Tired of impaired nurses

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Ok...I have been a nurse for almost 20 years and thought I had seen it all. My current employer seems to be a becon for impaired nurses. We currently have 3. The latest one is causing loads of issues. She was a great nurse that worked with us for 1 year. It was found out that she was removing approximately 40 percocets per shift for patients she was not assigned to. Management aproached her and sent her for a drug test. Since she had a personal prescription for the drug, nothing was done. Many of the staff were very uncomfortable when she was around. (She was not signing the MAR--you had to look in the pxysis for the last dose given) Management pushed the issue and she up and quit. Well 6 months go by and she is back (rumor has it that she was terminated from the last place). I questioned my manager about this and she said there would be stipulations. I see none. Her first day back was today and I snooped around in the pxysis. She gave 10 percocet in one shift and once again failed to sign them out on the MAR. None of these patients are alert enough to report that they had not gotten the medication.

What can I do? Does any one know what actions I can take if management continues to turn a blind eye? I know we are short on RN's, but this is crazy. We already have a tough enough job without worrying about team members stealing drugs! A group of us are really upset and not sure what steps to take next. Help!!!

No Roesseba, you don't suck and you're not stupid. YOU ARE SICK. You have an illness called alcoholism/addiction. And why do we in recovery think going to meetings help? Simple. Because it does! And I couldn't exactly tell you why. It doesn't make a lot of logical sense but IT DOES WORK. I wasn't able to stop using drugs and alcohol by myself no matter how hard I tried and how much I hated myself for what I ws doing. And for 16 years I have gone to meetings, called my sponsor, worked the steps and not used drugs or alcohol. And for those 16 years I have been happy in my own skin. Thank God for AA and recovery. I don't have to do it alone.

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Why do recovery people think that meetings help? Why going to a meeting several times a week should help.?? I don't get it. If a person really wants to quit something, they will find their way to do it. I went to Hazelden tx for a month, totally use less!!!! All a waste of time. Then I had to go to outpt. tx for 5 months(3hrs/day at 3x week) and sit and listen to other peoples problems.(GROUP) How is that suppose to help my recovery?? Then my time was up, gone thru the program. Time to go back to work, because I have to pay my bills,BON said ok you must be recovered now, back to work. I went back, incredibly depressed, embarrassed, shamed and OMG NERVOUS!! I took my own prescription of Ativan that first night back to work. I have heard the should haves: call my sponsor, call the supervisor-sick, take a break.

Well I didn't and am now fired because I took a "mind altering drug". Wow, I suck!! am stupid!! everything else. I was trying to just chill a bit. If this is how the BON deals with people with a "disease" so they say, I am done with it, forever. THe BON then said they did an investigation on this incident, nobody even talked to me about this incident. I don't understand? I'm DONE.!!!

maybe i'm misreading your post, but it sounds like you just didn't want the help/support in quitting.

had you truly wanted to quit, then these mandated meetings would have made a whole lot more sense to you, and would have gotten much more out of them.

it will be much more conducive to try and help you- ONLY when you're ready.

and i agree, you shouldn't be in nursing now.

wishing you much insight and peace.

leslie

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Why do recovery people think that meetings help? Why going to a meeting several times a week should help.?? I don't get it. If a person really wants to quit something, they will find their way to do it. I went to Hazelden tx for a month, totally use less!!!! All a waste of time. Then I had to go to outpt. tx for 5 months(3hrs/day at 3x week) and sit and listen to other peoples problems.(GROUP) How is that suppose to help my recovery?? Then my time was up, gone thru the program. Time to go back to work, because I have to pay my bills,BON said ok you must be recovered now, back to work. I went back, incredibly depressed, embarrassed, shamed and OMG NERVOUS!! I took my own prescription of Ativan that first night back to work. I have heard the should haves: call my sponsor, call the supervisor-sick, take a break.

Well I didn't and am now fired because I took a "mind altering drug". Wow, I suck!! am stupid!! everything else. I was trying to just chill a bit. If this is how the BON deals with people with a "disease" so they say, I am done with it, forever. THe BON then said they did an investigation on this incident, nobody even talked to me about this incident. I don't understand? I'm DONE.!!!

Did you read my post above? No, treatment alone DOES NOT work.

Find a female sponser to take you through the text book pf Alcoholics Anonymous. No, just going to meetings does not work. I hear people in meetings say," I come here everyday and I still relapsed". Being clean and sober does not just happen or rub off on us.

