(Forgive the early submission this week. Got a busy day tomorrow and last week's thread has just changed its code status to DNR, with a discharge to hospice. Thankfully, most of the family agrees. Unfortunately, one person thinks I'm trying to get more inheritance than Farawyn, but thankfully that's what probate lawyers are for.)
This week, I have learned:
Creatinine can go from 9 to 1.9 in 12 hours. Then 0.65, 24 hours after that, with 13,000 mL out in two shifts.
If you're prepared to ask if your patient group can be split up tomorrow, be prepared to be made out to be an a-hole in front of the rest of the staff just for asking.
My legs are a-holes.
Furry woodland creatures are terrifying.
Metoprolol is a hell of a drug.
Cardiologists should consult nephrologists for beta blocker dosing once a creatinine hits, like, 2.
Some patients would rather walk across the room to pull the code blue button rather then push the nurse call button on their remote they've had glued to their hands for days.
It appears the end of August is "Celebrate Right Before Shift Change Disasters" season.
There are two miserable ladies who post in every thread. But now I'll never know who they are.
There is a person with an STD in their colostomy stoma.
An iPhone can delete all of your contacts in one area code and rename all of your contacts 'Steve'.
I am incredibly frustrated that hospitalists don't clarify code status at admission. Families are SHOCKED to consider that just because their kids know what they want, doesn't mean we'll know.
The State Highway Administration employs archaeologists.
My baby turns 8 tomorrow. I remember feeling impatience at the end of that pregnancy because I wanted to KNOW her. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and has grown more so with every passing year. As fulfilled as I am by being a nurse (I was one of those disgusting "called to it" nurses. Wear gloves when you read my posts, friends. That icky stuff might be contagious.), being Mommy is my one true superpower. :)
I learned that someone I always liked and respected, although we have had our disagreements, has been lying to me.
And about me.
I learned that sending three pieces of furniture halfway across the country in a moving van will cost almost three grand, or half what it cost to move my entire household ALL the way across the country. Well, ok, that was almost 30 yrs ago. But still. Know anybody driving a truck to Kansas? Near Kansas? Sort of around Kansas?
I learned that if somebody wants to falsify his/her charting because day shift didn't pick up those stat orders that were written 14 hours before they were taken off the day before yesterday, it would be smarter not to recopy everything on a piece of paper that has a different date autostamped on it. And marked with a different patient care area than the patient was in then.
I learned that if I eat nothing but leftover birthday cake and cupcakes for three days, I will spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
I learned that if I want to capture and kill fruit flies for the Betta fish that lives in my office, the easiest way to do it is let a piece of organic fruit go bad inside an open gallon ziploc bag, then when it's full of drosophila, close it up and pinch the little bahstids inside the plastic. Retrieve with forceps.
I learned that someone I always liked and respected, although we have had our disagreements, has been lying to me.
And about me.
I learned that sending three pieces of furniture halfway across the country in a moving van will cost almost three grand, or half what it cost to move my entire household ALL the way across the country. Well, ok, that was almost 30 yrs ago. But still. Know anybody driving a truck to Kansas? Near Kansas? Sort of around Kansas?
I learned that if somebody wants to falsify his/her charting because day shift didn't pick up those stat orders that were written 14 hours before they were taken off the day before yesterday, it would be smarter not to recopy everything on a piece of paper that has a different date autostamped on it. And marked with a different patient care area than the patient was in then.
I learned that if I eat nothing but leftover birthday cake and cupcakes for three days, I will spend a lot of time in the bathroom.
I learned that if I want to capture and kill fruit flies for the Betta fish that lives in my office, the easiest way to do it is let a piece of organic fruit go bad inside an open gallon ziploc bag, then when it's full of drosophila, close it up and pinch the little bahstids inside the plastic. Retrieve with forceps.
This week I have learned that I need a t-shirt that reads: "WARNING! UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF PERIMENOPAUSE! APPROACH AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!" I am also formally requesting donations for a straight-jacket. A nice hot pink one with sparkles. And a personal fan. Thank you.
If you find said shirt, let me know where! I am POSITIVE my hubby and boys will buy one for me!
Jensmom7, BSN, RN
1,907 Posts
I'm glad I have my support group here lol.