YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
Oh my goodness, I don't think I have ever done anything right in a year of med/surg nursing! Actually, I know that is not true, and I will explain why in a bit, but let me tell you that I FEEL your pain, just about everyday that I work.
When I started working, I had 7 weeks training, unfortunately, I had 7 different preceptors. Each disagreed with the last and I was often in trouble for following instructions of the prior preceptor.
So I get to the floor, and find that each of my preceptors was right about some things and wrong about some. The worst part was that I asked my manager, who was all sweetness and light in my interview, for an opportunity to do some additional training, that was my first mistake! How dare I admit that I dont know it all.
My next mistake was admitting an error, no one got hurt, it was policy rather than procedural, but when I learned I had done something wrong, I went to the mgr and told her. OH MY STARS, you would have thought I euthanized somebody.
So basically, the only time my mgr has spoken to me in the last year was to admonish, criticize or complain. I cannot express how excited I am that my annual review is coming up shortly. I am sure that it will be terrific!
Now, on to the part about how I know I am not the worst nurse in the world....Early on, I decided to keep a journal of sorts, to write down the nice things patients said to me. I did and still do (though not as diligently as I used to). I have to tell you that there are days that I read the entries and they are the only thing that gets me back to work. I know I have made positive impacts and helped my patients, even if my "superiors" do not realize or acknowledge it. I was meant to be a nurse.
Hang in there, not every place is the right fit. Look around and while you are waiting for the right job, remind yourself that you are a good nurse and getting better everyday.