When a woman poses the same angry vent to me that you have written about, I tell them this. If you decide to take a class at the local college.

first you sign up. Then you buy the text book. Then you go to class. You follow the out-line given by the teacher, do all the lessons that are assigned and by the end of the term you should have an in-depth understanding of how and why it works! (Going thru the Big Book)

But...if just buy the book and go to class, and NEVER open the book to do the assignments, you will set yourself up for failure. (Just going to meetings)

Treatment centers don't promise to keep us clean and sober. They seperate us from our lives for 28 days and give us the tools we will need once we leave. Now it is your responsibilty to do the work.

FYI-Alcohol was not my drug of choice. But I found that AA and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous had a track record that could not be beat.

What do you have to lose? And please remember-all the "yeah, buts"

just keep us in our crap!

shelly

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
I was trying to just chill a bit. If this is how the BON deals with people with a "disease" so they say, I am done with it, forever. THe BON then said they did an investigation on this incident, nobody even talked to me about this incident. I don't understand? I'm DONE.!!!

You're statement "I was trying to just chill a bit." reeks of denial. Addicts and alcholics don't have the option to "chill just a bit" with any chemical. Nurses in general on the job don't have this option either. This is why you're being investigated.

The BON allowed you to return to work after many months of treatment. I would say the BON treated you fairly and as a person with an illness. Don't deflect any blame of your lack of recovery on the BON.

It's a tough road sometimes the road to recovery. Hang in there one day at a time and things will get better and fall in to place as they should. Just stay clean and sober and get help.

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Specializes in most of them.
I lived with this situation for almost 9 months at a position where I recovered Open Heart patients. This nurse was hired by the hospital (we found out later that they KNEW she had TWO prior remediations). The trouble with her started the very first night....she disappeared on me (she had a fresh heart as did I and she went missing for 50 minutes "I was in the bathroom with diarrhea" - no, she wasn't cause I checked the BR first and then again and you know when someone's been sick)..anyway, the drug count was always off... dayshift complained and everyone who worked with her complained.. I turned in a plastic sealed 5 pack of Demerol which had each syringe opened and a different level of fluid and placed back in the lock box in the torn Demerol pack - she was always dry-mouthed...jeez, I lost all respect for the administration of the hospital.

One night the DON came in to see ME! He wanted to address my complaints about her... I pointed out number of times she worked the shift out with blood seeping through her pants (rear end) or blood seeping through the forearms of her long sleeved turtleneck which she wore under her scrub top in the dead of summer in Florida!... wimpy boy (DON) promised to do "something" oh yeah, he did - he told her I was one of her accusers..

Shortly after that, she came screaming at me at start of shift over my fresh post-op CABG (as I hooked them up to the monitor fresh from the OR)-- screaming at me that she would sue me - poor silly *****, I calmly turned to her and said, "Bring it on, baby, my husband's a lawyer in downtown SUPERLAWFIRM- maybe you've seen their TV ads?" oh, and my uncle is a partner!!!...

So here is what finally got her out of nursing and out of our hair:

Someone (and no, it wasn't me - wish I had thought of it) wrote a letter to the Sheriff's Office in the county where the hospital is located and said basically so-and-so is stealing drugs and the hospital is not dealing with it.... well, next thing you know they put a camera (the sheriff did - took the matter right out of the hands of the hospital) in the drug room - 12 hours later they have enough film for a two hour movie (just kidding) - there she is pulling the Demerol out of the bottom of the vials and replacing it with NS...smile, *****!!

Now they come into the unit on the next night (I was off, DAMNNNNN) and arrest her - and the news is filming her on the eleven-oclock news with her hands handcuffed behind her!!!! Her patient was a two day post-op who saw the whole thing!

Now, here's the kicker - she gave up her nursing license (3 trips to remediation and you are gone!) for a realtor license - she is now a freaking million dollar seller with her own freaking web site!!! DAMNNNNNNN!!!

Well at least if she is a drug addict shes doing it on her own time and without hurting people. Have also run into this in the last 35 yrs. Also md's.

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Specializes in ICU, psych, corrections.

LOL...I had planned on going to bed early tonight but then stumbled upon this and the Recovery Forum. As I sat at the computer, gripping my shiny, brand new 30 day chip, I decided I would spill my guts as I've been dealing with the embarrassment of being one of "them"....the addicted nurse. I do believe that with the right treatment, support, and monitoring, a nurse who is an addict/alcoholic should be allowed to return to their career. I say "a nurse who is an addict/alcoholic" rather than "someone who had a problem with addiction" or "a nurse who used to be an addict or have an addiction" because until the day I am put into the ground, I will be an addict. Only I can make the choice to be a recovering addict who stays clean and sober....with the help of my Higher Power (in my case, it's God).

