Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight.
I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave.
Yelling and hurling obscenities at me will not get you your pain meds any sooner than they are ordered. Nor will having your family member or entourage do the same.
Threatening lawsuits and having umpteen family members camp out in the halls or hold up the nurse's station will not get you preferential treatment.
Physically grabbing me as I go down the hall is NOT a good idea.
I do not give the orders, but I do have to follow/enforce them. This is something that you should take up with your doctor.
No, I will not call him again to ask him for more pain medicine. He has been called twice and has said no both times.
No, I will not give you his number so you can "straighten him out".
No, you are not my only patient, and I highly doubt that you are single-handedly paying my salary. On the off chance that you are, let's talk about a raise.
NO, NO, NO, I most empahatically will NOT come get you when it is time for your next pain shot while you are having a smoke break. I also will not bring it to you in the smoking room. (Have actually said that, I am allergic to cigarettes. I did it once, had an asthma attack, desatted to 83, and turned blue, according to the patient and my charge nurse, after the patient had to help me back to the floor).
No, I don't really care if your family has not eaten all day, they drove here by themselves, they are not sick, and no, I will not call for 6 guest trays. (This of course, is if the patient in question does not need all 6 family members present, and is not at death's door).
No, you may not have 3 six-packs of soda from the kitchen, there are other people that would like a snack, too.
No, they will not open up the kitchen up just for you, at 1 in the morning, because you don't like the snacks we have on the floor.
I could think of hundreds, but those will do for a start. I know it sounds mean, but this is why I got out of bedside nursing. When a hospital becomes the Hilton, I'm gone!
No, you cannot have my phone number. No, really, you can't. I've already told you that's inappropriate. And what the heck makes you think I'm attracted to you in any way? I promise you I'm not. Oh, you're getting discharged in a couple of days? Good for you. No, it doesn't mean anything to me. Stop reading my full name on my name tag in that creepy voice like you're memorizing it so you can look me up in the phone book and stalk me later (yay for not being listed!). Sir, I assure you that your flirting gets you nowhere. I do believe you watch too many "films" that involve "nurses" and you've really got the wrong idea about us. Look, dude, I've been here since 5:55 this morning. The last time I peed was 5:20 and the last time I ate was 5:30. It's now 1:25. I'm a fat girl and this white uniform makes me look a little bit like the Stay Puft marshmallow. There is nothing sexy about any of that. Yes, I'm leaving now. My day is done. No, you absolutely cannot have my phone number! I've told you before that it's inappropriate. I don't care if you think it's ok because you're not my patient anymore. Ugh!
Wow. That was long. It was my last day as a student and he was really annoying.
My advice is, when this happens again (if it does), say outright you are not interested and say it in black & white - don't beat around the bush. And ignore everything else they say and just get on with work. It's the only way these jerks will listen - and the 'nurses in films' they watch are probably the ones that are sent to you by snail mail, wrapped in a discreet brown package. They think we are all fair game for some strange reason I've never been able to fathom.
My advice is, when this happens again (if it does), say outright you are not interested and say it in black & white - don't beat around the bush. And ignore everything else they say and just get on with work. It's the only way these jerks will listen - and the 'nurses in films' they watch are probably the ones that are sent to you by snail mail, wrapped in a discreet brown package. They think we are all fair game for some strange reason I've never been able to fathom.
Very good advice. Thank you. :)
I probably should have clarified that I actually did immediately tell him that I had no interest in him, and that continuing with his comments was not appropriate. He was just a very persistent guy. I also ignored him thinking that he'd stop. My whole little rant in the previous post was just what I wanted to say after a full day of ignoring the comments.
"I'm sorry you've been waiting for almost ten minutes - we do try to answer call bells promptly. I'm relieved to find, after getting into full isolation gear, that the delay wasn't life threatening. Next time you find yourself a little too warm, consider folding the quilt down to the foot of the bed (not all the way off, because your feet get cold) yourself, instead of calling for help. As an able-bodied person in your twenties I imagine that's what you'd do at home." Oh, wait, I did say that.
It must be very hard to afford your diabetic mother's insulin. After all, your cigarettes, manicures, and jewelry are definitely more important than your mother's health. Get your effing priorities straight!!
(I made the call to Protective Services for elder neglect).
No, the bipap machine is not causing your O2 saturation to go down; the fact that you keep taking the mask OFF because your lips are "too dry" might be a reason you keep desaturating. But what do I know...
What's that? You demand to speak to the doctor about this? Yes, I'm sure he'll agree that I'm just being "evil" and let you go back to the nasal cannula. Silly nurses.
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
Gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. Dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.
Gosh, after dealing with you and all of your trailer trash family members all day, it sounds as if i will apply for that mortuary science program after all. Dead folks won't annoy me as much as you all do.
Well, just snorted Dew up my nose yet again. Thanks for that, lol.
Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
You just told me your mom choked and sputtered on food and fluids and that doctor said she had aspiration pneumonia. The patient is unable to hold her head up. You, a pharmacist no less, actually asked me "Well, since she already aspirated and has pneumonia already can we still force food and fluids so she doesn't starve to death?" "Isn't starving to death worse than having pneumonia?". Nurse says, "Let's see your Mom's lungs sound like a toilet and i can hear that as i was open your front door. How about we not subject her to any more torture and you start giving the atropine now." "Your Mom doesn't have time to die of starvation, she weighs 250 pounds and she is near death due to you suffocating her with fluids and refusing to give lasix all these weaks." "Too late now; you have killed your Mom with food and fluids."
I am glad you are not my nurse. Obviously you have never been a patient or had anyone you know as a patient. These people are under a lot of stress. I've been a nurse for 22 years and learned your patients will treat you with the same respect you give them. Maybe that's why you are so jaded after such a short career.
Speaking as one of those patients who are under a lot of stress when in the hospital, I would be *thrilled* if the nurses who cared for me could tell the self-entitled, whiny malcontents with whom I've been forced to share a room all these things and more!
It's a nightmare to be seriously ill and condemned to spend 24 hours a day stuck in a room with an idiot in the next bed. For example, the last time I was hospitalized was to treat an infection with IV ABX. On top of feeling just awful, the infection exacerbated my chronic central pain to a point beyond which my usual dose of pain meds was effective. I was miserable enough on my own without being forced to listen to my roommate, a 20-something year old woman admitted for GI bleeding, balk and whine for hours about having to drink the two bottles of magnesium citrate her doctor had ordered as prep for a colonoscopy. I would have paid good money the RN caring for us (who was really good at her job in addition to being a really nice person) to be able to say to this snotty little whiner, "Look, you're getting cleaned out one way or another. If you think this is torture, just wait until they send me later in to shove a tube up your butt and pump you full of soapy water. So quit your ********, hold your nose, drink this down, and get your behind into the bathroom!"
carolmaccas66, BSN, RN
2,212 Posts
My advice is, when this happens again (if it does), say outright you are not interested and say it in black & white - don't beat around the bush. And ignore everything else they say and just get on with work. It's the only way these jerks will listen - and the 'nurses in films' they watch are probably the ones that are sent to you by snail mail, wrapped in a discreet brown package. They think we are all fair game for some strange reason I've never been able to fathom.