Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

squeakykitty · Sep 15, 2009

You may very well be able to outrun an out of shape cop.....but not his dog. Tattoo guns and alcohol don't mix. Hurling bed pans at the staff wont get you sympathy. You can get chlamydia and gonorrhea in some very surprising orfices.

I don't think I even WANT to know-------

pca_85 · Sep 15, 2009

I don't think I even WANT to know-------

Mostly fresh ostomy sites and throats. How on earth an ostomy is even an option............

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Sep 15, 2009

Mostly fresh ostomy sites and throats. How on earth an ostomy is even an option............

You didn't know? It's the latest craze! No worries about babies, and you can't get an STD from an Ostomy site.....It's in the abdomen! :hdvwl: (Sometimes, I wonder what the heck people are thinking. No, wait, they aren't. ):hdvwl:

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Sep 15, 2009

My 20-year-old son called me (he lived 200 miles away) and asked what he could do for a friend who got bitten by a spider. I asked "where was he bitten?", and was told "on his face." I asked "Is it swollen?" and was told "well, kind of, but he can't open his mouth or turn his head." I said "that can't be fixed on a phone call!" and told him to get his friend to the ER, asap. Friend was OK in the end.

I have to admit, the kid was smart for calling you, and listening to you when you told him to take the friend to the er instead of attempting some weirdo home remedy. :wink2:

squeakykitty · Sep 16, 2009

Mostly fresh ostomy sites and throats. How on earth an ostomy is even an option............

Ick!!! Makes a person wonder about some people---------

squeakykitty · Sep 16, 2009

You didn't know? It's the latest craze! No worries about babies, and you can't get an STD from an Ostomy site.....It's in the abdomen! :hdvwl: (Sometimes, I wonder what the heck people are thinking. No, wait, they aren't. ):hdvwl:

Actually a person can catch one there. I think I've heard about genital warts in one somewhere here at Allnurses.com

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

Actually a person can catch one there. I think I've heard about genital warts in one somewhere here at Allnurses.com

I'm sure it's possible to get an STD in any bodily opening, whether natural or created. I was being sarcastic, cause personally it shocked me that anyone could be so selfish as to use a fresh ostomy site to get their rocks off. But, then again, I'm sure if I worked in the ER for any length of time I would have come across it, and not be so surprised.

Spritenurse1210, BSN, RN · Sep 17, 2009

Ick!!! Makes a person wonder about some people---------

:yeahthat:

squeakykitty · Sep 18, 2009

I'm sure it's possible to get an STD in any bodily opening, whether natural or created. I was being sarcastic, cause personally it shocked me that anyone could be so selfish as to use a fresh ostomy site to get their rocks off. But, then again, I'm sure if I worked in the ER for any length of time I would have come across it, and not be so surprised.

What surprises me is why would anyone allow it?

morte, LPN, LVN · Sep 18, 2009

What surprises me is why would anyone allow it?

i am sure the usual lines..."if you loved me..." "you owe me..." "because ...."

pca_85 · Sep 18, 2009

What surprises me is why would anyone allow it?

That's what I was thinking...at least now we know. That can't be comfortable................

Editorial Team / Admin · Sep 19, 2009

I never saw this case, but a surgeon I work with told a story about a patient he had to do a bowel resection with a temporary colostomy. The patient was in prison and apparently was selling his colostomy to other prisoners. Three months later when he was to have it reversed, they found HPV and herpes- no colostomy reversal for this guy!