Thick skin

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Im a new grad,been in post about 10 weeks now and all i hear is that i need to grow a thicker skin. How do i go about acquiring this valuable tool? Im really struggling at the moment.

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Well to me it means to not let people walk all over you and treat you with disrespect. We as nurses are professionals and should treat all our fellow nurses and other co workers with respect. It could also mean to not let the unruly patients or family member get to you. You have to remember that 9 times out of ten a patient or family member is rude because they are scared. Being sick and in a hospital where you lose a lot of control over your daily activities is a scary thing and also not knowing what is going to happen. You as a nurse just have to keep being supportive to them. Or try talking to them about their behavior to find out what is really going on. If that doesn't help then get the nurse manager to help.

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You tell yourself this:

"It's not about you".

Take your emotions OUT of it.

You don't give us any examples and I can think of a ton of scenarios.

The common denominator amongst all those situations, as far as I can see, is the inability to not victimize yourself and make it about your feelings: whether it's about manning up over a c-diff stool or getting your feelings hurt when someone doesn't say "please" and barks at you to move your butt during a code.

Growing a thick skin means you pack your feelings away to effectively deal with the situation at hand.

Well, that's my thought.

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Roll with the punches.....

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Specializes in LTC.

I also struggle with not having thick skin and I have been a nurse for only 2 years. Some days are better than others but most of the time I feel as though I have no back bone.

I think it will be better with time.

Although I do applaud myself for refusing an unsafe assignment in front of the DON and administrator.

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what would this unsafe assignment be?

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Specializes in LTC.
what would this unsafe assignment be?

Being the only nurse on the unit for 13 subacute patients. This unit is supposed to be staffed with two nurses at all times due to the acuity of these patients. Alot of these patients have trachs, are post-op, diabetics, have g-tubes, and etc. I couldn't do it. Another nurse also refused the assignment. This facility has a reputation for burning out their nurses and have a high turnover rate.

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Being the only nurse on the unit for 13 subacute patients. This unit is supposed to be staffed with two nurses at all times due to the acuity of these patients. Alot of these patients have trachs, are post-op, diabetics, have g-tubes, and etc. I couldn't do it. Another nurse also refused the assignment. This facility has a reputation for burning out their nurses and have a high turnover rate.

Is this on days or nights? The only reason I'm asking is that even on nights, though 13 isn't a bad assignment for non-acute patients- is in an emergency, another nurse would be prudent. CNAs are great, but they can't call the doc while you bag someone. Days - one nurse with 13 would be a deal breaker for subacute....for LTC, it's a dream :)

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You tell yourself this:

"It's not about you".

Take your emotions OUT of it.

You don't give us any examples and I can think of a ton of scenarios.

The common denominator amongst all those situations, as far as I can see, is the inability to not victimize yourself and make it about your feelings: whether it's about manning up over a c-diff stool or getting your feelings hurt when someone doesn't say "please" and barks at you to move your butt during a code.

Growing a thick skin means you pack your feelings away to effectively deal with the situation at hand.

Well, that's my thought.

This is what I would have said had I thought of it.

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Im a new grad,been in post about 10 weeks now and all i hear is that i need to grow a thicker skin. How do i go about acquiring this valuable tool? Im really struggling at the moment.

I think you show maturity and potential to even ask this question. You are listening to constructive criticism and are attempting to apply it. Good for you!

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Basically it means not to take others say to heart so much. Don't get upset because someone isn't pleasent or comes across rude. Basically don't be too sensitive...and its a lot harder than it sounds!!! I think it comes with time and age though. Im a student studying for my bsn and I know that I will have to work on growing a thicker skin. Though it doesn't mean you should take nonsense and be bullied! Thats not right either yano! :) gud luck!

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Finding the way for others not to walk all over you while at the same time not offending anyone may be the way. As well, standing up for the patient no matter which nurses tell you to "keep em dumb"...(ugh, I really hate that). And not being at work to make friends....just to work. Work is hard work. I admire the nurses who manage never to throw their opinions in when others are dishing...they stay out of all the trouble. And yet, always stand up professionaly for the patients using your medical knowledge and gut feelings.

We have to be so sensitive to our patients' inuendos, vital signs, needs, feelings.....it IS difficult learning how to forgoe your own for that 12 hours. While we work, we are a tool of healing. All else we have to forget about! I struggle too!!! Blessings!!!

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