be wrong and you end up liking it. Only you know....

[laynaER]

Get a pocket medbook to carry around with you so you always have something handy!

I'm just curious about how you made it all the way to 6 weeks before graduation and are now realizing that nursing is a lot of science....

*scratching my head*

[laynaER]

I don't know you guys, I guess I just figured that nursing was when the nurse brings you into the room and gets your weight, height, blood pressure, eye chart, assesses you....just like what they do in the clinic setting. That's why I figured there would be no Science involved. I have my CNA and i work at the hospital (sad to say but hate it). Everything is chaotic there. Rooms are too small to get around, 2 pts per room, old equipment.....etc etc etc. As a CNA I get walked on, get told what to do. I also worked at a nursing home and hated that too, short staffed ALL the time and ran my butt off. I guess I thought nursing would be different. But I have met a lot of mean nurses and nurses that eat their young. Why is that btw?? I don't think I want to be in this profession...but i'll try to stick it out, even though during clinical I feel like I am running around with my head chopped off.

I can study real good and I have achieved good grades in my pre-req courses, but when it comes down to critical thinking, and taking those nursing tests in which all are correct but "choose the right answer," I am just a dumbie. I guess maybe I don't want a career where you never stop learning. I don't want to feel like a dumbie forever...

The wise thing to do before you jump into any new endeavor is to do your RESEARCH. Sounds like you didn't do your research and came into nursing with this preconceived notion about what nursing was going to be like. If you think this is not for you, then please do yourself and your future patients a favor and explore other carerrs. You will cheat your patient out of a knowledgable nurse who knows, cares, and actually wants to help and you will cheat yourself out of happiness.

YOu don't want a career where you never stop learning? That sounds like you don't want a career at all then. I don't mean to come off so harsh but there is no field where you just learned all you can and now you never have to learn anything again. Why wouldn't you want to continue learning? Knowledge is power. Not in just career aspects, in life aspects. You never stop learning. I really hope you get things together because I'm very worried for you. Good luck!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I have never once put in a foley before, I have changed a dressing maybe 2 times, I have maybe given a shot 1 time...... that's it. I don't know nursing at all.

You cannot possibly learn all there is to know about nursing in a 12-month LPN program. It's impossible. Most of your learning will take place on the job and in the real world. Today's nursing programs simply seem to be prepping the student to pass NCLEX on the first attempt.

By the time I had completed an LVN/LPN program in 2005, I had never inserted a foley into a live person. I had only given one IM injection and one SQ injection. I had changed only a couple of dressings. I had performed a moderate amount of trach care and feeding tube care. The vast majority of my clinical experience during the LVN program consisted of the p.o. medication pass.

RN school offered even worse clinical experiences, since all I did during my clinical rotations was paperwork, process recordings, and care plans. I performed no hands-on skills during the clinical portion of my RN program.

I have learned the vast majority of my skills on the job, and it looks like you are going to have to take this path, too. Find a mentor who likes being around newer nurses. Find a working environment that is supportive of new grads. Good luck to you!

[nursel56]

Well, believeallispossible, the only thing I would advise is DO NOT QUIT WITH ONLY SIX WEEKS TO GO!!

OK now that's decided. Moving right along. Can you describe how you are studying pharmacology? Yes, "even an LPN" should have that knowledge, and it sounds like that is your number one stumbling block, which in turn causes you to have anxiety attacks when the instructors are doing their job, which seems like "grilling" to you because you are resisting it so much. If you are lucky enough to be good at math you actually are at an advantage with the science aspects of medication administration.

Don't freak out about how many times you've done x or y procedure, either. If you have a good foundational knowledge in school, you can learn most of the specifics of whatever job you have when you are orienting. I never did a Foley in school, I gave some IMs and a Harris Flush. Everything else was learned on the job.

It's really important for you to step back, take some deep breaths and calmly think this through. You may still be able to get a job in a clinic or doctor's office with your LPN, but the MA job (what it sounds like you really want to do) can't work anyplace other than that. You will still need to know your medications through and through wherever you work.

Hang in there- I wish the best for you. :)

[believeallispossible]

I do want a career where I can learn, but as for nursing, every day is different...every day I have to learn something i've never done before, esp as a new grad. I might feel confident one day and then the next day i'm completely unsure of myself. That fact just scares me! Teachers, accountants, marketing majors on the other hand ..... every day is usually is the same, maybe not exact, but learning doesn't change dramatically from one day to another. One day as a nurse I could be taking care of a patient with a fracture. Another day I could be taking care of a patient who recently had a heart attack the night before.... every day is completely different care.

maybe i'm wrong. idk.....

