Tired of people commenting on my salary

[holdensjane]

how do you react to people who always say "nurses make so much money". Or I always get this "you can afford that comeon thats like a day's salary" Seriously i don't know how to respond to these comments or remarks. People don't seem to realize that I too have bills to pay and can barely save alittle per month. I am a recent new grad and very young. I mean I am single so automatically i get 30% taken out. I take home 3,000 net a month. I pay a thousand towards rent (to live at home to help out my parents), one thousand in student loans (have 70K total). That only leaves me with a thousand. That has to include bills, insurance, and savings towards a downpayment towards a car because our family car is breaking down. Really I can honestly say I don't save at all per month unless you count the savings towards the car, which isn't even very much you can do the math i'm sure. People don't understand that i've had to work my way to where i am now and even now i earn every freakin cent i get, very little of which is actually spent on myself for leisure. How do you guys deal with this, I always feel like an ******* for saying things like "oh I'll have to say up for that" because i feel like people look at me and are like "what does she know about a tight budget". Advice on how to graciously offset these comments or situations?

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

"This is too personal. I'm uncomfortable discussing money."

You might also need some new friends.

[birdgardner]

I guess it all depends where you live. There are places where even a beginning nurse is making a comfortable salary compared to people around her, and places (like where I live) where a beginning nurse's salary is low, low, low compared to the average wage earner's.

In either case, didn't their mothers teach them manners? You don't go around talking how much money someone makes.

[oramar]

I blame some of that on false salaries reported in the news media. When they report average salaries they are way high. Sometimes when they tell the truth they twist it by reporting that top salaries are such and such. What they don't say is that people making that money have all kinds of advance training like CRNA. It gives people the impression that starting salaries for new nurses range around $100,000.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Another possible response is: "I do OK, but I have HUGE student loans to pay back."

I have a graduate degree and have a job most people think of as ideal and well-paying. When people make comments about "great" they think I have it, I try to find gentle ways of reminding them of much time, energy, and money I have invested in my career (4 years undergrad, 2 years MSN, 5 years PhD). The implication is that I deserve the rewards I get and they could get too, if they invested as much as I have.

I also try to remind them that no job (and no life) is perfect.

[TazziRN, RN]

Joe Blow Citizen thinks that we are nothing but bedpan/pill pushers and are overpaid. They have absolutely no idea just how much we do and that, in reality, we are underpaid and that we have bills like everyone else. I think my answer would be something along the lines of "Oh yeah, someday I'll invite you to our next bbq at the mansion."

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

You know, I'm sympathetic because I'm certainly in the same leaky boat, and I make a very good salary. We're scrambling to meet expenses, especially the past couple of years. And it keeps getting worse. The economy is bad and everyone is worried.

But I'm so much better off than my friend who works 60 hours a week as a convenience store clerk and has no insurance to cover her diabetic supplies, and has to walk to work because she cannot afford a car.

So when people mention my salary, I just laugh and say, "What would you pay someone who saved your mother's life? My job is to save lives. Believe me, I think y'all are getting a bargain.":chuckle

[SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN]

OP: I agree with the others that it is no one's business what you make. However, I would like to add a little perspective. I think the problem stems from, as one poster noted, the media and the idea that nurses make a lot of money. Writers don't mention the amount of debt nurses carry from education or the expensive insurance nurses must purchase for protection. Writers only state that starting wages are approximately $60,000 nationwide.

For those of us who have grown up poor and/or have worked two jobs to pay bills (nevermind anything else---there was never anything else) we know $60,000 is a good salary. Speaking for myself, in the past if I heard someone that I knew made more then $40,000/year complain of pay I rolled my eyes and felt insulted (not jealous because I worked hard for what little I had and I was not ashamed).

Again, I think your pay is no one's business. In fact, I think the best thing to do is to either change the subject or only address pay concerns with fellow nurses and others who may understand. I am posting this to point out that your friends who definitely make less then you even if he/she has the same budget constraint WILL NOT understand unless he/she understands basic finance.

For some, hearing about nursing salaries is like hearing about a guaranteed way to win the lottery! In other words, becoming a nurse = automatic wealth. Such people have no idea that in order for you to reach financial security you will be working, paying off debts, saving, and investing just like everyone else in order to experience financial security. Therefore, don't let such expressions or comments hurt. Keep moving forward.

[ICRN2008, BSN, RN]

Because my husband is a software consultant, I get comments like that all the time in regards to his salary. Here's how it normally goes: "What does your husband do for a living?" Me: "He is a computer consultant" Others: "Oh, he must make a lot of money?" Me: Blank stare, as if they didn't say anything. Then I change the subject.

People who make comments like that have no class, and I don't give them the satisfaction of a response.

[justme1972]

I would simply say, "Everyone has different obligations and mine doesn't allow me to live as luxuriously as you think."

If they press further, just politely say, "Would you mind if we talked about something else?"

That is all that should be needed.

[Nursebarebari]

I know how you feel because I have been in that situation myself. My ex-best friend used to comment on my salary and ask me for a loan. My monthly mortgage is $1,600 plus $380 maintenance fee. Then I have to pay for utilities and car insurance. I pay $680 monthly tuition for my 2 boys. In the end, I have very little to save and I do not want two job b'cos I like spending time with my family. So what I say anytime I get a comment on my "high salary" is "Yeah, I make as much as Bill Gate"

[rn4babies63]

You don't have to tell me! My husband recently got laid off and his co-workers told him, at least you don't have to worry about money, your wife's a nurse! We have a house payment, car payment, my son's tuition, as well as myself still paying student loans. Not to mention the normal bills (gas, electric, water, food, etc). Hundreds of dollars a month in gasoline to make that great salary, also. Oh yeah, our other car needs a new engine (1200), new tires, my son's car needs a new tranny and other work. You get the picture...........Still living paycheck to paycheck.

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

I have had people tell me that I need to be an RN rather than an LPN because they make so much more money. For me, money is not always the issue...I knew before hand that I cannot handle RN responsibility and that I would be doing a diservice to the patients, other RNs and the facility to take on a position that I clearly stated I do not want. I know many RNs and others that are in worse shape financially than I am currently in.

Then, I have those that think that any nurse is capable of making serious money. I believe that in most cases, a nurse can get a position easier than most professions, because there will always be sick people, but it depends on what sort of conditions she/he wishes to accept in order to make a living and pay their bills.

I have been on the rude side myself..."Why is it your business...Who cares what you think... I don't have to live for you, but for myself...I deal with what I am comfortable with dealing with" are my usual adrupt responses to nosey people.