Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

peridotgirl · Jan 18, 2008

that in the real world there is no "follow the book". You do, however, have to follow agency policy.

that the "buddy system" doesn't exist. You are on your own, working independently. And about that nurse who will gladly double check your medical math for a med--- just forget it, she has other things to do. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

stitch2006 · Jan 21, 2008

- That every family member "has" a doctor in the family who they can get on the phone in an instant

- That no matter how many times you ask a pt if they have any pain and their response is No or 0/10... as soon as family walks in, they miraculously have pain that has never been tx-ed

- That pts usually have chest pain 5 minutes before change of shift or have explosive diarrhea 5 minutes before change of shift

-

Jessiedog, RN · Jan 31, 2008

That sleep is optional for nurses. Doing an afternoon shift followed by the night shift because you are the only one able to monitor the 2-month-old with bronchiolitis in the isolette is normal. Hourly obs, respiratory status, comfort feeds, IV hydration etc can be performed when you've been on your feet and dealing with anxious parents for 28 hours.

When you call the RMO on call at 5am because your 18-month-old patient has been fitting tonic clonic for SEVEN MINUTES despite your giving them PR Diazepam doesn"t mean they will actually attend! They wait until the fitting has finished before looking into the room, stating "He looks OK now" and walking off!

That it's possible to care for your own patient load, mentor a graduate nurse caring for the next four-bed room, supervise the nursing student and field questions from a colleague placed in paediatric specialty because she was the only one available, all AT THE SAME TIME! :bowingpur

They also never told me that when you leave your career after 15 years because of burn-out and depression that you would feel so guilty, and also that hardly anybody in the hospital notices! A surgeon colleague looked at me after three years of abscence and asked "Have I seen you on the wards lately??" Hmmmmmm.........:smackingf

qaqueen · Feb 1, 2008

The trick is to poke 'em (like the Pillsbury Dough Boy).
Seriously. It works :)

poke them in the belly???

momcat107 · Feb 1, 2008

Are you sure you dont ride along with me? I do homecare for hospice and I have come out of a home and had three cows licking my car. I have had far too many close encounter with,deer,foxes,raccoon you name it. I hit and killed a wild turkey. I have had countless calls when the weather is at its worst,That momma wont wake up.So you brave the elements,almost wrap your car around a tree,and when you get to the house you find momma will never wake up again,and rigor has begun to set in. or you arrive at home for the first time,knock on the door,and you hear I am coming,then thud.LOL on the floor behind the door. you call EMS,and end up having to break a window to get in....need I go on...

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · Feb 2, 2008

That even though they are only able to walk with a shuffle, and have severe illnesses, some elderly men are able to get an erection without Viagara.

That old men pee in their sinks

That very old men still get infatuated with their young nurses.

NurseRatched67 · Feb 2, 2008

1. That ALOT of women poop while delivering a baby lady partslly...and have no idea until the wafting smell makes it their way. Followed by complete silence in the delivery room.

2. That Nurses are some of the only people who can use emesis basins (new, clean ones) to eat their lunch or birthday cake out of.

3. Using a new plastic bedpan as a birthday cake mold is really funny.

4. That putting your face anywhere in arms length of a actively laboring patient who does not have an epidural.....is never a good idea.

5. That people's butts are really "pimply".

6. That cancer patients can sometimes have a wicked sense of humor.

(pt playing scrabble..."tits and ass" were words on the board.

7. That women who don't wear socks with shoes have feet that stink more then their crotches. (remember this ladies, in the summer, if you are having your pap done!)

8. That being called "dear" or "honey" by the 80 year old man is actual endearing and not sexual. Calling him "troublemaker" in reponse is also endearing.

9. Doctors who are patients are the biggest babies.

10. When starting your first IV, don't wear white pants or scrubs.

RanieRN, MSN, RN · Feb 5, 2008

That just when you think you've seen everything that will gross you out, you find a patient eating his foot skin (I'm talking from ball of the foot to the heel, not just a tiny piece!) :barf02:

Daywalker · Feb 5, 2008

YUCK!!! :barf01:

donsterRN, ASN, BSN · Feb 5, 2008

That just when you think you've seen everything that will gross you out, you find a patient eating his foot skin (I'm talking from ball of the foot to the heel, not just a tiny piece!)

OK, then.

Ewww.

Ick.

Gonna hurl.

Huwaaaahhhh!

trmr · Feb 5, 2008

That even though surgeons put in those handy little things called staples after an abdominal surgery, they can all pop off with a nice little "zipping" sound and all the bloated insides can pop out to the outside, if you make the patient gag while inserting their NG!!!!!!! Oh what fun!!!!

MeeshellRN · Feb 5, 2008

That was great!

I'm a new grad RN and I already found myself shaking my head and saying "yep."

I needed a good laugh today--Thanks!