[believeallispossible]

Thanks for all of your advice. I'll stick through with it and see how it goes from there. I'm guessing the main reason why i'm having trouble with my meds is because I took pharmocology 2 years ago. Also, other clinical rotations we could prep the night before so I would have time to look up meds and be prepared. As for the summer session, I feel like they are just trying to rush us through, and so therefore, since i'm not prepping, I'm not going to know my medications. Since Pharm was 2 years ago, it makes it even harder. I'll carry a med book w me from now on.

[sistasoul]

Hi,

I believe,

I graduated in 2008 with my ADN from a community college. I am an extremely nervous person who has self esteem issues. I wanted to quit so many times in those 2 years. Especially during the last semester. I would shake when I seen my instructor coming. I was in tears at least weekly during clinicals. She would pull me aside to a private room and say some of the most horrible things to me. I will never forget the day she said, "Would you like someone like you taking care of your mother"? I was stuck with this non supportive, lazy ass instructor for 15 weeks. I gained 12 lbs and nearly had a nervous breakdown. To this day I cannot drive past that hospital I had those clinicals in. I also was so beat down by this instructor that I felt I would never be able to cope in a hospital setting. By the time I graduated I had never inserted a foley, had only done one sterile dressing, and had barely hung any IV meds. Of course all of these things had been done in lab but it is different when you are doing them on a real person. 2 weeks before graduating I had told this instructor that I was going to drop out and would repeat the semester next year and work as an LPN. The instructor was agreeable to this. My other instructors when hearing about this would not allow me to drop out and had me come back to school. They told my current instructor that she had to work with me and that they never had any problems with me. I only knew this because a classmate of mine heard this through the grapevine.

I know how you feel. It does feel overwhelming. Being a nurse is much better than being a student. Those skills will come once you are on the floor. Find a supportive nurse who will help you through these skills. They are just skills and can be learned through practice. Critical thinking will also take time. Nobody comes out of nursing school knowing everything. When you become a nurse I would write down things you don't know or are unfamiliar with and research them at home. I do it all of the time as there is not a whole lot of time on the floor for this.

I would definitely know your meds. If you don't know what they are just tell the instructor you have to look it up. Carry a med book with you. I would rather give the meds later than make a potential error that may harm a patient.

Also, focus on what you do well with the patients. I am not the best person with skills and I learn things everysingle day. I still get nervous when talking with Drs and I still use the old med book almost daily. I have a good bedside manner that makes my people feel they are truly cared about and I listen to them. Kindness and compassion go a long way with patients. I feel it takes a whole lot of nurses with different strengths to make a good team on any floor.

And then again, some instructors and students are just not a good fit. Another nursing student sent me this while I was going through my ordeal with this instructor's bullying ways. It made me feel better at the time.

"Many nurse educators thrive on the feeling of superiority that comes from controlling students and junior faculty and their futures. This abuse of power is related to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, discontent, and personal envy, often with a “Jekyll and Hyde” component. Individual educators are only part of the quandary. Some academic centers subscribe to the steadfast education philosophy that students need to suffer in order to learn. Nursing curricula, testing, and grading are exhausting and often based on minutiae. Clinical paperwork can be monumental, and unrealistic expectations of both students and junior faculty abound. A number of education institutions merely give “lip service” to adult

learning principles and place minimal value on students’ past experiences or their right to be treated as an adult. Some educators even go as far as to brag about their program’s

attrition rate as a correlation to the program's rigor and superiority."

Please finish your degree. There are so many possibilities in nursing.

[PatMac10,RN, RN]

I can't tell you from personal experience as I haven't started NS yet, but many Nursing Students and Nurses tell me how they've had to study their assigned patients drugs "pulling drug cards" before the next clinical day. It seems that it is vital to do this b/c they all said that their instructors would expect them to know their patients drugs (and some patients are on 12 and more medicines) the adverse reactions, normal dosages etc... It takes tome, dedication, and preparation. Please don't give up! Work even harder it will be worth it in the end.

[Unsteady]

ok, so I'll strip the sugar-coating and play amateur psychologist for just a second... please don't think me cruel, this probably needs to be said. Your decision is already made. Nothing anyone here could say will change your mind. You hate science? You had to pass science (biology, chemistry, etc) classes to get where you are, right? Were these "clues" not sufficient signs of things to come? Don't BS a BS'er...

I am willing to bet that you have worked as a CNA, gotten a taste for what nursing is all about, and you have decided it is not for you. Fine, there's no shame in this, go be an accountant... BUT, do a little soul searching first... I am concerned that you are 6 weeks from your LPN and you're in a panic that the "real world" is looming just around the bend. Be sure you don't make a rash decision.