The thing about 12 hour shifts...vent

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You all know! They are exhausting. My mother in law is really going to make me snap one of these days. I am trying, realllllyy trying to be kind. She said I was lazy and should pick up another job since I barely work at all, only 3 days a week. She doesn't understand why I do not like company on my first day off after doing 3 in a row. This is a stay at home mom who has never held a job in her life, not even scooping ice cream in high school. Anyway. Just thought I would vent. I am not lazy. I work hard. I need a day to recover after working 3 in a row. Ugh.

Ugh...I understand!! My parents call during the day wondering why I'm not awake. I woke up at 6:45pm and called them and they are like wow I can't believe you slept so late. I'm like well I just had 3 days on, the last two nights I got 6hrs of sleep and now that I can sleep in I want to get 10. I just tell them remember I don't go to bed until 8:30 in the morning!!

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Ugh, been there with my ex husbands grandmother. You can not talk any sense into women like this nor do they pick up on hints.......

Moving was never an option for us and she lived 6 houses down the street. Oh, AND she owned the house we lived in. Yay right?!? Not......she'd call every two minutes until you answered, and if you didn't, she drive up the house and honk the horn. If you still didn't come out, she'd march up to the front door and start beating on it. If you STILL hadn't answered (and lost your mind yet), she'd walk around the back of the house to the bedroom window and scream through it. She criticised EVERYTHING, including my housekeeping skills because I was in the middle of doing laundry one day and had 4 clean shirts folded and stacked on the couch.

Eventually I learned to have fun with her criticism- mature? Probably not but it beats the alternative and going psychotic on her and ending up in jail :D

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Yeah, if that were happening to me, I would do just as you locking her out, turning the ringer off, never returning phone/text/email etc. Thing is I get to a point where if someone pushes me too far, I get rid of them. I make certain they know that frankly I don't enjoy spending time with them, and they need to understand that I'm not interested in seeing them or hearing from them, even if a family member. How about that one! Now if they show up somewhere I am for a family or friend get together, that's fine. I won't ignore a pass the chips request, but I pretty much ignore them as if they are not even there naturally. It's bliss.

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As I've had to point out to my husband, I do the work in 3 days that it takes most people 5 days to do.

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Specializes in Mental Health, Medical Research, Periop.

I guess a few of us have monster in laws, lol! Mines always complains about my housekeeping skills and how come I cant work two jobs, and blah blah blah.. Even went on to say I should cut the grass because her son has allergies. She got mad when I told him to wear a mask, because I have allergies too. LoL! Im suppose to be a servent so your son can live like a king. I dont hear him complaining. I told my husband, "You need to talk to your mom, and tell her that she doesnt know what goes on this house, and to keep her rude opinions to herself." Yes it got THAT far. So, yes - I feel your pain. :)

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Floor nursing was the hardest and most stressful job I ever had. I couldn't move after two days in a row! My ex-boyfriend used to ask me why I couldn't leave and go out to lunch with him in the middle of a shift! He didn't get it either. And when I'd come home at 8:30 after a 12-plus hours shift, I'd take a shower and get a bite and head to bed for another shift the next day and he couldn't believe I was going to bed at 10:30! I tried to explain that floor nursing is non-stop stress for 12 straight hours, I could rarely finish a thought before my phone was ringing again. He also wanted to make dinner plans with friends when I was working two in a row. He didn't get that I couldn't just leave at 7:00 no matter what was going on. They'll never understand unless they do it. It's the same with waitressing!

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Specializes in Med Surge, Tele, Oncology, Wound Care.

My mil was the same way until she stayed with us my three shifts, as my husband does that so i dont have to deal with her.

She was asleep when I left the house and in bed when I got home. She did realize finally why I was too tired to make dinner for her son every night and keep the house spotless.

I would call your mil when you get up to work and then call when you get home. Then do it again the next day. Maybe waking her lazy rear up will irritate her, since she dosent do anything all day she shouldn't complain about you waking her and disturbing her beauty sleep.

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Specializes in geriatrics.

I need 2 days just to recover from those shifts. 12s are exhausting.

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Specializes in Med-surg, ICU.

I work at a secondary hospital here in the philippines. Our shifts are

12 hour shifts. I work 5 days a week. And to top it all off, our activities are that of nurses, nursing aids, caregivers, bedside, and utilities. Try to imagine that. 60 hours per week. So the next time your MIL rants about your job, tell her to try to walk around the house or even just stay awake for 12 hours. Let her know what you really feel

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.
Moving was never an option for us and she lived 6 houses down the street. Oh, AND she owned the house we lived in. Yay right?!? Not......she'd call every two minutes until you answered, and if you didn't, she drive up the house and honk the horn. If you still didn't come out, she'd march up to the front door and start beating on it. If you STILL hadn't answered (and lost your mind yet), she'd walk around the back of the house to the bedroom window and scream through it. She criticised EVERYTHING, including my housekeeping skills because I was in the middle of doing laundry one day and had 4 clean shirts folded and stacked on the couch.

I would have seriously considered a restraining order.... whether she owned the place or not.

OP! there's a thought! Tell you will get one if she keeps bothering you!

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Specializes in ICU.

How can people comment on things they no NOTHING about? Tell her that this job is demanding and youat are making all your money in 3 days that most people need 5 for. She needs to butt out and get a life,...

:banghead:

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.
You all know! They are exhausting. My mother in law is really going to make me snap one of these days. I am trying, realllllyy trying to be kind. She said I was lazy and should pick up another job since I barely work at all, only 3 days a week. She doesn't understand why I do not like company on my first day off after doing 3 in a row. This is a stay at home mom who has never held a job in her life, not even scooping ice cream in high school. Anyway. Just thought I would vent. I am not lazy. I work hard. I need a day to recover after working 3 in a row. Ugh.

I've never been a stay at home Mum, but my own Mum hardly worked before getting married & having 6 kids. She stayed home the whole time, even after we all grew up and left home long ago. She was too scared to go back into the workforce and has basically just hid at home for years and years in front of the TV. The TV is her source of info re society - and we all know TV is screwed up. And she's also become very introverted and does not socialise. She has consistently and CONSTANTLY badgered and criticised me the WHOLE TIME I have ever stayed with her (ie: on holidays etc) about how much I sleep in etc. I tried explaining about shift work and how night shift really knocks it out of you - any shift knocks it out of you when you've run around for 8-12 hours. My Mum says: 'I raised 6 kids and I was always up at 5 am and you can't do that (nag nag)' I tell you now, it's a waste of your breath to try and explain it all. They come from a different generation where women hardly worked (I mean paid employment, not putting down women who cared for kids fulltime), - my Mum thinks women with kids shouldn't work at all. I tried to explain how peolple NEED to work just to pay the bills! But it's akin to talking to the brick wall.

I don't blame you for wanting to have a day to yourself after being so tired - you need to re-energise yourself.

What does your hubby say? Can you have a chat to him and he can talk to the MIL? I doubt you will ever get through to her. It also sounds like you're being TOO polite. Try being straightforward but not nasty and just say you work hard - irrregardless of the days/hours you work - and you need time to regenerate. She will be offended, but I reckon you need to be upfront with her. With many ignorant people like that, you have to be confrontational or they just won't get the message - maybe they never will.

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