The Mockery of Nursing

Published

Just a bit ago the top three threads involved:

1.I have a DWI. Can I be a nurse?

2.I am stupid. Can I be a nurse?

3.If it takes me five times to pass NCLEX, Can I be nurse.

Not much left to add. Says it all.

Specializes in Ortho Med\Surg.

Flying Scot, yeah of course you can fly -- and I just KNOW that you'll be FANTASTIC at it!!!!!! I believe in you and your DREEEAAAAAM!!!

PS are you an organ donor? ;)

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
Flying Scot, yeah of course you can fly -- and I just KNOW that you'll be FANTASTIC at it!!!!!! I believe in you and your DREEEAAAAAM!!!PS are you an organ donor? ;)
And if you are an organ donor, head over my way. I could use a lung to replace the one I just hacked up. Being sick sucks!
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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

You don't want my lungs...asthma sucks! My heart's in good shape though. Wait...are you being a Debbie Downer? Don't pee on my dream.

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You forgot to tell him that if flying is his DREEEAAAAMMMM he should never ever give up ;)

My Bad, I'm sorry.

Oh, wait. I'm a new grad. I probably shouldn't admit to my mistakes and take responsibility, uh?

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I plan to murder my next door neighbor next week. Do you think this will affect my license if the police find out? Nuns need not reply....

Dang. Well, I'm out.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I also am amazed at how much and how often the Almighty is invoked when it comes to the NCLEX. Guess "put your trust in Kaplan and It will see you through all things" doesn't have the same panache, eh?

This bothers me deeply, too. So, that means if you failed, it was God's will. Not that you were ill-prepared, not that you graduated from a program that didn't prepare you...nope. The Almighty just decided you shouldn't be a nurse. What confuses me is what to think if the person re-takes the test and passes. Did God say, "Oh, what the heck, how much can one more nurse hurt?"

The same goes for when people say, "When God closes one door, he opens another," and when people say the Lord was looking over them when they were spared during a tragedy. Really? God let other decent law-abiding people die, but he spared you?

Don't get me started on people who invoke God for stupid football games (yeah Tebow, I mean you). Newsflash: God doesn't care about football games. He's too busy deciding who should/should not pass NCLEX.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I plan to murder my next door neighbor next week. Do you think this will affect my license if the police find out? Nuns need not reply....

I just robbed our local Radio Shack at gunpoint, got busted, but the good news is I didn't actually have to shoot the cashier and the assessed value may just be a hair under a felony. Go me!!!

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Specializes in Gerontology.
Newsflash: God doesn't care about football games. He's too busy deciding who should/should not pass NCLEX.

I always have to hold myself back from replying that I think God is a little more concerned about wars, natural disasters etc to spend time making sure someone passes their exam.

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.

I'm 21 years old, prettier than the rest of you, have 16 kids, am a crack dealer, might have accidentally murdered my neighbor, definitely robbed a bank, am hooked on meth not phonics, must use high doses of Valium to deal with any stress, don't want to work weekends-nights-or holidays, don't believe that wiping butts should be a nurse's duty and have failed NCLEX 14 times but it's my dream to be a nurse. Any suggestions on how to achieve my dream?:confused::lol2::redpinkhe:uhoh3::cool::yeah::hug::loveya::saint::idea::p:heartbeat:thankya::icon_roll:rotfl::madface:;):eek::coollook::banghead:

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I just robbed our local Radio Shack at gunpoint, got busted, but the good news is I didn't actually have to shoot the cashier and the assessed value may just be a hair under a felony. Go me!!!
Radio Shack ? If you had used your "critical thinking skills" you'd have known that Radio Shack doesn't have any money. Next time hit the Apple Store.
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Specializes in ER.

Geez..can't even make a joke about Real Nurses not crying in a thread about nurses feeling harassed by older nurses without being harassed and corrected that yes, indeed, real nurses do too cry..

I need to go cry now.

In my closet.

With a bottle of whine.

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Specializes in PACU.

I was at Fred Meyer when I had the sudden urge to fill my pants legs with bottles of wine. I wore my N-95 mask as a clever disguise to avoid identification, but things went tragically awry. The loss prevention officer tripped me and a few of the bottles shattered when I fell, causing severe damage to my thigh. What a horrible man to attempt to deprive me of my much needed wine--I have to go into work smelling like it to keep up my good reputation with management.

I'm currently undergoing an above the knee amputation (yay for spinal anesthesia and smart phones). The darned surgeon refused to listen to my favorite death metal album while performing the case, so I'm stuck listening to disco when the saw's not too loud. When I get out of here I'm going to sue the hospital, the surgeon, and the circulating RN for subjecting me to the torture that is disco music. Talk about patient abuse!

The CRNA even snickered and whispered something presumably unkind to the circulator when she saw my very fetching neck tattoo, which says "in emergency perform cricothyrotomy here". Think that ink might affect my ability to get meaningful employment as an RN? Anyway, she said that Maker's Mark is not an appropriate anesthetic agent, but my extensive experience fighting in bars says otherwise.

Even though it's late in the evening and the cafeteria is closed, I expect a perfectly grilled ribeye when the case is over. If I don't get it I will yell at the nurse, who has absolutely no ability to get one for me even if she were so inclined. I might even spit at her and intentionally defecate in my bed just to show her who's boss.

I'm really hoping that the nursing board won't discipline me. I have a disability--status flatus-icus--which causes all of my bad behavior, so I can't be held responsible. Once I get fitted with my prosthesis I'll rob a bank, like in that documentary HEAT with Pacino and DeNiro, so that I can bribe the board of nursing members if necessary.

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