Things pts say that make you scratch your head.

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1.) "I am very health conscious, and a bit of a germaphobe"

+ for cocaine.

2.) " I can't breathe, the nebs don't help, I'm allergic to steroids, because they made me swell"

Me: do you feel like your cant catch your breath, or can you not breathe through your nose?

"Can't breathe through my nose." (Sats 97%)

Now, she was wheezy, and I really think a hit of steroids would make her feel a ton better, but I guess breathing is secondary to swelling...

Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

Me to patient's wife: "Ma'am, I'm very sorry but your husband has passed"Wife: he's not dead because the alarm didn't go off ( she was pointing to an oxygen concentrator not a monitor)Me: ma'am there is no alarm on that machine. It just delivers oxygen.Wife: I know what I know. I watch ER and when someone dies, there's always an alarm and a flat line!!!I had to have the doctor come in and tell her since she wouldn't believe me.

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"I know you guys keep saying that you have to bring the medicine 20 minutes apart, but I keep telling the nurses that I'm really ok with you just bringing my dilaudid, phenergan, benadryl and ativan (all IV, of course) at the same time. I'm just trying to help you guys save some time."

"You'll need to push that dilaudid faster. When you push it slowly, it makes me nauseated." Mind you, I was giving 3mg at a time. I guess if she stopped breathing, she might not be nauseated.

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Specializes in LTC and School Health.

Patients' Son: My mom needs dilaudid through her IV right now

Doctor: How about we try tylenol to see if that helps

Patients Son: No, she can't swallow pills

Doctor: Well, maybe we can try some toradol I'm just waiting on the lab results

Patients Son: No, she was dilaudid

Doctor: How about morphine?

Patients son: No morphine will kill her, I'm her POA and I demand she gets dilaudid

Doctor: Dilaudid is way stronger than Morphine. Are you in the medical field ?

Patients son: Yes, I pass pills

Doctor : ???? Then she writes the order for dilaudid.

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Specializes in Critical Care.
I leaned over an elderly female patient that was NOT confused and she said "Wow, you have really nice breasts!"[/quote']

Lol as a child growing up I distinctly remember my nana going to see titantic in the theaters and she said matter of factly,

" I see why its such a hit. That Kate winslet is so volumptuous. Her breasts are just fabulous. Pretty much like mine back in '56."

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Specializes in Med/Surg & Hospice & Dialysis.

Lol as a child growing up I distinctly remember my nana going to see titantic in the theaters and she said matter of factly,

" I see why its such a hit. That Kate winslet is so volumptuous. Her breasts are just fabulous. Pretty much like mine back in '56."

Cute!

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Lol as a child growing up I distinctly remember my nana going to see titantic in the theaters and she said matter of factly,

" I see why its such a hit. That Kate winslet is so volumptuous. Her breasts are just fabulous. Pretty much like mine back in '56."

I looove this. '56 though, not '55 or '57? Haha!

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I looove this. '56 though, not '55 or '57? Haha!

Well my dad was born in '57, so I'm assuming he was to blame for their downfall, if you will lol

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LOL. I blame my son too, hehehe. I love when people get to that age where they say whatever they think lol.

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Specializes in Psychiatry.

A pain-medication seeking patient frequented nurses' station for "my oxycontin". My co-nurse told him that his PRN was not due for another 1 hour. 59 minutes later, he returned, "Can I have my LPN now?" We laughed rest of the shift.

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Specializes in Peds ED, Peds Stem Cell Transplant, Peds.

Worked with a nurse that was complimenting a mother on how nice her infant son's circumscion was when we cathed him

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I have a bunch... and I have only been an RN for 6 months! LOL

I had two pts that were roomates, one for back pain (mid 50's), one had a craniotomy (early 20's)

They used to call my work cell phone non stop asking for their prn meds 2+ hours early

one time, they decided to call the desk instead (its speaker phone), and we were all standing there

Secretary: Hi there, how can we help you?

Bed 2 Patient: Hey, yeah, can we get some pills down here!?

Secretary: you need a pain pill?

Bed 2 Patient: Yeah, well, send the nurse down with some for both of us!

I busted out laughing. what is this?!

The same patient asked me why the 20 year old got Dilaudid IV and he only got Percocet. I said "Your physician hasnt ordered you Dilaudid, I can only give you what he prescribed"

Him: THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS BEING IN THE HOLOCAUST!

thats the first time I was speechless. I didnt even respond, I just walked out of the room

never a dull moment.

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I know what you mean, there are pts that can really be exasperating.

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