Admitting my addiction was probably the most difficult thing I've ever done. I don't like to appear weak and that's exactly what I was doing....admitting I was powerless over opiates (my drug of choice). But before I was able to admit to myself and others my addiction, I put everyone around me through hell and back, including myself. First, I wrecked our car, then parked it in a casino parking lot and was gambling large amounts of money when my husband found me in the middle of the night, holding our 3 month old infant. Then, I was caught stealing hundreds of pills from my husband's aunt. That didn't stop my lying, cheating, and stealing. Shortly after that incident....I lied and told my husband I was going to quit....I overdosed in the unit I worked in shortly before the day shift came on. I hadn't taken any more than I usually did but I guess I crossed a very thin threshold because my coworkers found me unconscious and had me taken to the ER. About 8 hours later, I regained consciousness and realized what had happened. The addict in me thought, "oh great...now how am I going to get high without everyone watching me with an eagle eye?". No thoughts about what I had put my family through, what danger I had put my patients in, and what I had done to my career.

By this time, my addiction had climbed to about 40-50 Norco's and approx. 10-12mg of Xanax daily. I no longer was feeling the "high" I had so loved in the beginning and had to keep taking large doses just to feel "normal". Of course, that was MY perception of things....normal. To everyone else, there was something horribly wrong. My coworkers later told my husband they thought something was "off" but weren't sure and my mother fessed up that she thought I was doing drugs but was afraid to say anything to my husband. And my husband was telling everyone that I was probably just tired, having a newborn to contend with (yes, I still cannot forgive myself for the addiction while having a brand new baby...it's something I will struggle with for a very long time, I suspect). I have wonderful enablers surrounding me. They are now attending Alanon meetings, much to my relief. It's helping them deal with their feelings and everything I've put them through.

I was released later that day from the hospital and together, my husband and I concocted a story to cover up the loss of my job (can you say "denial"?). We told everyone that I decided to put my license on inactive status while I stayed home to raise our baby. I was still very much in denial and figured I could control things. I took a part time job to earn a little extra money and keep from going crazy at home. About 2 months into being clean, I met a coworker who had "issues" from supposed lower back pain and neck pain. On our second day working together, he slips me a "care package" as he called it....with several vicodin, an oxycontin and xanax. Had I been in the 12 step program, had a sponser, or taken the BON up on their program, I would have had a fighting chance. Since I didn't, I accepted my little care package with mixed emotions and within several weeks, was getting my pain meds refilled again. And things just got worse from there. Soon, my prescribed meds weren't enough, so my coworker being the helpful guy he was, called in some refills he had left that he wasn't using and allowed me to pick them up for my personal use. Highly illegal, I realize, but the addict in me rationalized this behavior as an addict will. This happened a few times and then the sexual harrassment started. Every time I had to work with this individual, he would say extremely inappropriate comments and his behavior was definitely suspect. I felt I couldn't do anything because of him calling his refills to give to me. This just added to the need to feel nothing inside and numb all my emotions, which caused me to use more. It was a terrifying ride and I needed to get off and soon.

I broke down and told my family I couldn't do this alone and needed rehab. I spent all the time in rehab focusing on myself, attending my AA/NA meetings, going to process group and learning how to build a foundation on which I could start living sober. I returned to the BON and handed over my license (whereas before, it had only been on inactive status), at which point I agreed to enter into their program. My monitoring program is 5 years from the time I get my license back, which is at least 6 months away. I'm in no hurry to return to nursing because I don't feel it would be healthy to be back at work, especially in the area where I have experience (very high stress and lots of access to narcotics). I have no idea where I will be allowed to work, as there are many restrictions (i.e. no nocs, no hospital, no home health, no per diem, no staffing agencies, must be supervised by a nurse everyday, etc.) But I put that aside to worry about when the day comes. Right now, I have to focus on me. My job right now is a full time one....to continue with all my meetings, strengthening my support system, reading the Big Book, praying, meditating, calling my sponser, sharing my story, working the steps with my sponser, and learning how to live again as a sober ME.

Rehab was almost $30,000 and being involved in the monitoring program with my BON will run at least $5000, but likely more in the end. I have to submit to random drug testing at a cost of $100/month for quite a few years. I also am required to attend 20 hours of individual counseling at a cost of $90/hour. A small price to pay for my health, mental well being, my sanity, my family, and my career. I've learned a lot about myself and what made me turn to abusing the substance in the first place. The addict will always be with me, hiding in my brain, waiting to pounce when I feel weak. I go to AA/NA meetings everyday, attend 4 days of process group that is 2 hours each, attend a nurse support group one night a week, and will spend countless hours of writing self reports and ensuring that the myriad of reports due by all those involved in my recovery are completed and submitted.

