10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

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Very, very funny and true!

If I may add one more:

"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)

Specializes in STICU, CVICU, Flight.

...and after I get it (arterial sheath) out, I'm gonna need to put this big clamp on your groin for a little while...

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I am going to insert this tube in your member...then I am going to stick this tube down your nose..and if you don't leave them alone I going to tie your hands down...did you say you wanted to sign out AMA.

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Specializes in Orhto, med/surg.

"Would you go do my patient" or "Lets go do Mr. Smith" meaning asking the CNA to give him a bath.

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Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.

These are hillarious!! I never really thought about how the things I/we say sound to other people!!!

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Hey, what about the things the patients are saying? I treasure my OB because he suspecialized in endocrinology. A co-worker once questioned why I would go out of network and pay my office pills out of pocket. Just change Drs, see Dr Smith. I said, Dr Jones has seen me for years, he's managing my issues just fine, and when I want a family, Dr Jones is the only one I trust to get me pregnant. Ooops! We just looked at each other and started laughing.

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Specializes in med surg.
what about "wiggle your toes....little prick" just before an IM injection

lol, "little prick"

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Specializes in SICU, EMS, Home Health, School Nursing.

x-ray was in my patients room the other day and they said something that I have heard hundreds of times, but for some reason it really struck me funny... could have been lack of sleep, but anyways they said "we need to get a quick picture of your chest" I guess I had never really thought about how that sounded before, we all got a big laugh out of that one. The x-ray tech said that another one people comment on a lot is when they say that they are going to "shoot them"

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Specializes in PERI OPERATIVE.

Two things I said today:

"I need a screw right here"...Well, I did. And maintenance still hasn't put it up! (Oh lord, that sounds even worse!)

"I have a discharge" (Been said here before, but I never thought about what I was saying!)

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Two things I said today:

"I need a screw right here"...Well, I did. And maintenance still hasn't put it up! (Oh lord, that sounds even worse!)

"I have a discharge" (Been said here before, but I never thought about what I was saying!)

I was performing a flu shot clinic. A very tall gentelman was rolling up his sleeve and struggled with the sleeve around the biceps. He says "Can we do it like this?" My response, without thinking.... " If you can get it all the way up, because I need a big muscle". He promptly replied " I don't have any problems there". I laughed so hard, I guess I set myself up for that. It sure broke the ice for the people waiting in line.

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God these are making me pee my pants

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Specializes in ltc and med surg.

Don't you just love having to ask when was your last bowel movement. It is like some sick pick up line.

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
Don't you just love having to ask when was your last bowel movement. It is like some sick pick up line.

Hey, baby, so when was the last time you took a dump, huh? Wanna go out tonight and chow some Ex-Lax?

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