The Truth About Cats and Dogs

**VivaLasViejas**, ASN, RN

I've always been an advocate for pets in long-term and residential care, but after some of the occurrences I've witnessed recently in my assisted-living faciity, I've begun to wonder if it's really a wise thing to do.

Maybe it's because the staff wind up caring for the residents' pets when their dementia has rendered them incapable of remembering to clean the litter box or take Fido for a walk, with predictable results. Or maybe it's because there's an annoying little Yorkie in apartment 10B that barks incessantly when his owner goes out to activities, which is pretty much all day, every day.

Then there's the ferret in 12A that chased my son down the hall a couple of weeks ago. Her owner named her Fanny Brice for some inexplicable reason, but there's nothing funny about this 'girl'.......she's meaner than cat dirt and sneaky as a snake! She's been known to nip caregivers who had the nerve to try to pet her when she first moved in with Mrs. Smith, a jolly woman who you'd think would have preferred a nice warm kitty or a lap dog for companionship.

Needless to say, this critter is the terror of the first floor, not just because she bites but because she likes to bolt whenever she gets a chance. Makes it interesting at mealtime when she zips through the dining room with eighty-plus residents and five servers......I just hope it never happens when the state surveyors come in, or they'll shut us down in a heartbeat.

Anyway, one day recently my son, who works as a CNA at my facility, had just brought in Mrs. Smith's breakfast when Fanny, who was apparently lurking under the bed, decided to do her thing. She has never liked him---not that she likes anyone---but I think she senses his fear, as she bit him hard on the chin when he attempted to pet her shortly after move-in. He was just about to set the tray down when Fanny saw her opportunity and made a beeline for him.

Well, nothing on the tray got broken, but I think a couple of track records might have been as my son took to his heels, screaming for help and followed closely by Fanny, who was fortunately intercepted by one of the other aides before she could reach him. After that, Mrs. Smith was ever-so-politely asked to keep Fanny in a cage during the day when staff were in and out; it remains to be seen if this arrangement will be satisfactory, as the cage in question has not been purchased yet.

The menagerie doesn't end with the various canines, felines, and Fanny the Ferocious, however. Mr. Jones has a parrot, appropriately named Captain Morgan, that not only cusses like a sailor but actually laughs. This is a hoot, if only because his laughter is so unusual---it sounds like a cross between a cackle and a yelp. A typical "greeting" from the Captain when staff enters the room typically goes something like "Alleluyer, ya slimy(profanity)!!" followed by that hilarious burst of laughter.

One time I went up to deliver a package for Mr. Jones, who was out of the apartment at that particular time, and the bird began to swear horribly. I promptly broke up, not because I find this avian behavior hysterically funny, but the combination of bad language he used was actually very creative, blending traditional curses with aspersions on my ancestry. He sounded for all the world like a mechanic who's just dropped a tire iron on his toe.

Whereupon the Captain went "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" in that inimitable voice of his, which in turn made me laugh even harder, as did the bird........causing residents to give me some very odd looks as they went by on their way to bingo!

Yes, life with pets in a residential care setting can be interesting for both residents and staff alike. While the occasional cat may trip up its human and cause her to fall, or a long-beloved dog goes to the Rainbow Bridge and sends its owner into inconsolable grief, the sight of a ferret chasing a caregiver or the sound of a parrot cackling madly more than makes up for all the hassle. :paw:

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

About VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

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