Had I not come forward and self reported, my license would have been revoked with no hope of getting it back. I wasn't ready to admit to the BON and enter into their agreement after I overdosed. I guess I hadn't hit my "bottom" yet, although some would scratch their heads and wonder why on earth that wasn't the bottom for me. I think when I realized that I could return to using after nearly dying, it occurred to me how little power I had over those little white pills.

I consider my overdose a gift from God because not only was I caught before I started to divert, but had I gone home that morning and been allowed to sleep, I truly believe I wouldn't have woken up. The exact combination that killed Heath Ledger (one week after I overdosed) was in my system as well. I was unconscious for about 8 hours, without anyone able to rouse me, including my husband, who was at my side the entire time. I came out okay, physically, but realized that I had a huge problem and that I had lost my ability to care for my patients, along with my job and my license.

I think I was subconsciously screaming for help, hoping that someone would notice and get me help. But when I admitted of my own free will that I needed some professional help, it was time to get serious and help myself become a healthier, happier, SOBER person. Knowing that I'm working on becoming a better person gives me hope. I have accountability due to all the requirements of the Board and that will give me extra motivation to get better and stay sober. I'm scared to death that I won't make it and relapse, but I also realize that I have to take things one day at a time.

Thank you to everyone for posting and especially to those in recovery and who have maintained sobriety for a number of years. It gives me great hope that I will someday be able to return to my passion, which is being a nurse. This roller coaster I've been on for the past few years hasn't ended as I have a long road ahead of me, but at least I will be able to ride it with a clear head. And if I can make it to the end of the ride, I will be a much more peaceful, content, confident person than I was prior to getting on the roller coaster! I hope that my story can help others out there, maybe those who don't want to admit they have a problem. I went for a couple of years thinking I was the one in control when it was really my bottle of pills that had all the power. I put everything in my life secondary to those pills and they nearly destroyed my life, hurt those I love, and almost ruined my career. I hope that I can get through each day, staying clean and sober and that eventually, I will be able to return to the career I love more than anything....nursing.

An Addicted Nurse working on her recovery

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Specializes in CDI Supervisor; Formerly NICU.

Hope everything works out for you, ma'am.

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To RNnTraining, Good luck to you! It looks like you have made giant steps toward soberdom!:up::)

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rnntraining,

as you said, one day at a time.

sometimes, even 1 hr at a time.

whatever you do, hang on tight to that higher power and your supports.

most importantly, please, work on your self-worth and self-respect.

it and you means everything.

many warm wishes in your journey ahead.

you're doing wonderfully.

leslie

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Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.
Well at least if she is a drug addict shes doing it on her own time and without hurting people. Have also run into this in the last 35 yrs. Also md's.

I've been hurt financially by spacey realtors, whose interests were only in themselves.......:crying2:

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Wow - all the best to you RNintraining1973. Reading that you strike as an intelligent and strong woman and I am certain you can do it!

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Specializes in ICU, ER (ED), CCU, PCU, CVICU, CCL.

Wow... best of luck RNtraining.

I have over the years seen, like many just about everything. When taking my first travel asignment in Bradenton Florida (won't say which hospital) I caught my charge nurse after only being in the unit (and meeting her on the second day) with a syringe of MSO4 in her arm while she was recovering a fresh heart! I didn't know what to do or say! I needed the narc keys, she was standing in the bathroom infront of the mirror with the door open (it was a little 4 bed pod). She was breaking the other nurse out for lunch. Being a traveler and not knowing anyone... I didn't say anything. I went home to my then girlfrind (now and still my wife.. this was 19 years ago) a drive of over 60 miles. I decided the next night to confront this nurse, who was my charge nurse and well know, a long time employee. That night I got a trauma that got creamed (pedistrian vs auto) on US 41 and I was too busy pouring blood products, putting in a swan and working my butt off to talk to her at the begining of the shift..... well within 2 hours she OD in the bathroom. The staff took her too the ER thinking she was hypoglycemic. After a day or two they ran a drug tox. I never had to tell. When my 13 weeks was up and I extended another 6 week I told my manager what happened.

To this day the nurse still works at that hospital. I heard that she went throught the IP program.

My suggestion: Notify the director of Pharmacy if the DON won't do anything. The DEA with eventually find out and fine the hospital. Or confront the nurse as a group and say that it will not be tolerated... you are calling the DEA on her as you will not share in her responsibility.

I once had my lab broken into and the narc box was bopened... all the demerol was taken. A detective came in and fingerprinter all of us. Stupid... of course our fingerprints are on the narc box! Turned out to be a contract RT breaking into departments.

The nurse impairment program is the only solution to keep a nurse working. Acess to narcs might never workout again for her. It's like letting an alcoholic be a bar tender!

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